New Year’s Resolutions

New year’s resolutions are very common at the beginning of each year.

The most difficult thing is to achieve them. We get bored, we start thinking we could never accomplish them, we have too many things to do and why bothering to take those for serious? But you don’t need to set unrealistic resolutions, you can set something like the following, that are not that difficult too achieve, if you really want to.

Here they are:

  1. Spend more time with friends, or your beloved ones doing anything you really like. It’s the best way to feel connected, even if you are an introvert type. You can create a routine out of it, like joining a club that gathers each first Monday of the month, for instance
  2. Everyday, find a way to thank someone. This is great happiness booster. You can start with being thankful for all what you have, the place you live, the job you have, the gym club you go, all that is part of the abundance that surrounds you. Day after day you’ll become an expert and you will be thankful for a blossoming flower, the rising sun, a baby smiling at you
  3. Get more sleep and exercise. If you sleep less than 7-8 hours each night, you can start by increasing your sleeping time 10 minutes a night for a week, then another 10 the next week, and so on until you reach your optimal sleeping time.
  4. After the winter holidays, we all feel a bit overweight. Starting with a physical activity will help you not only in loosing some weight but also in feeling in a better mood. Physical activity in the long run gives you more endorphins, the hormones that inhibit the transmission of pain signals and may also produce a feeling of euphoria.

Good luck and may you achieve your goals in 2019!

Personal Agility

One interpretation of personal agility is that it is a self-management concept consisting of three main attributes: adaptability, proactivity and resilience.  The profile of an agile person, then, is someone who is:

1. Adaptive – able to adjust to different organisational conditions (new equipment, new ways of working, projects, teams);

2. Proactive – able to respond promptly and to look for opportunities in the changed environment, and

3. Resilient – able to cope under changing or unknown conditions or when facing difficulty or failure.

 How does one develop personal agility? Adopting these behaviours can help:

1. Expect change to happen

2. Embrace ambiguity

3. Learn to reframe your thoughts 

4. Accept failure and learn from mistakes

5. Be curious

6. Develop a can-do attitude

7. Distinguish between two main groups of stressors: those that are out of your control and those that you can confront

Being agile does not mean saying ‘yes’ to everything. On the contrary. And while this may be a self-management concept, whether one is agile or not will be influenced by the organisational context. 

Nevertheless, there is plenty we can do to become more agile. We have gathered some resources for you below. In addition, find inspiration in those, who more easily adopt an agile mindset, like children.

Choosing the right means of communication

It happens to all of us. We draft an important message and broadcast it to the world to only find out that the world “did not get it”.

The email was misunderstood; the news announcement jumped to second page too fast; the videoconference connection got interrupted; the meeting was too long, people got distracted and missed the critical info right at the end. Effective communication is demanding. It is influenced by organisational factors such as the workplace culture and norms, the level of communication skills of senders and recipients, the engagement of employees, to name a few.

But there are also elements within our control that can help us communicate more effectively. Choosing the right means or channel for communication is one. Here we share with you some tips and resources on this topic. Deciding on ‘how’ you are going to communicate entails first reflecting on your communication objectives, audience and content.

Think about your communication objective

Why are you communicating? Are you providing general information, sharing knowledge or asking for a decision? Is your objective ambitious and you are attempting to change behaviours?

Know your target audience

Knowing your stakeholders includes understanding their communication needs and preferences. How do they like to stay informed? Will they have questions? How would they prefer to give feedback?

Consider your content

Sensitive or conflictual information is best given in person (even if there is a written follow-up). On the other hand, if your content is more informal, for example, if you are sharing useful resources, you can use social media, which will allow you to label and store the content properly.

Know the strengths and weaknesses of each communication channel

We easily fall into habits and start to rely too much on a single communication channel (I think email is abused nowadays). It is important to consider the most efficient and effective channel for each message. Getting acquainted and comfortable with using different channels is a priority.

 

 

September, going back to the routine

Summer is not over yet, but we are back to work. It’s hard, I know. We miss the beautiful days spent on vacation, wherever it was. I miss the beautiful sea of Sardinia, the fantastic boat trips we took and the genuine food we ate there.

Here are three tips I would like to give you to boost your morale:

  1. follow your rhythm – it may seem simple but it’s not always like that. Try to follow what your body tells your. You need to stretch, take five minutes and do it. You feel like walking, go out of the office for five minutes and walk. You would like to eat chocolate, eat it! And if you are an early bird, don’t start your morning by reading your emails, leave it for later, when you will be a bit tired.
  2. manage your time – learn how to prioritise your activities not only day by day but week by week. Try to establish a couple of objectives you would like to achieve by the end of your week, prepare a step-by-step plan and follow it up.
  3. learn to say NO – It seems that nobody cares about the fact that you just came back from holidays. Then, make them understand by saying no. If your boss asks you something that it goes beyond your competence, let her know and ask for help. If your partner asks you something that you disagree on, tell her and try to negotiate. If one of your friends asks you to do some jogging with her and you don’t want it, just let her know that you don’t feel like to.

The effective eMail Communicator

The effective eMail Communicator has those four characteristics:

  1. knows the audience
  2. is literate
  3. respects integrity
  4. manages dependency

Categories of email:

  1. Regular email: email that deals with everyday topics and questions
  2. Instructional email: email that is specific about telling the stakeholder what they must do or what is expected of them
  3. Crisis email: email that is looking to solve a problem or alert the stakeholder to a potential problem
  4. Legal email: email that explains a legal position or the meaning of a legal cause
  5. Dissatisfied email: stakeholder who are not satisfied by the quality of the response or the service provided.

Governing Factors:

  1. Subject line, that is relevant, determines if the receiver is going to open your message and how quickly (ideal length between 35 and 50 characters). Use a subject line formula (e.g. Status-Topic-Action-Date) and change subject line when the subject has changed.
  2. Layout: break-up the email with sub-headings as they support scanning and suggest that there is a structure to the email. Keep the font consistent, unless you want to create a visual unsettling. Use bullet points preferably with numbers. Put important words or phrases in bold so they stand out clearly. Avoid: Italics, they are difficult to read; underlining, as it is associated with hyper texting;
  3. Tone and style. Tone is about the mood, it reflects emotion and feeling, the receiver evaluates the value of what you write. Style is the way you write, it is reflected in the linguistic way you construct sentences and use words.

Tone

Style
Formal and respectful Avoids informal words and expressions in favour of more formal ones
Polite and courteous Acknowledges how the receiver feels and, when appropriate, will use language that reassures
Relaxed and conversational Uses informal words and avoids unnecessary words or phrasing
In control (of the situation) Uses short sentences and writes with purpose
Informative and helpful Gives clear and concise information that is easy to follow and understand

 

  1. Readability: it means the quality of written language that makes it easy to read and understand. Influencing factors are:
    1. The length of a sentence
    2. The number of syllables in a word
    3. Strange words
    4. Complex phrasing.

There are many formulas that test readability: visit www.readabilityformulas.com

5. Plain language:

  • Write short sentences, ideally 15-20 words. Otherwise you can:
    • Use more full stops
    • Restart with connectors (however, so, but,…)
    • Say less by avoiding repetition
  • Use bullet points. Use a numbered list when you write about a certain number of issues to be discussed. Put a full stop on the final bullet point, as you are ending the sentence. They work best in odd numbers (3,5,7)
  • Favour the active voice. It’s clearer and more direct. It puts the action at the beginning of the sentence
  • Use simple words. Don’t be afraid of using simple words, readers are in a hurry for clarity and concision.
Sounding Words Plain Words
As a consequence of because
Despite the fact that Although, despite
Due to the fact that, in view of the fact that As, because
Erroneous wrong
If this is the case If so
Necessitate Need, have to require
The law provides that The law says
With reference to About, concerning
thereafter Then, afterwards
Manner way

Remember: it’s about speed – the most amount of information using the least number of words.

  1. Tribal words: they are words that belong to a group of people or a sector or a whole organisation. If used correctly, they create a sense of belonging, if not they are exclusive because they become a jargon.

 

Tips:

  1. To better structure your information, you can use the questions as sub-headings to enhance scanning (the way most people read nowadays). Make a list of 5 to 7 questions about the topic, and then provide short, concise answers to them.
  2. The inverted pyramid
    • Important information at the top
    • Then answer to: WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY (how)
    • Adhere to 80:20 rule.

Traditional is: the problem, statement or observation followed by a discussion of options, theories or methods. It ends with a result and a conclusion.

Email approach: start with the information that is more important to the reader (confirmation of request or objective). Then follow it with supporting information and end with background details.

  1. Chunking
    • It is used for online publishing.
    • Each sentence is a paragraph.
    • There is an increase of scrolling but readers have no problem with it.
    • It’s good for a lot of news and factual information.
    • Chunking makes the text less tiring on the eye when reading.

 

Living on the Top of the World – An Italian in Estonia

 

For an Italian, living at latitude of 59.4 could feel like being “on the top of the world”. During my almost 3 year adventure living and working in Estonia, I have mixed feelings. The biggest downside was the lack of light in winter, but despite that, I recommend a visit.

Tallinn is a charming medieval city. Walking in the city centre you feel like being in a history book. It’s worth a visit for its beauty, but not just for that. I have never seen a cleaner city. Each building has a House Manager who regularly cleans the side-walk, even from the snow and leaves. And everyone use waste bags when walking their dogs.

For an Italian from Bologna like me, a downside is for sure the terrible winter cold. My family and I waited with anxiety for the arrival of our first November in town. Estonians had described it as the “frightening” month of the year. In fact, in almost every European country, November brings shorter days and rain, but in Estonia it was as if the light was switched off!

Then December arrived bringing the first cold. My son and I tried bravely to use the public transport – very efficient despite extreme weather conditions – but waiting for the tram in the cold, snow and wind was too much for us. From then on, we always used the car.

In summer, when the sun shines, it’s pleasant, because it’s never too hot. The average temperature is 20°. Tallinn’s main beach, Pirita, is beautiful and you can go sailing and swimming, although I didn’t dare to put a foot in the sea.

Estonians love singing: more than a hobby, it’s an obsession! Every town has its own choir. I remember once I was stuck in a long procession with thousands Estonians dressed in regional costumes, carrying flags and playing brass instruments, all off to gather for their Song Party.

The country’s unspoilt forests and beaches are beautiful. Nature is respected, being actually considered a divinity. To cut down a tree, public consultations are organized if not true petitions. Some of the most serious public censure has been for crime against trees. This leads to peculiar situations like one in the island of Saaremaa where there is a tree right in the middle of a football pitch. Some friends have seen bears and elks; I was not so lucky.

No Estonian could imagine life without sauna; some even build them in their apartments. Anything less than a weekly session is unthinkable. This is what I miss the most. Here in Belgium, the quality of swimming pools, Turkish baths, saunas and all related to body care is incomparable. I have not yet found in Brussels a place that offers those services all together on the same site. In Tallinn, however, it is the norm.

I am sure that you would enjoy!

Photos (courtesy of Massimo Olenik):  https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.395944727193971.1073741826.100003353403373&type=1&l=8acbcdc3fb

Gaining Perspective on Negative Events

 

Take a few moments to bring to mind a difficult experience you are dealing with: some event in the past that made you sad or angry, for example, or some anxiety or worry you have about the future.

Try to understand your feelings using “you,” “he/she,” and “[your own name]” as much as possible. If your name is Dana, for example, you would ask yourself, “Why does Dana feel this way? What are the underlying causes and reasons for her feelings?” If you begin to see the event in your mind, try to watch through the eyes of a distanced, third-party observer, rather than through your own eyes.

The goal here is not to avoid or separate from your feelings, but to analyze them from a clearer and more helpful vantage point. Spend three minutes reflecting in this way, writing down your thoughts if you feel so inclined.

Although it may feel unnatural to talk to yourself in the third person, research suggests that it can help you confront difficult feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them. Eventually, you might be able to use this kind of self-talk during difficult events as they’re unfolding, such as a stressful task at work or a particularly challenging social situation.

You can practise this exercise in any situation that may happen to you, it takes only 5 minutes!

Mind Mapping: What If Our Brain Looks Like A Walnut

Mind Mapping is a powerful graphic technique which provides a universal key to unlock the potential of the brain that was invented by Tony Buzan. I heard about it a long ago from a friend of mine who is a writer. He used it to make up the plot for his books. He could also get a license for free from Tony as he was one of the first user!

Mind Mapping takes inspiration from our brain that looks like a walnut and it help us to use both hemispheres to be more creative. Moreover, using it it’s fun and we do things better when we enjoy ourselves.

I attended a course recently, it has been long that I wanted to do it. Have a look at one of my first mind maps that explains you a bit what it is about:

 

MM_SpiderWhy I call it a spider? Because it is recommended to have maximum 8 branches, that I called legs. As each leg generates a topic, you can add other subtopics linked to the first one. Actually, this is a danger, as you wouldn’t know when to stop!

Mind Mapping will enable you to plan personal development paths, make choices and let you know where you are, where you are going and where you have been. That’s why I have decide to start using it!

Main advantages of this method are:

  • You can use colours to identify subjects: you will enjoy looking at it, read it over again and remember as it will catch and hold your eye;
  • You can use your creativity without limits and you will be able to see new solutions to old problems;
  • You can use images or draw yourself instead of writing: you will get a sense of fulfilment and reward;
  • Radiant thinking, helicopter view: with Mind Mapping you will have an overview of a large subject and you can also deal with a large amount of data.

There are some free softwares available on the Internet, just google for it. However, while you will be able to present information in a more structured way, you won’t be able to express your creativity. They are good for presentations you may want to do in front of a client or an audience. But draw very personal Mind Maps for your own use, feel free to use your imagination!

Active Listening

Do you like music? What do you do when you listen to your favourite music?

When I was a teenager, I used to learn by heart the lyrics of my favourite songs. Still today I try to do it. I can easily learn the lyrics if I listen carefully to the song and if I listen to the same song several times.

The same thing happens with people. Nowadays most of us are more interested in speaking than listening. Though, to be able to understand properly, you should be able to listen correctly to the other. Not only listening shows respect to the person who does the talking but it shows also empathy, that is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

There is one powerful technique, used in coaching and counselling, Active listening.  It is a communication technique where the listener focus for about 70% on listening, and the remaining 30% splits into 20% of questions, and 10% your opinion.

You would need to be sure of what the person is saying, therefore you will rephrase her sentence. You can also ask confirmation of what has been said. Questions to assure the other that you are listening are also useful. Body language helps a lot. Don’t sit with legs or arms crossed, it would give the impressione that you are a closed person, or impatient, or even challenging. Consider also the distance between the other and yourself. Don’t stay too close, usually one meter is okay, it leaves enough space for communicating well in a close but safe way. It also depends on the nationality of your interlocutor.

When you put a question, it has to be an open question, meaning that you don’t ask questions that have a yes or no answer.

Example of questions may be:

  1. Who/what precisely…?
  2. When did it happen?
  3. Why do you believe that…?
  4. How did it happen? Describe it more precisely.

If you would like to develop your listening skills, drop me an email.

 

Managing Yourself after a Traumatic Event

I am writing this article now because tomorrow it will be one year after the attacks to Brussels airport and Maelbeek underground station. Maelbeek used to be my station. I got off there each morning and also that morning, 22 March 2016, I was there. I usually go to work early, that morning I went even earlier. I dreamt of snakes, I couldn’t sleep any more.

Then, at around 9 a.m. a man made himself explode in the underground. I heard people crying in the street, a few minutes later we have been asked to lock down, nobody was supposed to go out of the building. It was one of the toughest day of my life.

I had to go twice to the psychologist. The European Commission offers a very good psychological suppor to their staff.

Here is what I learned that I want to share with you:

  1. try not to watch the news or the Internet. If you want to be informed, you can listen to the radio;
  2. talk and spend time with your beloved ones;
  3. don’t over work to avoid thinking at what happened, take regular breaks and do also some work-out or relaxing activities;
  4. try to get back to a normal routine, go to work, see friends,  etc. If you feel like, you can do some volunteering, it will help you to overcome the frustration of being useless;
  5. write a journal and make a list of your concerns and decide what to tackle first. But take one step at a time;
  6. avoid taking big decision about your life while under distress or overwhelmed by emotions;
  7. remember that your reaction is normal as you have been exposed to an abnormal experience. Be gentle with yourself. If about one month after the event you haven’t recovered, please talk to your doctor who will recommend what to do.