stress – Pagina 3 – Crisbie Coach

How to Help a Friend in Need

It hurts to see a loved one who is not psychologically well. How to help a friend need then?

Nobody taught you how to help a friend and you don’t know what to do. You celebrate successes with them but you would like to be able to listen to their anxieties, fears, frustrations and problems in general. It really depends on your sensitivity and empathy.

You have noticed that a friend of yours no longer looks like the one you used to know. They seem sad, dull, speak little, they are isolated and blocked in their thoughts. They may be also restless, nervous, hyperactive, anxious, irritable, and have started drinking a lot of alcohol.

You wonder if it was due to the pandemic. Maybe, but they were like that also in the summer, when the Covid situation had improved. They continue to see everything black, they don’t want to go out, see anyone or even talk to anyone.

Moreover, they sleep badly, and are not motivated to go to work.

The first thing that comes naturally to do is trying to reassure them, saying that they don’t need to worry, it will pass quickly, we all have problems and maybe you start telling them about yours, as if this could cheer them up. The result is that your friend is getting worse and worse.

Actually, this diminishing other people’s state of discomfort only contributes to making them feel worse.

Once a psychologist told me that when a person is agitated, you should never tell them to stay calm, because this would have the opposite effect. It is more or less the same thing. If a person is in distress, you should not underestimate their discomfort.

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Therefore, how to help a friend in need?

First, you have to listen to them, in an active and empathic way. Listening in this way is not easy, but you can learn. Validate what the friend feels; don’t underestimate their situation and make them understand that they are not alone.

Sometimes, giving advice is not useful. On the other hand, it may be useful to offer practical help, such as shopping for example.

Alternatively, you can propose to go out together, for a drink or to a restaurant, so that your friend can get distracted and maybe they relax and tell you about the difficult time they are going through. A walk in nature or a short hike are also activities that can prove useful. Visiting an art exhibition or a museum can really help raise the moral.

You don’t have to force them to do anything they don’t want to, you have to give your friend space and time, conveying hope that they will feel better later on. You can also tell them to remember some good times from the past that might be comforting. Or, you can tell them to think of other difficult moments they went through and ask themselves how they overcame them.

In addition, you don’t have neither to put pressure on them nor judge them. Only be available.

Obviously, you must not take responsibility for the mental health of the other person. If you are not a psychologist, you cannot know if what the person is going through is temporary or if it is a real mental disorder.

Therefore, if you see that your friend’s health does not improve, you should try to convince them to go to the doctor to explain the situation. Maybe you could even offer to accompany them, because friendship also means helping each other.

What are your strategies for helping a friend to overcome a difficult situation?

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How to Deal with Eco-anxiety

Eco-anxiety or climate anxiety can be defined as the stress that some people feel due to environmental events even though they have not had to deal with them (yet).

Melting glaciers, fires that more and more often happen worldwide, unbelievable heat waves, just to mention some major events, could really cause eco-anxiety.

The dire effects of climate change are hard to miss, and they instil fear in many people who are worried about the future of the Earth and obviously of the human kind.

If these fears sound familiar to you, you are not the only one.

A recent survey, conducted by The Harris Poll on behalf of the American Psychological Association (APA), found that over two-thirds of respondents suffer at least some “eco-anxiety” and more than a quarter perceive stress.

Respondents between the ages of 18 and 34, who are likely thinking about what the meaning to inherit the Earth on the brink of environmental collapse, were more likely to say they were concerned about climate change, and actually nearly half said the anxiety affects their life every day.

The online survey, which involved 2,017 adults in the United States, covered ecological anxiety and changing habits to reduce the impact on the climate.

The survey results were weighted to reflect the national adult population, taking into account factors such as age, sex, education, region, family income, and ethnicity. 60% of respondents said they had made changes to their behaviour.

The most popular, adopted by over three-quarters of participants, included reducing waste through reuse and recycling of items. In addition to improving the insulation of your home, limiting the use of services such as water, heat and electricity and consuming less in general.

Not all respondents, however, could change daily transport or eating habits. Only two-thirds said they had or would do things like carpool, walk, cycle, eat less red meat, or become vegetarians or vegans.

People who suffered from ecological anxiety were much more likely to feel motivated to change their behaviour than those who didn’t.

While climate change anxiety may seem demoralizing, there are practical ways to manage this stress. It is especially important to gain control because anxiety can increase psychological distress.

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Here are 4 tips on how to deal with eco-anxiety:

Finding concrete ways to make a difference

The APA survey found out that half of adults did not know where to start to combat climate change. While it is true that governments and the private sector have the power to make the most radical changes, every citizen can change their habits. Eating less red meat, for example, can reduce carbon emissions. Participating in strikes and protests, such as those held by Greta Thunberg’s Fridays for Future, draws attention to the issue and helps get others to act. Asking local politicians to do more on climate change is also a good rule of thumb.

Re-framing negative thoughts

Overall, research shows that re-framing negative thoughts can help relieve stress, anxiety, and depression. If apocalyptic thoughts keep creeping into your mind, or even prevent you from making plans, it can be helpful to focus your attention on the present.

Addressing all the stressors

It is important to think about climate change-related stress as part of overall mental health. You may also experience financial, relationship, professional or physical stress, which can alter feelings about climate change and vice versa. It is essential to analyse the other stressors as well and, if necessary, seek the help of a professional, like a coach or a psychologist.

Building your resilience

Greater resilience can help resist eco-anxiety. You could increase your resilience by developing a close network of friends and family. Strong social and emotional support is linked to well-being, material aid during times of adversity, and lower rates of psychological distress following a disaster.

Do you think you suffer from eco-anxiety?

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3 Tips to Keep Active Your Brain

Like the whole human body, the brain also regresses with ageing.

At birth, each human being has 100 billion neurons. At 25, your brain is at its best. Then, it gradually begins to regress and, as we age, some neurons become defective, in particular those located at the level of memory, attention and awareness of what surrounds us.

This ageing process should not be regarded as a fatality. Thanks to some activities, we can preserve the functioning of the brain longer. This will allow us to have a better life from a physical and mental point of view.

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Let’s see how.

1. Feed your brain well. A balanced diet is essential for good mental health. However, the brain needs specific substances to increase the connection of neurons and stimulate their regeneration. Therefore, eat food rich in antioxidants such as fruits and vegetables in general (in particular, artichokes, blueberries and ginger are really useful), fish and olive oil. Fatty fish (salmon, mackerel, herring, sardines) contains omega 3 which helps strengthen brain cells, optimizes learning and memory and contributes to the prevention of mental disorders such as depression and dementia. Remember that avocado and walnuts also contain omega 3 and that for a good brain oxygenation you need to eat glucose (bread and pasta) and food rich in iron (meat and fish).

2. Stimulates attention. Like the muscles that must be kept in motion, the brain also must be trained to keep its performance. It is therefore important to keep it active with activities such as crosswords, sudoku, reading, puzzles or even some video games that offer programs to train the brain. The more diversified the exercises, the better. Continuing to broaden one’s knowledge such as learning a new foreign language, playing an instrument, visiting exhibitions, travelling, and having a lively social life, are all activities that contribute to the training of neurons and prevent brain ageing. Also meditation is an excellent activity not only for improving the ability to concentrate but also because it reduces stress, anxiety and negative emotions. Meditating from 10 to 15 minutes a day will allow you to develop new connections between neurons and thus slow down the ageing of the brain.

3. Practice physical activity regularly. Physical activity keeps neurons active because it promotes blood circulation which therefore also reaches the brain. There is no need to become a top-level athlete to slow down the ageing of the brain. A moderate intensity sport is already effective as long as it is regular. The recommended frequency is 30 minutes a day. To keep up the pace it is advisable to find an activity that you like and that is engaging. Group physical activity (such as dance for example) is useful for the perception of bodies into space and for the relationship with others that releases endorphins, the hormones of well-being and pleasure.

What do you think about these three tips? Would they help you to slow down the ageing of the brain? Do you plan to adopt them?

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Why Physical Activity Is Essential to Your Health

During the lock-down, the gym clubs have been closed (at least in Europe) and not all of us were able or willing to workout in our homes, perhaps following a video on YouTube. However, to prevent not only weight gain but also stress and anxiety from increasing, it is essential to exercise regularly.

Rhythmic physical activity (dancing, walking, cycling) alone is not enough, you need to maintain muscle mass which with ageing will be decreasing.

Maintaining muscle mass is particularly important in the case of a diet. In fact, thanks to a well developed muscle mass, you can avoid regaining fat and stabilize your weight. To do that, you should eat protein, do some resistance training, increase your Omega 3 intake, and check out your vitamin D levels.

In addition, there are at least 12 other benefits of moderate and regular physical activity. Let us see them.

1. More physical, mental and emotional well-being.

2. Reduce hunger.

3. Improve “bad” cholesterol and reduces triglycerides.

4. Decrease the risk of cardiovascular diseases.

5. Decrease resting heart rate.

6. Reduce abdominal fat.

7. Improve sleep quality.

8. Reduce the time to fall asleep.

Change your habits! Run, cycle, walk in the nature but also in the city, take a yoga or Pilates class even online or take a sports coach. You will see that you will soon get back your shape and motivation!

Are you willing to start or restart going to the gym?

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How to Face Autumn in Perfect Shape

As trees are losing their leaves in the fall, we are losing our hair.

A plant that slows down hair loss is nettle. Re-mineralizing thanks to the silicon it contains, rich in iron, vitamin B and other minerals, nettle helps in the prevention of anaemia, slightly drains the kidneys and strengthens hair, nails and skin.

Using it in powder or capsules for the duration of autumn, you will find yourself with more voluminous hair, stronger nails and new radiance of your skin.

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During the autumn, the days get shorter and you may lack some motivation.

You can try rhodiola. It will help you adapt to the different types of stress you experience. It is a plant with antidepressant properties and increases the production of dopamine in the brain, thus helping you to regain some motivation and enthusiasm to start projects. It can also prevent burnout, professional but also personal. In the autumn period, when you need more energy, the rhodiola will help you not to yield to the progressive lack of light.

Orange leaves are a panacea for the soul because it gives you comfort and calms down anxiety, stress and nervousness. They say that it can reconnect you to your inner child. It is a first-rate nervous rebalancing, also with antispasmodic properties if the spasms are of nervous origin (cough, stomachache).

Pay attention that if you have any particular health conditions or if you are pregnant, you shall consult your doctor. Plants have powerful properties and you have to be careful.

What about trying one (or more) of those natural remedies?

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How to Improve the Quality of Your Life with Relaxation Techniques

As you may know relaxation techniques are simple practices you can do to help yourself calm down, cope with stressful situations, and relieve stress. The warning signs are out there: headaches, stomach knots, and racing thoughts. They are all signalling you to take action. The good news is that you can. The resources are here. They can also help you fall asleep, and go to sleep (or back to sleep) faster.

Try out the different tips and techniques listed here and see what works best for you.

1. One Hour to Let Go

This technique allows you to finish your daily tasks and help you get ready for sleep an hour before bedtime. This exercise is done in three 20-minute sessions.

In the first 20 minutes, take care of any simple tasks, for instance preparing the dishwasher or feeding your cat.
In the second 20 minutes, do some relaxing activities like talking with family members, doing an additional relaxation technique, or thanking for three things that have happened in your day. Avoid scrolling on your phone though, as the blue light on your screen can inhibit your natural melatonin production and make it harder for you to fall asleep.
In the last 20 minutes, take care of your personal hygiene. Take a warm bath or shower.

Creating consistent and healthy rituals is really a good way to getting a good night’s sleep each night.

2. Guided Visualisation

Guided Visualisation uses your imagination to engage your senses. This simple exercise can be done on your own, or with the help of a therapist or a guided imagery practitioner. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

What can you see? Look close and far, colours, shapes, and light.
What can you hear? Hear as many sounds as you can and keep looking for new ones, don’t focus on anyone for too long.
What can you taste? This is less fun as you are not eating, but try to imagine yourself eating something you love.
What can you smell? Focus on the smells around you – what are they and how many can you find?
What can you feel? Send your attention to the parts of your body that have contact with something, like the floor or a chair or table.

Through this technique, you can connect your conscious mind to your unconscious mind and help direct your body and brain towards a desired goal response. Guided imagery helps you relieve stress, reduce feelings of anxiety, and encourage healthy sleep.

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3. Self-Hypnosis. If you are only familiar with hypnosis that you might have seen on films, forget about it. Hypnosis is a state of consciousness where someone is intensely focused on an idea, which can make their brain more receptive to new thoughts or ideas. If you want to try it, there are apps or tutorials on YouTube available.

4. Breathing Exercises

You probably know that a deep breath can help you stabilize your breath when you are anxious or worry about something deeply. A breathing exercise can help encourage relaxation, reduce muscle tension, and even lower your heart rate and blood pressure. Repeat this as many times as you need. By practising deep breathing, you reproduce your breathing patterns as you fall asleep. In doing so, you encourage your body to enter that state of restfulness and get itself ready for sleep.

5. Progressive Relaxation

This technique allows you to become more familiar with your body and any of the places you may be holding onto stress or tension.

Progressive relaxation involves working with your body in different areas and each muscle group, first by tensing the muscles and then relaxing them. Usually you start with your feet and go your way up to the top of the head. In this way you will be aware of how the parts of your body feel when they are tense, as well as when they are relaxed. You can use this technique to address any tension or stress you may have.

6. Yoga Nidra

Yoga Nidra is also known as yogic sleep. It helps the body relax while the mind is alert and awake. The goal is to guide yourself through the main four stages of brain wave activity— beta, alpha, theta, and delta— and achieve a state of being between wakefulness and sleep.

To practice Yoga Nidra, all you need is a comfortable place to lie down. Begin then by lying face-up and set an intention for that session, for example stress relief or relaxation. Watch your body and notice any tension or sensations you feel. You can always find apps or tutorial on the Internet to guide you through this practice.

One study has shown that Yoga Nidra can be a very effective supplemental treatment for insomnia. In participants practicing Yoga Nidra, regular participation improved their sleep quality and reduced their insomnia severity, anxiety symptoms and their stress levels. This improvement even continued 3 months after they began practising.

Remember not to practice any of these relaxation techniques while operating machinery, driving a car, or doing anything that requires your full attention.

Have you ever heard of any of these techniques before?

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Why You Are the Words You Use

The words you use can change your reality. Language actually generates changes in your brains and changes your perception of the environment around you.

Language is linked to emotions. Your words are constantly sending messages to your brain. According to neuroscientists Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman, negative words cause the increase of cortisol, the stress hormone. Therefore, adopting a negative attitude and using phrases like “I cannot do it”, “I will fail” or “it is impossible” could weaken your personal physical and mental health.

Nowadays, many techniques associated with changing the language to treat various psychological disorders are used. An example of this is the cognitive-behavioural therapy, which demonstrate that promoting positive thinking through the language used by the patient improves their mental state.

This therapy aims to replace patients’ negative views about themselves and their surroundings with more positive ones. The applied techniques have proven to be an effective treatment for disorders such as depression, phobias, addictions or anxiety, as the activity of the brain amygdala increases when you perceive a more prosperous future through positive words. On many occasions, these therapies have proven to be as effective as medicines.

Research has shown that the brain improves when you start using three to five positive expressions for each one negative. Language has a powerful ability to change your world. It affects you negatively when you use a poor, defeatist language but it also works the other way around, namely, when you use positive phrases they will help you change your perception of the world.

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Start adopting a series of simple but very effective techniques. For example, use “yet” instead of using only “not”. Saying “I cannot do it” is not the same as saying “I cannot do it yet“. “Yet” leaves the doors open, arouses hope, evokes motivation.

You should not use “but” or, at least, you should build your phrases differently. “But” does not have the same effect when you say, “You did a good job, but you gave it to me late” compared to when you say, “You gave it to me late, but you did a good job.”

Tenses also give you a great opportunity to change your emotions. Instead of using the conditional, try using the future. You change a hypothetical scenario for a true one. It is not the same as saying: “When I write a book, I would speak of happiness” rather than “When I write a book, I will speak of happiness”. Doubt lives in the conditional, certainty in the future.

At the same time, you should avoid words like failure, problem, impossible or guilt in your language and replace them by more inspiring words like challenge or responsibility. The latter not only pushes you to grow and open more doors, but also makes you interact better with others.

Words are not harmless. They can build or tear down walls. By changing your language, you will improve your image, as language is a way to reach others. Remember that the words you use also improve the environment around you.

What do you think about the language you use with others?

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Why Sleeping Less than 6 Hours Is Not Good for Your Health

A few days ago, I came across an article on the Internet that recommended sleeping three consecutive hours and then taking three 20-minute naps throughout the day. This sleeping pattern was indicated as a model for obtaining success inspired by great world managers or businessmen, in particular they referred to Elon Musk.

As a person who has trouble with sleeping, I can tell you that science warns that too little sleep affects cognitive performance, behaviour and metabolism. With this strategy, you may be successful at the price of your health.

Sleeping is also productive. To get enough energy and focus to devote to work or another productive activity such as studying, you need to sleep at least 7 and half hours.

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One of the functions of sleep is to process and consolidate learning, focus and memory. Sleeping implies continuing to work, because the brain clears up the bombing of information accumulated during the day that is generally very intense due to the different sources available today. Our biology is prepared for short periods of sleeplessness in stressful or urgent situations.

Several studies have revealed that the habit of dedicating a few hours to sleep reduces cognitive performance, causes focusing deficit and loss of the ability to make decisions, as well as increases states of stress, anxiety and depression. Humans are ‘circadian animals’, programmed for 24-hour sleep-wake cycles. Sleeping for a few hours is a physiological assault on our body and, in particular, on the brain. If sleeping little is your choice, know that this alters the neuron-hormonal pattern which can cause:

1. emotional problems;

2. difficulty in acquiring new learning;

3. problems in storing new information;

4. increased nervousness and anxiety.

Thinking that sleeping is a waste of time is wrong because it has health consequences. Sleepiness and loss of focus are evident the next day, while other problems could arise in the long term, such as an increased risk of cancer, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, neurodegenerative disorders and metabolic disorders. Actually, sleeping for short time also increases appetite, with obvious consequences on your weight. Lack of sleep, in fact, leads to have frequent snack and drink sugary or caffeinated beverages.

Another important question is whether these negative health effects also occur when you wake up very early. Studies show that getting up too early does not necessarily cause alterations, as long as your sleep has been restorative enough. Remember that it is very important to complete five or six sleeping cycles every night (a sleep cycle lasts an average of 90 minutes).

What about you? Do you sleep enough to be productive?

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How and Why You Should Listen to Your Body

In our times, we receive information from many sources: emails, social networks, television, people we know and colleagues. Our mind is over-stimulated for the duration of the day and this can cause stress and anxiety, which can also cause a real burn-out.

The excessive exposure to those information is detrimental to the activity of our body which is relegated to a mere container of organs that allow us to move (even if sometimes less than what we should).

Too many hours spent in front of the screen (mobile phone, computer or television) do not allow the body to tone up and therefore regenerate. During the pandemic, it has become even worse, because of the restrictions imposed to avoid the spreading of the virus. We could go out less often, or not at all.

Furthermore, it can happen that we ignore the pain from the body by using analgesics or other types of medicines to avoid feeling sick.

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If you do this, know that you are waging war to yourself, because silencing your body will not help you solve the problem.

Our body is sending us important signals that we will need to start considering. By continuing to ignore the messages it sends us, there may come a time when the pain becomes unbearable and it might be too late.

As soon as you hear a strange noise coming from your car, you take it to the mechanic before it breaks down. The same thing you should do with your body.

For example, if you experience often back pain, it means that you need to change your position, adopt a more adequate posture, maybe change chairs or just go for a walk.

Try to think that pain is actually your ally because it wants to tell you that there is something wrong with you and which you should take care of.

Let’s see four techniques that you can use every day to learn listening to your body.

Mental scanner. This is a mindfulness technique that involves mentally scanning of your body from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes to check if each part is healthy.

Daily walks. This is the best way to get up of your chair. Usually all mobile phones have an app to calculate steps. I signed up for a monthly “race” with colleagues to take at least 6,000 steps a day. At the end of the race, there will be an award for the walker who has taken the most steps. Run a race with your friends or colleagues too!

Feeding your body and mind. The Japanese eat up to 80% of their hunger in order not to get heavy (this is a principle of Ikigai). Therefore, eat less but eat healthy, and sleep at least six hours a night so that your body and mind can do a complete “reset”.

Respect the messenger. Instead of taking medicines at the first symptom of discomfort or pain, try listening to your body, what it is communicating to you. Think that your body needs to be considered and looked after. Don’t wait for your body to ask you for help when you are in extreme pain, as remember that it might be too late.

When you don’t feel well, what do you do? Do you listen to your body or you take medications?

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Why Your Well-being Must Be a Top Priority

The society we live in often leads us to reverse priorities and put work first. This can negatively affects our quality of life and physical, mental and emotional health.

According to researches carried out in France, physical suffering related to work affects 3.1% of women and 1.4% of men, but according to some experts, the figures are higher. The international classification of diseases identifies burn-out as a work-related phenomenon but in reality work is not the only cause.

With the cost of living constantly rising, we are likely to work longer hours to earn a salary that allows us to provide for our own needs and those of our family. Because of this, many elements of our private life are put aside.

We spend many hours working, reducing the time to eat, to rest, to be with the family, and we do not realize how much this can harm us.

While most of us cannot afford to leave their job, a balance must be found between work and private life to prevent stress from building up in a worrying way.

In this period of forced tele-working, it is even more difficult to put boundaries between work and private life. For this reason, many governments have been drafting directives that establish the right to “disconnect”. We need to have the time to do sports, to walk, to take care of our dear ones, to follow our passions or simply to rest.

More and more people suffer from stress, feel exhausted, have problems with nutrition, addictions, or relationship difficulties, and all that because of the long working days, which do not leave us the time to do activities for our well-being.

If you feel you are in one of those situations, know that no salary is worth your health, no job is worth the wear and tear that comes from working days that annihilate your energy and happiness.

If you have no other alternatives to the work you are currently doing, find something positive to balance your life, because otherwise, there may come a time when you will start making mistakes at work and your overall performance will suffer. Start looking for another job but put your health in the first place, because if you get ill it may take a long time to recover.

Your job is an important part of your life, but it is not your life. There is much more: family, health, and friends. Do not allow work to take up all the space in your mind and body, taking the joy away from you.

Remember always taking care of yourself first, because this is the only way you can live a better life.

How do you take care of yourself?