Archivi dei tag: philosophy

Non-Violent Communication

Non-Violent Communication (NVC) developed by Marshall Rosenberg is a form of philosophy of life that seeks on the one hand to strengthen relationships (starting with the one with yourself) and on the other it is a way to begin a dialogue favouring mutual understanding, open mind and kindness.

NVC aims to connect people in a peaceful way, using words without offending people, without attacking them and at the same time without annihilating yourself. It is an assertive way of communication. We listen to understand.

In these times of uncertainty and difficulty due to the persistence of the Covid emergency, we are super stressed and sometimes we can have excessive verbal reactions, which we may regret later.

We can consider the NVC as a real tool for maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves and with others. Who hasn’t ever wanted to express themselves so as not to hurt or attack the other?

NCV consists of a simple method of clear and empathic communication, based on these four steps.

Observation of the facts.

Try to identify the fact without expressing any judgement. E.g. “It’s two o’clock in the morning and I hear music coming from your room” (fact) is different from saying: “It’s too late to make all that noise” (judgement).

Feelings.

Express the feelings that accompany the observation. Or, imagine what the other person feeling is and ask them. E.g. “You are about to take an exam and I see you walking back and forth (observation). Are you nervous?”

Recognition of needs.

Express the needs that give rise to certain feelings. E.g. “I am a bit upset and would like to talk. Is this the right time for you?”

Formulation of requests.

Ask clearly and precisely what you want. E.g. “I noticed that you are very silent today (fact). Are you bored? (feeling).” If the answer is yes, try to communicate your feelings and make a proposal: “Well, I’m bored too. How about going out for a walk?”.

Finally, the ultimate purpose of NVC is to find a way in which each person can express what they consider important without blaming, humiliating, embarrassing, or threatening others. It serves to resolve conflicts, get in tune with people and live in a conscious and attentive way of their needs, finding a compromise with your own.

NCV helps us to discover our experiences and our aspirations and to express them with firmness and kindness.

Furthermore, it also allows us to make ourselves better understood and to understand others better, by easing intra and interpersonal tensions. NVC offers keys to understand our limits and to welcome the actions and reactions of others without letting ourselves be overwhelmed!

Thanks to this tool you can lose the fear of expressing yourself and gain more confidence in your abilities.

What do you think about NVC?

ground group growth hands
Trust – Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Listening to Your Body with Qi Gong

Qi Gong is an ancestral discipline born in China about 5000 years ago. It has been influenced by various philosophies, such as Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism.

After having developed within religious and spiritual fields, Qi Gong has been contaminated by fighting techniques becoming in this way also part of martial arts.

photo a man and woman doing martial arts
Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.com

Today, more than a thousand forms of Qi Gong are known. Actually, each teacher develops his own technique observing though the same principles and purposes: to stay healthy by keeping the body, spirit and energy in balance.

According to Chinese medicine, good health is the result of a good circulation of energy in the body. Qi Gong is considered a prevention measure.

The search for balance, the precision of intention (Yi), the fluidity of gestures represent not only a path towards self-knowledge but also the pleasure of encountering oneself. With Qi Gong, we learn to love ourselves, to open up to the universe, to live in harmony with everything around us.

In the search for balance, you will experience moments when you focus and moments when you rest. Feeling too much or what is missing, for example when you go from one foot to the other, allows you to become aware of your own fragility. When, on the other hand, you stand on two feet, well anchored to the ground, you feel then balanced, and stronger.

Working on balance brings a feeling of lightness and freedom, without forgetting that through the movements and stimulation of the meridians (energy circulation paths), organic functions improve (circulation, digestion, breathing).

The body is at the centre of the relationship with oneself, with others and with the environment. Body awareness passes through listening to your body at first, by observing muscle tone, tensions, balance, posture and the direction of movements.

Qi Gong can be considered above all as a search for energy balance and harmony between body and spirit. By paying attention to the gestures, we realize that our way of thinking also changes and we get a more peaceful look at the world.

Have you heard about Qi Gong before? What do you think about it?

silhouette of person raising its hand
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The Triple Filter Test

This story is attributed to the famous philosopher Socrate but the source is not that sure. As I think that the message it puts forward is very important, especially nowadays in the age of fake news, I would like to share it with you.

One day in ancient Greece, Socrates was visited by an acquaintance of his. Eager to share some juicy gossip, the man asked if Socrates would like to know the story he’d just heard about a friend of theirs.

Socrates replied that before the man spoke, he needed to pass the “Triple-Filter” test.

The first filter, he explained, is Truth. 

“Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to say is true?”

The man shook his head.“No, I actually just heard about it, and …

Socrates cut him off.

“You don’t know for certain that it is true, then. Is what you want to say something good or kind?”

Again, the man shook his head.“No! Actually, just the opposite. You see …”

Socrates lifted his hand to stop the man speaking.

“So you are not certain that what you want to say is true, and it isn’t good or kind. One filter still remains, though, so you may yet still tell me. That is usefulness or necessity. Is this information useful or necessary to me?” 

A little defeated, the man replied,“No, not really.”

“Well, then,”Socrates said, turning on his heel.“If what you want to say is neither true, nor good or kind, nor useful or necessary, please don’t say anything at all.”

What do you think about it? Do you think it would be good doing this test before speaking about anything or anyone?

Indian Proverb

If you see all grey, move the elephant!

2019 is almost over and we will want to make a balance of what has been for us the closing year. Our successes, the difficulties we faced, what we would have liked but did not happen, what we would do differently. But is is also the time to think at the coming new year, what we would like to do, new projects, new perspectives. Maybe you could think at a meaningful phrase that you would transform into a mantra to take it with you all along the year, reminding you about the intentions you set but that you may forget.

I have chosen this Indian proverb. I know, the elephant is a big animal, very big indeed, it will be very difficult to move it! But I may look for someone to help me and then with a joint effort we could make it!

What about you? Would you think about choosing a leitmotiv for 2020!

But now let’s celebrate.

Happy New Year!