Archivi dei tag: Life

How to Free Yourself from the Negative Energy of Others and Be Happy

If you want to be happy or happy again, here are five tips you should remember and use whenever you are surrounded by people spreading negative energy.

1. Find the source – If you want to protect yourself from negative energy, I would suggest you first locate the cause. Don’t be afraid to confront it then. In the end, you will be able to free yourself from all negative influences.

2. Focus on the positive – If you focus on a certain positive thought to help you eliminate negative energy, rather than focusing on the unpleasant things, you will be able to tune into the positive energy and use it to your advantage.

3. You have the power to find the right solution – No matter what happens in your life, you will always be able to improve things. Believe in your potential and power to become happy and satisfied with your life. This way, you will understand that you are not a helpless victim.

4. Meeting positive people – The best way to avoid negativity is to meet positive people. It’s important that you have a friend who can support you, be there for you, and help you with life’s tough challenges. If you don’t want to go out, you can always suggest other ideas.

5. Negative energy isn’t always addressed to you – You might think that all negativity is targeting you directly. But this is not true. Negative energy is more about the emotional condition of others. In other words, it doesn’t depend on you and it is not always addressed to you.

Do you have other strategies to free yourself from negativity?

Walking on the Beach

I came back from a fantastic trip to Cuba where I had a chance to walk a lot on beaches.

We all know that spending time outdoors is good physically and mentally, but the benefits of spending time at the beach have just been revealed by science. 

That incredible feeling of peace and calm you get on the beach is now called “blue space“. This is what scientists have dubbed the effect that the combination of soothing perfumes and water sounds has on the brain. The blue space is enough to make you feel comfortable in a hypnotic way. Overall, this blue space strikes you in four different ways:

1. It reduces stress. Water is nature’s remedy for life’s stressors. It’s full of natural positive ions that are known to have the ability to make you feel comfortable. So whether you’re swimming or just dipping your toes into the water, you’re sure to feel a sense of relaxation. It’s an instant mood booster that we could all use from time to time!

2. The beach stimulates your creativity. Do you feel like you’re in a creative routine? Well, scientists now believe that walking on the beach helps the creative process. Being in the blue space allows you to clear up your mind and tackle problems or projects more creatively. Just like meditation, being on the beach triggers a sense of calm that allows you to tune everything else together and reflect on what you need to focus on.

3. Going to the beach can help reduce states of depression. Just like the effects you have on stress and creativity, walking on the beach also offers some relief from states of depression. The hypnotic sound of the waves combined with the sight and perfumes of the beach can put you in a meditative mode. You can clear up your mind and reflect on life in a safe space away from the chaos of your daily life.

4. Overall, spending time at the beach will change your perspective on life. And that perspective will change for the better! Nature in general has always been a factor for a healthy and happy life, but being on the beach in particular is so good for the soul.

So grab your sunscreen because it’s time to go to the beach! It’s winter on my side of the world but you can dress properly and enjoy the positive effects of walking on the beach.

Did you like this article? For more on wellbeing, please have a look here.

I Accept Myself As I Am

After finishing my training to become a coach (already a long ago, in 2017), I began to recite a mantra that sounds like this: 

I love and accept myself as I am.

Every time I argue with my husband, especially when he doesn’t like some of my behaviour, I go with my mantra: I love and accept myself as I am.

What does it mean to love and accept ourselves as we are?

First, it means having a healthy relationship with ourselves, namely clogging the genuine belief that we are enough and not continuing to try to be “validated” by others.

Self-acceptance is not just about your body. Sometimes when we look in the mirror (especially us women) we do not like ourselves, we see ourselves fat, a little older, with dark circles under our eyes and who knows what other defects. Our body is the most visible part of ourselves, and commercials make us see people in great shape, always perfect and beautiful.

But also our personality is important of course, and it is crucial to accept ourselves as we are.

Why is accepting oneself so important?

Research has shown that non-acceptance of oneself or poor self-acceptance can be the cause of depression and anxiety. In addition, a negative image of ourselves can even cause eating disorders that could also turn into obesity.

Although accepting ourselves as we are would make us feel better, it is not easy, because we always seek others’ approval. This is also the result of social conditioning, which pushes us to always seek validation from the group, from the community we belong and feel part of.

Moreover, today, with the massive use of social media, we tend more and more to compare ourselves to others, we want to get as many likes as possible, to feel part of something that goes beyond our identity, and prevents us from achieving a well-being based on who we really are and what we seek in life, our purpose, why we are on this planet, in one word, your Ikigai, as the Japanese would say.

We think that judgment, the approval of others contributes to our well-being, when in reality it is not like that.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Who are these “others” whom you trust so much that you let them judge you?
  2. Do you really know them well?
  3. Why do you trust their judgment?

Remember: accept yourself for what you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.

Make my mantra yours: I love and accept myself as I am.

The Myth of Sisyphus

The stories of mythology, like the Myth of Sisyphus, allow us to understand universal intellectual concepts. The myth of Sisyphus is part of it because it is the story of a man punished by the gods, condemned to roll a huge rock to the top of a mountain. However, once he reaches his goal, he falls back and serves his sentence perpetuating this cycle of the absurd.

Why does Sisyphus have to push a boulder from the base to the top of  a mountain but every time it reaches the top, the boulder then rolls back to the base of the mountain, and this for eternity?

Guilty of numerous misdeeds but above all of having repeatedly deceived Zeus, Sisyphus is locked up in Hades and condemned to an eternal effort. He shall transport a boulder over a mountain that inexorably falls down as soon as it touches the top.

In fact, Sisyphus’ punishment will end up becoming the symbol of any useless action, destined to be thwarted as soon as it is accomplished.

Moreover, the allegory of the Sisyphus myth can also illustrate the condition of men blinded by their own stubbornness. Persuaded to act correctly, they can sometimes close themselves in an endless spiral that will eventually condemn them.

Therefore, when we are blind to the lessons that life teaches us, we can be our own obstacle to change.

However, mistakes often offer us opportunities “A person who does not fail has never tried anything new”. This quote from scientist Albert Einstein perfectly expresses the indispensable nature of these vectors of change. 

On the other hand, these “negative attitudes” are exactly what we need at a point in time before we realize that this state of mind no longer suits us.

In addition, we shall start questioning ourselves, to be able to make the adjustments that may help us meet our expectations.

When we become aware that our mistakes are not obstacles but opportunities to learn, then we start the path towards the achievement of the dreams of our life. We open our eyes and grow. 

Moreover, this is what leads us to enter within our true self and its never-ending mutations. Pushing ourselves into its entrenchments and the emotions they provoke in us allows us to access our real state of existence and we move away from our old habits.

What is the main obstacle in your life towards towards the achievement of your dreams?

Cultivating Trust in Life

In life it happens sometimes that the difficulties are transformed into problems and that the efforts necessary to solve the complexities that life presents to us are important and sometimes last a long time. Sometimes we feel discouraged, and we feel like saying “Enough, I can’t take it any longer, when will it end?”. That’s how we lose trust in life.

Those who know the universal law of alternation continue to have confidence in life, whatever happens because they know that everything is change, renewal and impermanence. They were able to observe that an expansion necessarily follows a contraction and that after dark the light returns.  They are aware that one day things will change, and that life will make them smile again.

The guides who accompany the great expeditions in Kilimanjaro, one of the highest mountains in the world, use a Swahili expression to comfort fatigued walkers: “Polé, polé”, which means “slowly, slowly, one step at a time”.

Without interpreting what happens to us or projecting ourselves into a future that we do not know, we are left with only the concrete possibility of welcoming our moments of misfortune, without resisting them, because all the efforts will only cause loss of energy.

So, go ahead, keep on with trust in life, and slowly, slowly, one step at a time, you will find the light at the end of the tunnel.

You can find more articles on trust here.

brown brick tunnel
Light – Photo by Ksenia I on Pexels.com

Becoming Older, Becoming Wiser

Becoming older means also becoming wiser. You realize what really matters in your life, what you privilege and who you choose to spend your time with.
Priority goes to what really matters in your life

During your youth, you felt almost always excited and you believed that the world was in your hands. You thought you had all the time ahead to realize and live your dreams. Becoming older makes you understand that time is limited and therefore precious. 

Because of that, you want to enjoy every minute and every second with what is essential for you. Going out in the evening and getting home very late (or also very early the day after), nights spent drinking, dancing until your feet would hurt, no longer interest you. What matters is enjoying the time spent with your family, dedicating them qualitative time, that is time of exchange, time that counts and that is not forgotten. You realize that time flies, so you want to favour the present moment. Looking at photos together, savouring the small magical moments of hugs, or playing with your children are moments of unforgettable happiness.

Avoiding self-righteous people

Hypocrisy is no longer part of your life as an adult (at least it should be). Sincerity is what you are looking for. Instead of uttering an uninteresting sentence to someone you barely know or don’t particularly like, you’d rather be sincere, kind but sincere. At the same time, you will be attracted to people who are honest in their gestures, words and actions; people who bring a positive note to your life.

Respecting the lives of others.

Time and experience are great teachers when it comes to knowing oneself and the others. Wisdom teaches you to turn away from the problems and conflicts that don’t concern you, so as to avoid getting involved with bad energy. Therefore, respecting the lives of others becomes a fundamental principle. 

Restricting your circle of friends

By ageing, the idea of making new friends doesn’t interest you any longer. Your priorities are more related to your family. You seek good friends rather than many friends. You try to build healthy relationships and you want to avoid toxic people.

Becoming older means crossing many paths with pitfalls. However, the difficulties that life presented you, allowed you to become stronger, more determined and wiser. 

You have learned to know the difference between a person who is harmful to your well-being and a person full of positive energy who brings you joy and good mood.

Which other advantages would you see in becoming older?

photo of pathway surrounded by fir trees
Pahts in Life – Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

The Black Dot

“Energy goes where your focus is” Tony Robbins

This is what the story of the black dot is about.

One day, a professor entered the classroom and asked the students to get ready for a surprise test.

They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin.

The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked the students to turn over the papers.

To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions – just a black dot in the middle of the paper sheet.

The professor, seeing the expression on everyone’s faces, told them the following: “I want you to write about what you see there.”

The students, confused, got started on the inexplicable task.

When the given time was over, the professor took back all the papers, and started reading each one aloud, in front of all the students.

All of them, with no exception, defined the black dot, trying to explain why it was in the middle of the sheet.

After all had been read, and the classroom was silent, the professor started to explain: “I’m not going to give you a note on this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot. The same happens in our lives.”

Life is like a piece of paper to write on, observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots.

Life is a gift, and we always have reasons to celebrate – nature renewing itself daily, friends around us, the job that provides us money to live, the love of our partner, our children, and much more.

The dark spots are very small when compared to everything we have in our lives, but they’re the ones that pollute our mind.

Take your eyes away from the black dots in your life. Enjoy each one of your blessings and each moment that life gives you. Be happy and just live!

Do you think you are living your life fully?

woman in white long sleeve shirt standing near white and gray house during daytime
Life – Photo by Julian Jagtenberg on Pexels.com

A Poem: Die Slowly by Martha Medeiros

He who becomes the slave of habit,
who follows the same routines every day,
who never changes brand,
who does not risk and change the color of his clothes,
who does not talk to people he doesn’t know
dies slowly.


He who makes television his guru
dies slowly.


He or she who shuns passion,
who prefers black on white,
and the dots on the “i” to a whirlpool of emotions,
precisely those that recover the gleam of the eyes,
smiles from the yawns,
hearts from the stumbling and feelings
dies slowly.


He or she who does not turn things topsy-turvy,
who is unhappy at work,
who does not risk certainty for uncertainty,
to thus follow a dream,
those who do not forego sound advice at least once in their lives,
die slowly.


He who does not travel,
who does not read,
who can not hear music,
who does not find grace in himself,
dies slowly.


He who slowly destroys his self love,
who does not allow himself to be helped,
who spends days on end complaining about his own bad luck,
about the rain that never stops,
dies slowly.


He or she who abandon a project before starting it,
who fail to ask questions on subjects he doesn’t know,
he or she who don’t reply when they are asked something they do know,
die slowly.


Let’s avoid death in small doses,
reminding oneself that being alive requires an effort far greater than the simple fact of breathing.


Only a burning patience will lead
to the attainment of a splendid happiness.

Martha Medeiros