After finishing my training to become a coach (already a long ago, in 2017), I began to recite a mantra that sounds like this:
I love and accept myself as I am.
Every time I argue with my husband, especially when he doesn’t like some of my behaviour, I go with my mantra: I love and accept myself as I am.
What does it mean to love and accept ourselves as we are?
First, it means having a healthy relationship with ourselves, namely clogging the genuine belief that we are enough and not continuing to try to be “validated” by others.
Self-acceptance is not just about your body. Sometimes when we look in the mirror (especially us women) we do not like ourselves, we see ourselves fat, a little older, with dark circles under our eyes and who knows what other defects. Our body is the most visible part of ourselves, and commercials make us see people in great shape, always perfect and beautiful.
But also our personality is important of course, and it is crucial to accept ourselves as we are.
Why is accepting oneself so important?
Research has shown that non-acceptance of oneself or poor self-acceptance can be the cause of depression and anxiety. In addition, a negative image of ourselves can even cause eating disorders that could also turn into obesity.
Although accepting ourselves as we are would make us feel better, it is not easy, because we always seek others’ approval. This is also the result of social conditioning, which pushes us to always seek validation from the group, from the community we belong and feel part of.
Moreover, today, with the massive use of social media, we tend more and more to compare ourselves to others, we want to get as many likes as possible, to feel part of something that goes beyond our identity, and prevents us from achieving a well-being based on who we really are and what we seek in life, our purpose, why we are on this planet, in one word, your Ikigai, as the Japanese would say.
We think that judgment, the approval of others contributes to our well-being, when in reality it is not like that.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Who are these “others” whom you trust so much that you let them judge you?
- Do you really know them well?
- Why do you trust their judgment?
Remember: accept yourself for what you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.
Make my mantra yours: I love and accept myself as I am.