Well-being – Pagina 10 – Crisbie Coach

How to Improve the Quality of Your Life with Relaxation Techniques

As you may know relaxation techniques are simple practices you can do to help yourself calm down, cope with stressful situations, and relieve stress. The warning signs are out there: headaches, stomach knots, and racing thoughts. They are all signalling you to take action. The good news is that you can. The resources are here. They can also help you fall asleep, and go to sleep (or back to sleep) faster.

Try out the different tips and techniques listed here and see what works best for you.

1. One Hour to Let Go

This technique allows you to finish your daily tasks and help you get ready for sleep an hour before bedtime. This exercise is done in three 20-minute sessions.

In the first 20 minutes, take care of any simple tasks, for instance preparing the dishwasher or feeding your cat.
In the second 20 minutes, do some relaxing activities like talking with family members, doing an additional relaxation technique, or thanking for three things that have happened in your day. Avoid scrolling on your phone though, as the blue light on your screen can inhibit your natural melatonin production and make it harder for you to fall asleep.
In the last 20 minutes, take care of your personal hygiene. Take a warm bath or shower.

Creating consistent and healthy rituals is really a good way to getting a good night’s sleep each night.

2. Guided Visualisation

Guided Visualisation uses your imagination to engage your senses. This simple exercise can be done on your own, or with the help of a therapist or a guided imagery practitioner. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

What can you see? Look close and far, colours, shapes, and light.
What can you hear? Hear as many sounds as you can and keep looking for new ones, don’t focus on anyone for too long.
What can you taste? This is less fun as you are not eating, but try to imagine yourself eating something you love.
What can you smell? Focus on the smells around you – what are they and how many can you find?
What can you feel? Send your attention to the parts of your body that have contact with something, like the floor or a chair or table.

Through this technique, you can connect your conscious mind to your unconscious mind and help direct your body and brain towards a desired goal response. Guided imagery helps you relieve stress, reduce feelings of anxiety, and encourage healthy sleep.

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3. Self-Hypnosis. If you are only familiar with hypnosis that you might have seen on films, forget about it. Hypnosis is a state of consciousness where someone is intensely focused on an idea, which can make their brain more receptive to new thoughts or ideas. If you want to try it, there are apps or tutorials on YouTube available.

4. Breathing Exercises

You probably know that a deep breath can help you stabilize your breath when you are anxious or worry about something deeply. A breathing exercise can help encourage relaxation, reduce muscle tension, and even lower your heart rate and blood pressure. Repeat this as many times as you need. By practising deep breathing, you reproduce your breathing patterns as you fall asleep. In doing so, you encourage your body to enter that state of restfulness and get itself ready for sleep.

5. Progressive Relaxation

This technique allows you to become more familiar with your body and any of the places you may be holding onto stress or tension.

Progressive relaxation involves working with your body in different areas and each muscle group, first by tensing the muscles and then relaxing them. Usually you start with your feet and go your way up to the top of the head. In this way you will be aware of how the parts of your body feel when they are tense, as well as when they are relaxed. You can use this technique to address any tension or stress you may have.

6. Yoga Nidra

Yoga Nidra is also known as yogic sleep. It helps the body relax while the mind is alert and awake. The goal is to guide yourself through the main four stages of brain wave activity— beta, alpha, theta, and delta— and achieve a state of being between wakefulness and sleep.

To practice Yoga Nidra, all you need is a comfortable place to lie down. Begin then by lying face-up and set an intention for that session, for example stress relief or relaxation. Watch your body and notice any tension or sensations you feel. You can always find apps or tutorial on the Internet to guide you through this practice.

One study has shown that Yoga Nidra can be a very effective supplemental treatment for insomnia. In participants practicing Yoga Nidra, regular participation improved their sleep quality and reduced their insomnia severity, anxiety symptoms and their stress levels. This improvement even continued 3 months after they began practising.

Remember not to practice any of these relaxation techniques while operating machinery, driving a car, or doing anything that requires your full attention.

Have you ever heard of any of these techniques before?

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Why You Are the Words You Use

The words you use can change your reality. Language actually generates changes in your brains and changes your perception of the environment around you.

Language is linked to emotions. Your words are constantly sending messages to your brain. According to neuroscientists Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman, negative words cause the increase of cortisol, the stress hormone. Therefore, adopting a negative attitude and using phrases like “I cannot do it”, “I will fail” or “it is impossible” could weaken your personal physical and mental health.

Nowadays, many techniques associated with changing the language to treat various psychological disorders are used. An example of this is the cognitive-behavioural therapy, which demonstrate that promoting positive thinking through the language used by the patient improves their mental state.

This therapy aims to replace patients’ negative views about themselves and their surroundings with more positive ones. The applied techniques have proven to be an effective treatment for disorders such as depression, phobias, addictions or anxiety, as the activity of the brain amygdala increases when you perceive a more prosperous future through positive words. On many occasions, these therapies have proven to be as effective as medicines.

Research has shown that the brain improves when you start using three to five positive expressions for each one negative. Language has a powerful ability to change your world. It affects you negatively when you use a poor, defeatist language but it also works the other way around, namely, when you use positive phrases they will help you change your perception of the world.

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Start adopting a series of simple but very effective techniques. For example, use “yet” instead of using only “not”. Saying “I cannot do it” is not the same as saying “I cannot do it yet“. “Yet” leaves the doors open, arouses hope, evokes motivation.

You should not use “but” or, at least, you should build your phrases differently. “But” does not have the same effect when you say, “You did a good job, but you gave it to me late” compared to when you say, “You gave it to me late, but you did a good job.”

Tenses also give you a great opportunity to change your emotions. Instead of using the conditional, try using the future. You change a hypothetical scenario for a true one. It is not the same as saying: “When I write a book, I would speak of happiness” rather than “When I write a book, I will speak of happiness”. Doubt lives in the conditional, certainty in the future.

At the same time, you should avoid words like failure, problem, impossible or guilt in your language and replace them by more inspiring words like challenge or responsibility. The latter not only pushes you to grow and open more doors, but also makes you interact better with others.

Words are not harmless. They can build or tear down walls. By changing your language, you will improve your image, as language is a way to reach others. Remember that the words you use also improve the environment around you.

What do you think about the language you use with others?

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Happy Ferragosto to All!

Do you know that today in Italy, and in some other Catholic countries, the 15 August is a holiday?

We call it Ferragosto. Today it is a religious day when the Catholics celebrate the Assumption of the Virgin Mary into Heaven (the Assumption Day).

However, the most famous Italian summer day derives from the Roman day called Feriae Augusti (rest of Augustus), established by the emperor Augustus in 18 BC. to grant a period of rest and celebrations to the Consalia, the end of agricultural work. The days of the Feriae Augusti were used precisely to recover from the work on the fields, and to celebrate the harvest.

It is typical in Italy to spend this day by taking a picnic, at the seaside or in the mountains, with your family and friends.

It is a very happy day for us, even though sometimes, despite August is traditionally the hottest month of summer, some thunderstorms may happen.

Whatever the weather will be, it is going to be a great day!

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Why Sleeping Less than 6 Hours Is Not Good for Your Health

A few days ago, I came across an article on the Internet that recommended sleeping three consecutive hours and then taking three 20-minute naps throughout the day. This sleeping pattern was indicated as a model for obtaining success inspired by great world managers or businessmen, in particular they referred to Elon Musk.

As a person who has trouble with sleeping, I can tell you that science warns that too little sleep affects cognitive performance, behaviour and metabolism. With this strategy, you may be successful at the price of your health.

Sleeping is also productive. To get enough energy and focus to devote to work or another productive activity such as studying, you need to sleep at least 7 and half hours.

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One of the functions of sleep is to process and consolidate learning, focus and memory. Sleeping implies continuing to work, because the brain clears up the bombing of information accumulated during the day that is generally very intense due to the different sources available today. Our biology is prepared for short periods of sleeplessness in stressful or urgent situations.

Several studies have revealed that the habit of dedicating a few hours to sleep reduces cognitive performance, causes focusing deficit and loss of the ability to make decisions, as well as increases states of stress, anxiety and depression. Humans are ‘circadian animals’, programmed for 24-hour sleep-wake cycles. Sleeping for a few hours is a physiological assault on our body and, in particular, on the brain. If sleeping little is your choice, know that this alters the neuron-hormonal pattern which can cause:

1. emotional problems;

2. difficulty in acquiring new learning;

3. problems in storing new information;

4. increased nervousness and anxiety.

Thinking that sleeping is a waste of time is wrong because it has health consequences. Sleepiness and loss of focus are evident the next day, while other problems could arise in the long term, such as an increased risk of cancer, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, neurodegenerative disorders and metabolic disorders. Actually, sleeping for short time also increases appetite, with obvious consequences on your weight. Lack of sleep, in fact, leads to have frequent snack and drink sugary or caffeinated beverages.

Another important question is whether these negative health effects also occur when you wake up very early. Studies show that getting up too early does not necessarily cause alterations, as long as your sleep has been restorative enough. Remember that it is very important to complete five or six sleeping cycles every night (a sleep cycle lasts an average of 90 minutes).

What about you? Do you sleep enough to be productive?

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How and Why Yoga Helps You Maintain Physical and Mental Balance

Over the last few years, a very old practice has become the subject of scientific studies: yoga. Positive effects on the brain have begun to be measured, such as anti-stress and anti-depressant effects.

The studies began thanks to the spectacular spread of yoga. Millions of people practice yoga regularly. Positions (asanas) such as the warrior or the cobra are increasingly known among different people and age group. The reasons are mainly that persons want to learn how to relax, how to get rid of several kinds of pain (back, neck, shoulders, etc.) manage stress, and maintain good physical shape.

Traditional yoga (from the Sanskrit “yuga” which means “union”) comes from India and is a discipline more than five thousand years old. An important source of this spiritual school, which should guide us towards the divine, is a writing by Patañjali: Yoga Sutra, which contains the essential foundations of the discipline.

According to this essay, the purpose of yoga is to attain a higher form of self-knowledge, which can be achieved with inner contemplation. In addition to specific physical exercises, and breathing techniques, traditional yoga also includes meditation, a vegetarian diet and an entire philosophy of life. The modern and western form of yoga omits many of these elements. The development of strength and plasticity, meditation and breathing exercises play the most important role today.

At the beginning of the twentieth century, a small group of Indian yoga teachers began to spread the teachings of yoga in the Western world. After the explosion of fitness in the 1980s, which focused above all on the cult of the body, the spiritual part has been lost a little. Therefore, in the Western world mainly hatha yoga began to spread.

The effects of hatha yoga on health are: improving body consciousness and coordination, strengthening muscles and enhancing blood circulation. Moreover, yoga is also beneficial to stress management.

From experience, I can say that after a yoga session I feel relaxed and rested. It takes longer to reach a similar state with meditation, while hatha yoga produces effects immediately, probably thanks to the more marked physical component. It is actually proved that physical exercise is good for your spirit. Perhaps, this is why yoga is a fast-acting cure-all, as it associates physical exercise with meditative practice.

In fact, by associating postures (asanas) with breathing (pranayama), we act on the body by relaxing the muscles, and on the spirit because the sympathetic nervous system (the nervous system that is stimulated when we rest or sleep) is activated.

Yoga allows you to find calm despite the limits imposed by everyday life. With regular practice, even 5 minutes a day is enough, you will sleep better, your self-confidence will increase, as well as your ability to make decisions and manage stress.

Considering all those positive aspects, are you planning to start practising yoga?

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How and Why You Should Learn to Forget

Letting go of the burden of the past is important to your happiness.

Many people live in the past; they remember what they were, the love stories that did not go well, their failures and disappointments.

Such a burden takes away space and energy from the present, which is actually the only time you can live actively.

I read somewhere that happiness consists in enjoying good health and having a bad memory.

Actually, you should learn to let go of the past, forget about the insults received, the bad events and the mistakes, in short, all the bad memories, and learn to focus more on the present.

Here are some tips you could follow.

The best antidote to guilt, resentment, or anger that takes you back to the past is to devote energy to building the life you want.
Stop playing the victim and become an active protagonist of your life
Your memories change while time passes by, they may distort, and they do not really reflect what happened. Try asking a person who shared an event with you to tell you about their memory and then compare it with your memory. You will see that you and that person remember different aspects of the same fact.
Prioritize your well-being. Life is too short to spend arguing and complaining. What happened could be a source of stress and even discomfort. Continuing to feel anger at a past event drains up your energy. It is more important for your physical and mental health to live quietly than to be right at all costs.

The past, however, also brings with it good memories and lessons learned, which shape your personality.

Have a look at what Buddhism teaches: “Joy and happiness arise from letting go. Sit down and take an inventory of your life. There are things you have been hanging on to that really are not useful and deprive you of your freedom. Find the courage to let them go.”

What about you? Would you find the courage to let go of your past?

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How and Why You Should Listen to Your Body

In our times, we receive information from many sources: emails, social networks, television, people we know and colleagues. Our mind is over-stimulated for the duration of the day and this can cause stress and anxiety, which can also cause a real burn-out.

The excessive exposure to those information is detrimental to the activity of our body which is relegated to a mere container of organs that allow us to move (even if sometimes less than what we should).

Too many hours spent in front of the screen (mobile phone, computer or television) do not allow the body to tone up and therefore regenerate. During the pandemic, it has become even worse, because of the restrictions imposed to avoid the spreading of the virus. We could go out less often, or not at all.

Furthermore, it can happen that we ignore the pain from the body by using analgesics or other types of medicines to avoid feeling sick.

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If you do this, know that you are waging war to yourself, because silencing your body will not help you solve the problem.

Our body is sending us important signals that we will need to start considering. By continuing to ignore the messages it sends us, there may come a time when the pain becomes unbearable and it might be too late.

As soon as you hear a strange noise coming from your car, you take it to the mechanic before it breaks down. The same thing you should do with your body.

For example, if you experience often back pain, it means that you need to change your position, adopt a more adequate posture, maybe change chairs or just go for a walk.

Try to think that pain is actually your ally because it wants to tell you that there is something wrong with you and which you should take care of.

Let’s see four techniques that you can use every day to learn listening to your body.

Mental scanner. This is a mindfulness technique that involves mentally scanning of your body from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes to check if each part is healthy.

Daily walks. This is the best way to get up of your chair. Usually all mobile phones have an app to calculate steps. I signed up for a monthly “race” with colleagues to take at least 6,000 steps a day. At the end of the race, there will be an award for the walker who has taken the most steps. Run a race with your friends or colleagues too!

Feeding your body and mind. The Japanese eat up to 80% of their hunger in order not to get heavy (this is a principle of Ikigai). Therefore, eat less but eat healthy, and sleep at least six hours a night so that your body and mind can do a complete “reset”.

Respect the messenger. Instead of taking medicines at the first symptom of discomfort or pain, try listening to your body, what it is communicating to you. Think that your body needs to be considered and looked after. Don’t wait for your body to ask you for help when you are in extreme pain, as remember that it might be too late.

When you don’t feel well, what do you do? Do you listen to your body or you take medications?

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How Our Idea of Life in the City Has Changed During the Pandemic

Covid has radically changed our way of life in the city. Consequently, also our relationship with the city has changed.

If you were willing to pay more for a down-town rent or to buy a small apartment to live in the city, would you do the same today?

Data on home purchases in Belgium show that people during the pandemic wanted to buy or rent properties in the countryside, where homes are cheaper and bigger. Nature is a source of energy that can help us in difficult times such as those of Covid.

If being able to have a quick aperitif after work, to go out for dinner in the evening without having to travel too many kilometres, or going to the cinema or a concert, justified the fact of living in small apartments, where you are exposed to not always easy coexistence with the neighbours and outside noise and traffic, is this still the case now?

Cities during the pandemic have turned into places to mainly work and sleep. Maybe you started asking yourself, what kind of life is it?

If you were able to go to work during the pandemic, didn’t you have the impression of living in the office? If, on the other hand, you have always worked from remote, don’t you think that you have been experiencing difficulty in finding work-life balance?

With the rules of lockdown even using public transport was a problem, due to the fear of contagion. We started to do shopping close to home.

Staying at home all the time and respecting the rules of lockdown have caused spreading of anxiety in a worrying way. In fact, it has been proven that living in the city makes you feel more isolated, even if the opposite would seem to be true.

For a long time we have been deprived of our need and desire for sociability, our walks have been reduced to the tour of the neighbourhood to fulfil our daily commitment to take 6000 steps or not to forget the challenge of staying healthy despite everything.

Things as common as eating with friends or colleagues, going to the cinema or shopping, have turned into extraordinary things.

Is that why living in the countryside has perhaps become more popular? Would spending less on a house with a garden and nature nearby make you change your mind about living in the city?

How and Why You Need to Learn to Take Better Care of Yourself

The education we have received has taught us that we must treat well the others. But why the others and not ourselves?

Are you your own worst critic? Do you sometimes insult yourself for something you did wrong or wanted to do better? Do you eat poorly, sleep little, abuse of harmful substances (alcohol, tobacco)? Or are you simply worried about pleasing others? Know that you are not alone. This is a common problem and normal to a certain extent. Because of this, it would be useful to pay attention to some daily details to learn how to look better after yourself.

As I was saying before, we have not been taught to take good care of ourselves. We put often aside our well-being. How many times have your parents told you to look well after the others or do things for the others? How many times, on the other hands, have you been told that you must also take care of yourself?

The way you look after yourselves is a kind of extension of what you have learned from your parents, teachers or caregivers.

For a very young person this may seem exaggerated, as some basic principles of self-esteem are taught in schools today. Some parents also try to instil some self-care virtues in their children.

However, for an adult or elderly person, taking care of themselves well and being truly respectful of themselves is not always something they have consciously internalized. In the past, it was not so easy to find someone who could help you cultivate a certain self-love without it being considered selfish.

In fact, this is precisely the basis: self-love, not to be confused with narcissism or egocentrism. To better understand this concept, we can first imagine what we do when we really love someone: we seek their happiness, we help them, we try to make them feel good, and we accept them as they are, with all their imperfections and qualities. Actually, looking well after yourself means really accepting yourself for who you are.

Becoming kind towards yourself, means understand yourself, especially when you face failures and mistakes.

That attitude can be a great ally. You can challenge yourselves in a healthy way, taking into account your possibilities, your desires, and not the desires that others have for you.

The use of language is very important to achieve the goal of taking good care of yourself. It is common, and to some extent normal, that on some occasions you speak “badly” to yourself, you do it unconsciously. You cannot talk to yourself always in a loving way, as you could enter into toxic positivity (when a positive attitude is used to mask negative emotions, namely pretending that all is well when it is not).

However, you must not use words that hurt yourself. Nobody insults those who truly love, right? Talking to yourself and thinking badly about some personal aspects (physical or mental), and constantly reiterating it, can in the end make you really believe it.

Taking care of yourself is essential. This implies developing a healthier and more suitable lifestyle. Sleeping and resting enough hours, for example, as well as eating well based on our weight, age and lifestyle, not abusing alcohol or tobacco, are all ways to take care of yourself. Taking time to relax, reconnect with what you really like to do, keep your hobbies, follow your passions and interact with people who bring you something positive in your life means being respectful of yourself.

What about you? Do you take good care of yourself?

How and Why to Prevent a Recurring Thought from Turning into an Obsession.

You have thought – and rethought – if you locked the door when you went out? Are you on the street and you wonder if you turned off the light; or the gas? This is not as serious as it looks like. Moreover, you are not the only person it happens to. The thoughts that come to your mind are normal; they are not obsessions … yet.

Thoughts don’t turn into obsession overnight. At first, they are imperceptible, then they grow, but they don’t seem so serious to you; when you start having problems at work, in the family, with friends, you may have developed an obsession. Recognizing the degree of frequency and intensity is crucial to avoid that one of your recurring thoughts starts to be harmful.

If you don’t get major problems in your daily life, you can let your recurring thoughts flow and unlock them with relaxation techniques, and by becoming aware of their cause.

Imagine a grandmother lighting a candle in the Church so that her grandson succeeds the exam. Or the songs you hum in your brain and can’t get rid of them. Or the cultures that pray to get some rain. They are examples of small obsessions that do not harm anyone or give problems in everyday life. Therefore, in similar cases, you do not need to take actions.

However, there are other kinds of thoughts that trap the mind in a vicious circuit and catch your attention very often. They are called OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

There are some tricks you can use to keep them under control.

Let’s see some of them.

If, for example, you wash your hands too often, try to actually count how many times you’ve washed them. Then, think about the absurdity of doing it so often because washing your hands well once should be enough, and doing it twice should reassure you that they are really clean.

If your fear is to get infected on the public transport, because you touch knobs, bars, doors, use gloves every time you take them or take a hydro-alcoholic gel with you to be used as soon as you get off (very useful also during Covid times).

The important thing is to be able to rationalize your recurring thoughts and find solutions to control them. If you really cannot manage to do it, however, you should consult a professional (doctor, psychologist, coach) who can help you keep your thoughts from becoming obsessions.

Also be aware that genetics can be a cause of your recurring thoughts. If you are very emotional and have difficulty controlling your impulses, you are somewhat predisposed. Exposure to obsessive models in the family, which transmit the values of order, norms, not making mistakes, can also be a cause. Highly demanding, perfectionist, rigid, excessively ordered, inflexible and reluctant to delegate tasks personalities are also more prone to developing OCD.

Recurring thoughts are normal until they become fixations. In addition, remember that most of the things that worry us never happen. Try to notice it and let me know.