kindness – Crisbie Coach

India Part 3 – Ayurveda and Serenity

We spent the last part of our trip in India getting Ayurvedic treatments. Ayurveda, often called the “science of life,” is an ancient Indian system of medicine that dates back over 5,000 years. Rooted in the belief that health is a balance between body, mind, and spirit, Ayurveda focuses on prevention and holistic healing. Unlike modern medicine, which often treats symptoms, Ayurveda seeks to address the root cause of imbalance, using natural remedies, diet, and lifestyle adjustments.

At the heart of Ayurveda are the three Doshas: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. These are biological energies found throughout the body and mind, governing all physical and mental processes. Each person has a unique combination of these Doshas, which determines their constitution and health tendencies.

Vata (air and space) governs movement, creativity, and communication. An imbalance can lead to anxiety, insomnia, or digestive issues.
Pitta (fire and water) controls metabolism, digestion, and intelligence. Excess Pitta may cause inflammation, anger, or acidity.
Kapha (earth and water) provides structure, lubrication, and stability. Too much Kapha can result in weight gain, sluggishness, or congestion.

At Travancore Heritage, a serene Ayurvedic resort near Trivandrum, Kerala, the treatments are tailored to balance these Doshas. The experience begins with a consultation, where an Ayurvedic doctor assesses your Dosha and prescribes therapies, diet, and herbal medicines. Then, you have a daily re-assessment to adjust your treatment, that consists of different kind of therapies for 2 and a half hours.

Let’s see the most common therapies:

Abhyanga: A full-body oil massage using warm, medicated oils to detoxify, nourish the skin, and calm the nervous system.
Shirodhara: A continuous stream of warm oil poured onto the forehead, inducing deep relaxation and mental clarity.
Pizhichil: A luxurious treatment where warm oil is poured over the body while being massaged by two therapists, ideal for arthritis and muscle pain.
Peanut Sweda: or herbal stamp therapy is a unique Ayurvedic treatment that combines heat and herbs to relieve pain and relax the body.

A cornerstone of Ayurvedic medicine is Ghee, or clarified butter. It is used both internally and externally for its detoxifying and nourishing properties. Rich in antioxidants and healthy fats, ghee improves digestion, boosts immunity, and lubricates the joints.

Vegetarian Food and the Magic of Ghee

The food at Travancore Heritage is a celebration of Kerala’s vegetarian traditions. Meals are prepared with fresh, local ingredients, and every dish is designed to balance the Doshas. During the therapy (actually also later as they give you a list of recommended food) you are supposed to eat only food that is appropriate to your doshas. Here are some examples of delicious vegetarian food:

Sambar: A lentil-based vegetable stew with tamarind and spices.
Idli: Fermented rice steamed into soft, fluffy cakes.
Pathiri: A delicious crispy pancakes.
Thorans: Stir-fried vegetables with grated coconut.
Rice and ghee: A sumptuous dish with a deliciously creamy texture easy to digest.
Koottukari, a thick, delightful lentil and vegetable curry.
Dosa: a thin, savoury crepe made from a fermented batter of ground black gram and rice.

Ghee is generously used in cooking, adding a rich, nutty flavor. It is believed to enhance the absorption of nutrients and promote longevity.

Of course there is much more to explore in Kerala’s food, but those are our favorites. We didn’t taste any sweet, following medical advise, as sugar is known to boost inflammation.

The Beauty of Travancore Heritage

The resort itself is a haven of tranquility. Nestled amidst lush greenery, the traditional Kerala-style cottages are built with wood and laterite, exuding an old-world charm. The gardens are alive with the sounds of birds—kingfishers, woodpeckers, and bulbuls, while palm squirrels and butterflies dart between the trees. The air is humid and thick but it spreads the scent of frangipani and jasmine, and the gentle rustle of palm leaves lulls you into a state of calm.

However, not everything was perfect. The nearby beach, though picturesque from a distance, was marred by waste left behind (I must say by local fishermen) denoting a poor trash management. Plastic bottles and wrappers littered the shore, a stark contrast to the resort’s pristine environment. It was a reminder that even in beautiful places, human neglect can leave scars.

The Kindness of the People

What truly made the experience unforgettable was the warmth of the people. The staff at Travancore Heritage treated us like VIP, always ready with a smile and a helping hand. Their kindness extended beyond the resort. During a tuk-tuk tour of Trivandrum, our driver doubled as a guide, sharing stories about the city’s history and culture. We visited the Padmanabhaswamy Temple, and the bustling Chalai Market, where we bought spices to bring back home.

A Royal Welcome at the Hilton

One of the most unexpected highlights was our visit to an exhibition of female entrepreneurs at the Hilton. As we entered, we were warmly greeted by the organizers, who treated us like royalty, insisting on taking photos for their records. The exhibition showcased everything from handmade jewelry to clothes, each stall a testament to the talent and resilience of Kerala’s women.

The Backwaters of Poovar

A trip to Kerala would be incomplete without a boat ride through the backwaters of Poovar. We glided the water and went through mangroves, coconut groves, and fishing villages. The backwaters are a birder’s paradise. We spotted kingfishers, cormorants, egrets, herons, eagles and even a brahmin kite soaring overhead. The silence was broken only by the gentle lapping of water against the boat.

Shopping and Souvenirs

No trip to Kerala is complete without indulging in some shopping. We returned home with silk scarves, pashminas, handcrafted jewelry, and cotton shirts in vibrant colors. Each piece will be a beautiful souvenir of our trip.

Walking with Eagles

Our final adventure was a walk along the beach, where we encountered eagles soaring above. I must admit, I was a little scared, but the experience was wonderful. It was a surprise to see the wild beauty coexisting with human life in Kerala.

Final Thoughts

Kerala is a land of contrasts, serene backwaters and bustling cities, ancient traditions and modern innovations. Yet, it is the kindness of the people, the healing power of Ayurveda, and the beauty of nature and wildlife that linger in my heart. Travancore Heritage was more than a retreat; it was a journey into the soul of Kerala, one that I will cherish forever.

Do you have a special memory of a trip that you will cherish forever?

Thank you for reading. This is the last part of our trip to the South of India. If you liked it, put a like and a comment and sign up for my blog crisbiecoach.

Join the Veganuary Challenge and Kick-off the Year with Kindness

As the calendar flips to a new year, would you consider joining millions of people around the world on a journey to a kinder living? One of the most transformative and inspiring initiatives leading this charge is Veganuary – a global movement that invites individuals to try vegan for the month of January and beyond.

Veganuary, with over a million participants from diverse backgrounds and dietary preferences, is not just for hardcore vegans but it’s also for anyone curious about the benefits of plant-based living.

After one month of a plant-based diet, many participants from previous years have chosen to stay vegan, while others have significantly reduced their consumption of animal products – a testament to the initiative’s lasting impact.

Why Consider Veganuary?

Health Benefits: Adopting a plant-based diet can lead to numerous health improvements, including better heart health, weight management, and increased energy levels. Many participants report feeling more vibrant and healthier after just a month of plant-based eating.
Environmental Impact: Animal agriculture is a significant contributor to environmental issues such as deforestation, greenhouse gas emissions, and water pollution. By choosing plant-based foods, you can reduce your carbon footprint and contribute to a more sustainable planet.
Animal Welfare: For those concerned about animal rights, reducing or eliminating animal products from your diet is a powerful way to take a stand against animal cruelty and support more humane food systems.

Overcoming Doubts

It’s natural to have reservations about making dietary changes. Here are some common concerns and how to address them:

“I don’t know what to cook.” You can find some ideas in one of my previous post on simple meals. In addition, the Internet, YouTube and many Instagram influencers offer a wealth of resources, including meal plans, and recipes. On the Veganuary website you can download a celebrity cookbook to make your culinary journey enjoyable and straightforward. In you prefer books, go to your favourite bookshop and you will find ideas and inspirations there.
“I’m worried about missing out on nutrients.” The Veganuary website provides nutrition tips to ensure you maintain a balanced and healthy diet throughout the challenge.
“I don’t want to do it alone.” By joining Veganuary, you become part of a global community. You’ll receive daily coaching emails and can connect with others taking the pledge, offering mutual support and encouragement.

Take the Leap

The Veganuary challenge is not about perfection but about making a positive change, no matter how small. Even if you decide not to continue a fully plant-based eating style after January, the experience can provide valuable insights into your habits and the impact of your choices.

Ready to give it a try? Sign up at the official Veganuary website and access all the tools and support you need to make January 2025 a month of health, compassion, and positive change. Join me and thousands of others in taking the Veganuary challenge!

I wish you a happier and kinder 2025!

Human beings have only one great desire: to love and to be loved

yellow pink orange and white loves heart candies

It is clear to all that the world in which we live is not perfect, and that indeed there is still a long way to go to improve. Humanity has made incredible technological advances but many of us still live in fear and sorrow. But people have a great common desire: to love and be loved.

The world is plagued by war, diseases, famine, natural catastrophes, corruption, racism, inequality, and mankind has learned little from the thousands of years of civilization of which we are the heirs. We really live in difficult times. But the human being has a resource of inestimable value, love.

To achieve this, you should begin to celebrate life, its magnificent diversity, and make kindness and compassion your priorities. We are all very different, but the human heart needs to express itself by loving and being loved.

I hope to inspire you to offer your contribution to building a better world by opening your heart. Speak and listen to people with empathy, make a difference and never take anything for granted.

Opening your heart to others is not only about giving a precious gift, but it’s also about creating a bond, offering a positive experience, and building a bridge between you and a different world.

So, if you only have one thing to offer, offer an unforgettable experience to leave an unforgettable memory. Or offer forgiveness, or time and attention. And above all, be kind and compassionate.

Let me have your comments!

Non-Violent Communication

man wearing brown suit jacket mocking on white telephone

Non-Violent Communication (NVC) developed by Marshall Rosenberg is a form of philosophy of life that seeks on the one hand to strengthen relationships (starting with the one with yourself) and on the other it is a way to begin a dialogue favouring mutual understanding, open mind and kindness.

NVC aims to connect people in a peaceful way, using words without offending people, without attacking them and at the same time without annihilating yourself. It is an assertive way of communication. We listen to understand.

In these times of uncertainty and difficulty due to the persistence of the Covid emergency, we are super stressed and sometimes we can have excessive verbal reactions, which we may regret later.

We can consider the NVC as a real tool for maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves and with others. Who hasn’t ever wanted to express themselves so as not to hurt or attack the other?

NCV consists of a simple method of clear and empathic communication, based on these four steps.

Observation of the facts.

Try to identify the fact without expressing any judgement. E.g. “It’s two o’clock in the morning and I hear music coming from your room” (fact) is different from saying: “It’s too late to make all that noise” (judgement).

Feelings.

Express the feelings that accompany the observation. Or, imagine what the other person feeling is and ask them. E.g. “You are about to take an exam and I see you walking back and forth (observation). Are you nervous?”

Recognition of needs.

Express the needs that give rise to certain feelings. E.g. “I am a bit upset and would like to talk. Is this the right time for you?”

Formulation of requests.

Ask clearly and precisely what you want. E.g. “I noticed that you are very silent today (fact). Are you bored? (feeling).” If the answer is yes, try to communicate your feelings and make a proposal: “Well, I’m bored too. How about going out for a walk?”.

Finally, the ultimate purpose of NVC is to find a way in which each person can express what they consider important without blaming, humiliating, embarrassing, or threatening others. It serves to resolve conflicts, get in tune with people and live in a conscious and attentive way of their needs, finding a compromise with your own.

NCV helps us to discover our experiences and our aspirations and to express them with firmness and kindness.

Furthermore, it also allows us to make ourselves better understood and to understand others better, by easing intra and interpersonal tensions. NVC offers keys to understand our limits and to welcome the actions and reactions of others without letting ourselves be overwhelmed!

Thanks to this tool you can lose the fear of expressing yourself and gain more confidence in your abilities.

What do you think about NVC?

ground group growth hands — Trust – Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Let It Go

Three monks were bringing oil jars to their monastery. For some days, they had practised inner silence following the advice of the senior monk.

As they walked, a stranger who was lost in the forest came by and asked for directions to the nearest village. The three monks looked at each other. The younger monk decided to interrupt the vow and showed the man the shortest way to get to the village. The stranger thanked him and left.

The three monks started walking again and, after a short stretch of road, one of the two monks broke the silence by scolding the young man for speaking. The other monk, meanwhile, continued to mutter within himself.

Arriving at the monastery, he blurted out asking the two why they had interrupted the vow of silence.

The elderly monk of the community was observing and heard what had happened.

He then approached the three monks, saying: “Venerable brothers, it is true that the younger monk spoke and answered that stranger, but it was an act of kindness and it stopped there. You, on the other hand, had no reason to speak. Moreover, you carried a grudge throughout the journey, while you should let it go.”

According to you, why is it important to let go ?

river between green leafed tree — Photo by Baskin Creative Studios on Pexels.com

How and Why You Need to Learn to Take Better Care of Yourself

The education we have received has taught us that we must treat well the others. But why the others and not ourselves?

Are you your own worst critic? Do you sometimes insult yourself for something you did wrong or wanted to do better? Do you eat poorly, sleep little, abuse of harmful substances (alcohol, tobacco)? Or are you simply worried about pleasing others? Know that you are not alone. This is a common problem and normal to a certain extent. Because of this, it would be useful to pay attention to some daily details to learn how to look better after yourself.

As I was saying before, we have not been taught to take good care of ourselves. We put often aside our well-being. How many times have your parents told you to look well after the others or do things for the others? How many times, on the other hands, have you been told that you must also take care of yourself?

The way you look after yourselves is a kind of extension of what you have learned from your parents, teachers or caregivers.

For a very young person this may seem exaggerated, as some basic principles of self-esteem are taught in schools today. Some parents also try to instil some self-care virtues in their children.

However, for an adult or elderly person, taking care of themselves well and being truly respectful of themselves is not always something they have consciously internalized. In the past, it was not so easy to find someone who could help you cultivate a certain self-love without it being considered selfish.

In fact, this is precisely the basis: self-love, not to be confused with narcissism or egocentrism. To better understand this concept, we can first imagine what we do when we really love someone: we seek their happiness, we help them, we try to make them feel good, and we accept them as they are, with all their imperfections and qualities. Actually, looking well after yourself means really accepting yourself for who you are.

Becoming kind towards yourself, means understand yourself, especially when you face failures and mistakes.

That attitude can be a great ally. You can challenge yourselves in a healthy way, taking into account your possibilities, your desires, and not the desires that others have for you.

The use of language is very important to achieve the goal of taking good care of yourself. It is common, and to some extent normal, that on some occasions you speak “badly” to yourself, you do it unconsciously. You cannot talk to yourself always in a loving way, as you could enter into toxic positivity (when a positive attitude is used to mask negative emotions, namely pretending that all is well when it is not).

However, you must not use words that hurt yourself. Nobody insults those who truly love, right? Talking to yourself and thinking badly about some personal aspects (physical or mental), and constantly reiterating it, can in the end make you really believe it.

Taking care of yourself is essential. This implies developing a healthier and more suitable lifestyle. Sleeping and resting enough hours, for example, as well as eating well based on our weight, age and lifestyle, not abusing alcohol or tobacco, are all ways to take care of yourself. Taking time to relax, reconnect with what you really like to do, keep your hobbies, follow your passions and interact with people who bring you something positive in your life means being respectful of yourself.

What about you? Do you take good care of yourself?

The Triple Filter Test

This story is attributed to the famous philosopher Socrate but the source is not that sure. As I think that the message it puts forward is very important, especially nowadays in the age of fake news, I would like to share it with you.

One day in ancient Greece, Socrates was visited by an acquaintance of his. Eager to share some juicy gossip, the man asked if Socrates would like to know the story he’d just heard about a friend of theirs.

Socrates replied that before the man spoke, he needed to pass the “Triple-Filter” test.

The first filter, he explained, is Truth.

“Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to say is true?”

The man shook his head.“No, I actually just heard about it, and …

Socrates cut him off.

“You don’t know for certain that it is true, then. Is what you want to say something good or kind?”

Again, the man shook his head.“No! Actually, just the opposite. You see …”

Socrates lifted his hand to stop the man speaking.

“So you are not certain that what you want to say is true, and it isn’t good or kind. One filter still remains, though, so you may yet still tell me. That is usefulness or necessity. Is this information useful or necessary to me?”

A little defeated, the man replied,“No, not really.”

“Well, then,”Socrates said, turning on his heel.“If what you want to say is neither true, nor good or kind, nor useful or necessary, please don’t say anything at all.”

What do you think about it? Do you think it would be good doing this test before speaking about anything or anyone?