Change – Pagina 2 – Crisbie Coach

Why Unplugging Your Mind Is Important to Find Yourself

When e-mails, text messages, conference calls, Webex, Whatspp, FB, Instagram, Tweeter, Google and anything else from your partner to your boss invade your lives, it becomes necessary for your survival to stop for a while and be silent. That’s why unplugging your mind is crucial.

Our always connected minds take us away from the best of ourselves and our creative potential.

Referring constantly to what one or the other has said, we forget to connect to our essential being, which is unique and precious.

We have become individuals driven by technological change that moved away from ourselves, from our awareness of being human, from the first component of Emotional Intelligence (EI). EI is recognized today as a condition of success in a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous (VUCA) world, as it is the one we live in today.

Refocusing, looking inside, listening to silence and our inner voice. In the depths of ourselves we find an enormous amount of resources and our most authentic creativity: it is our treasure, a unique, rich and colorful, magical place where everything is open and possible.

In this space, we can find synchronicity, messages and insights that will enable us to make the right decisions for our lives. Real relationships can arise, authentic relationships between sincere people who are now masked by the ego that continues to rule us.

What to do then?

Give yourself moments of silence! Be for a while without your mobile phone. Go out for a walk without it, walk with no direction in nature and feel, look, listen, use all your senses to the maximum.

Be present in this unique moment and let yourself be pervaded by the harmony that surrounds you.

Practice your favorite hobby, and if you do not have it, think about finding one. Quietly cooking at home, knitting, painting, drawing, gardening and all the other activities that you may be passionate about.

Stop for a moment and stop moving from one activity to another, from one piece of information to another. Your brain can not take it anymore, it also needs a rest. Give yourself time to deepen the reasons for your choices and discover the reason for your being, your purpose.

People feel lost. Most probably they are really lost: they have disconnected from themselves to live in connection with the social networks.

Therefore, unplugging your mind is very important for your wellbeing. Learn to find some space for yourself and your deeper needs. And live your life fully. You deserve it!

How to Keep Your Resolutions

Today is the first of January and many of us have decided about their resolutions for 2023, or are about to do so. The new year brings the desire for a change, the need for renewal. We would like to spend more time with our family, to take that trip that we have been dreaming about for so long, to change our job, to enrol in a gym club, to lose weight, to stop smoking…the main goal is feeling better with ourselves and with others.

Why does it happen then that along the way we forget about our resolutions or we abandon them?

Here are some questions you should ask yourself.

Are your resolutions too ambitious, vague or simply they are too many? In this case you are putting too much pressure on yourself. If you have decided to stop smoking or to lose 10 kilos, you must ask yourself why you have started smoking and why you are always hungry. Are they ways for relieving the daily tensions?

Are you positive in comparison to the achievement of your resolutions? If you think that you will never make it, it is sure that you will never make it. Henry Ford used to say: “If you believe you can make it or if you believe you cannot make it, you will always be right”.

Are your resolutions appealing? You have decided to lose weight or to stop smoking. As such, they are great objectives. But find a bigger reason for which you want to achieve these objectives. For instance, you want to stop smoking to be able to recover breath faster when you go jogging or you want to lose weight to put on those beautiful pants that suited you very well.

Bad habits are difficult to lose, above all you need time. If you have been sticking to them for years, you have your good reasons (to protect yourself from stress, for example). You cannot change your habits in some weeks. Some time ago, studies stated that you could take up a new habit in 21 days. Now, neuroscience has found out that you need at least 60 days! Take your time then, establish a new habit with calmness, don’t stretch your body too far, your body is comfortably used to the old habit and it doesn’t feel like changing it. You must make it understand, day after day, that another way is possible and it is also healthier!

Besides, remember that the path won’t always be linear and you may find obstacles. There will be some easy moments and some difficult ones but losing a battle doesn’t mean losing the war. Accept the ups and downs: your body will learn to adapt slowly.

Choose an objective that won’t sound like an obligation, in the sense that it must represent a real choice, a thing that you want to do, not that you must do. Control your thoughts, remember what Henry Ford said. Don’t focus on what you still have to achieve, but celebrate what you have already achieved. List the small victories and congratulate yourself. Stay positive!

Think about the strength that a seed has to become grass. It must come out from the soil to be able to live and flourish. It works slowly under the soil, up to when one day it comes out and sees the light! For you it is kind of the same thing. Work slowly and one day you will see the results, because you are stronger than you think.

And now four tips:

1. set one objective at the time, but define it well, use the SMART model (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time bound). Even though this model has been created for organisations, it may be helpful also to individuals engaged in goal setting.

2. Adopt the strategy of small steps by dividing your objective into smaller objectives.

3. Celebrate achievements: the first kilo you have lost, the first whole day without smoking. Put some post-it all over your place with your success on it. Tell yourself “Well done!”.

4. Inform your family and friends about your goals and ask them to help you with this. Getting their support will help you in achieving the results. Look for some groups on Facebook that share your same goals, and participate in forums on the Internet. Remember that you are not alone, there are other thousands of people that may have your same goals and exchanging ideas with them can be helpful to you. You can create a blog that can become your journal (a journal on paper is also okay).

I wish you a successful 2023!

5 Tips for Replacing Wrapping Paper

smiling ethnic artisan with textile and poles showing shibori technique

Why don’t you get rid of wrapping paper this year for your Christmas gifts? Try another fun and creative way of packaging and make the surprise all the greater. Here are 5 tips that will help you to replace wrapping paper.

1. Tote and handmade bags

There is something for everyone, in all colours and tastes: fabric bags are now available in many stores. They can be offered with the gift, which provides that little extra.

Another good idea: make your own gift-wrapping paper with nicely selected fabrics or scraps, which could be used again. Need help? There are certainly workshops for making bags in your area.

2. Furoshiki

Furoshiki is a Japanese art form. Take a square piece of fabric and fold it in countless ways into a gift box, bag, bottle holder… For example, use a scarf that you still have in the cupboard or a specially selected piece of textile.

You can then unpack the gift for the one who receives it. That makes an even bigger surprise because we are not used to packaging like that. You can of course choose to reuse or keep the Furoshiki.

3. Boxes and jars

You can buy a beautiful wooden box that can be reused, or a beautiful iron box that serves as a second storage or decorative gift.

And recycling is also a must: use boxes (of cake, chocolates or shoes), pots and glass jars in all shapes and sizes. A raffia ribbon, a lick of paint or a beautiful label immediately give the gift a personal touch.

4. Recycled paper or fabric

Newspapers, posters, magazines, drawings, old cards or comics that are too damaged… will always be original! It will not be zero waste, but it will be reused.

A pillowcase that you don’t like or the one that you don’t use any longer and it is stored in the cupboard, a paper sheet that is waiting for a second life, a T-shirt with worn edges,…: with some cutting, buttons and other adjustments, you will make a surprise effect.

5. Bags or socks under the chimney

A large bag, a decorated box that was used before for biscuits, a wooden box,… You can put all the gifts in it, and make a surprise to your kids.

You can put small gifts in socks, specially bought for the occasion or taken from your wardrobe because you don’t use them any longer.

What do you think about these tips? Are you ready to reduce your waste?

This article has been previously published on City of Brussels.

Appreciating the Differences

close up photo of different coloring wooden pencils

This story tells us why we should appreciate the differences to build up collective intelligence.

Alone we go faster, together we go further – African proverb

An Indian story tells us about the discovery of an elephant by six blind people.

Each of them touching only a part of the elephant described it differently depending on where they had touched the animal. So, one compared it to a wall, another said a spear, another a snake, or a tree, a fan, or a rope.

They began to argue about what they had felt by touching the elephant. The discussion became very animated because each of them wanted to be right.

A wise man passed by and heard them arguing. Then, he approached them and with a smile said: “The elephant has all the traits that you have described, because you have touched only one part of the animal. That’s why you describe it differently.”

This story explains well that it is quite inappropriate to be sure that we are right because reality always exceeds our personal visions, our context based on a unique path and limiting beliefs.

Differences when they become obstacles take away the opportunity to broaden our consciousness and enrich collective intelligence, where 1 + 1 equals 3.

Therefore, considering an ally the one who thinks differently rather than an enemy or a rival, would not lead us to add up our different approaches but we will reach new solutions, which would exceed the individual contribution of each of us.

Once again, common sense invites us to be tolerant rather than judgmental, because to judge means to separate but, as the African proverb says, “Alone we go faster, together we go further”.

What do you think about this story?

Why You Shouldn’t Tell This to Depressed People

woman placing her finger between her lips

Whether you went through depression or have a loved one who suffers from it, we all know that depression is not easy to live with. And what makes the situation worse is often the feeling that people around us don’t understand our being unwell and try to minimize the importance of this disorder.

I explained it in my last post on Wise&Shine last week.

Therefore, I would like to list here some phrases that you shouldn’t tell to depressed people:

1. “Focus on getting better.” We tend to forget that the state of depression affects us physically and psychologically. It is not enough to get out of bed, get some fresh air and take a walk to get rid of it. If this were the case, depressives would be the first ones to do so, without your advice, because it is very likely that they want to get out of this state.

2.”It will be better tomorrow.” This phrase could worsen the condition of the depressed person. They may expect to get better the next day, but depression cannot be treated overnight.

3.”Just be happy” For a depressed person, being happy is inconceivable because their disorder alters the image they have of reality. Talking to them about happiness will not improve their disorder, on the contrary. You cannot talk to them about things they are unable to do and sometimes even understand.

4. “It’s your fault.” Often, when something negative happens to our life, we imagine that it is our fault, and that we deserve it. This kind of approach can aggravate the situation of the depressive person.

5. “Don’t be so negative.” Negativity is part of how depressive people see life. It doesn’t make sense to tell them something like this. Most probably they will not understand.

6.”Stop complaining, there are people who have a more terrible life.” This is what I hate the most. It’s not by comparing to some other people that a depressed person would feel better. Being unable to get out of their depression, they would feel even more guilty and miserable for being unwell when they see that terrible things are happening around them. Depressives have very low self-esteem, and this kind of sentence will only increase their self-hatred.

Remember that we all may face difficult times in life. Try to be compassionate with anyone who is suffering also making a good use of your words.

What about you? Do you feel compassionate when someone is suffering?

Why Reading Makes You a Better Person

I want to share a story with you on why reading makes you a better person.

“I’ve read a lot of books, but I’ve forgotten most of them. So what is the purpose of reading?”

This was the question that a pupil once asked his Master.

The Master at that moment did not answer.

After a few days, however, while he and the young pupil were sitting by a river, he said he was thirsty and asked the boy to get him water using an old bucket all dirty that was there on the ground.

The pupil flinched, as he knew it was a request without any logic.

However, he could not contradict his Master, and taking the bucket, he began to accomplish this absurd task. Every time he immersed the bucket in the river to pull up water to take to his Master, he could not take even one single step towards him that the bucket was empty.

He tried and tried again dozens of times, but no matter how hard he tried to run faster from the shore to his Master, the water kept passing through all the holes in the bucket and got lost along the way.

Exhausted, he sat down beside the Master and said:

“I can’t catch water with that bucket. Forgive me Master, it is impossible and I have failed in my task.”

“No,” replied the old man, smiling, “you didn’t fail. Look at the bucket now. Thanks to the water that filtered from the holes, it’s clean and looks new.”

“When you read books,” continued the old Master, “you are like that bucket, and the books are like the water of the river.”

“It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember all the books you read. The books with their ideas, emotions, feelings, and knowledge, that you will find among the pages, will cleanse your mind and your spirit, and make you a better and renewed person. That’s the purpose of reading.”

What about you? Do you think that reading would make you a better person, and that it will also improve the quality of your life?

The Myth of Sisyphus

The stories of mythology, like the Myth of Sisyphus, allow us to understand universal intellectual concepts. The myth of Sisyphus is part of it because it is the story of a man punished by the gods, condemned to roll a huge rock to the top of a mountain. However, once he reaches his goal, he falls back and serves his sentence perpetuating this cycle of the absurd.

Why does Sisyphus have to push a boulder from the base to the top of a mountain but every time it reaches the top, the boulder then rolls back to the base of the mountain, and this for eternity?

Guilty of numerous misdeeds but above all of having repeatedly deceived Zeus, Sisyphus is locked up in Hades and condemned to an eternal effort. He shall transport a boulder over a mountain that inexorably falls down as soon as it touches the top.

In fact, Sisyphus’ punishment will end up becoming the symbol of any useless action, destined to be thwarted as soon as it is accomplished.

Moreover, the allegory of the Sisyphus myth can also illustrate the condition of men blinded by their own stubbornness. Persuaded to act correctly, they can sometimes close themselves in an endless spiral that will eventually condemn them.

Therefore, when we are blind to the lessons that life teaches us, we can be our own obstacle to change.

However, mistakes often offer us opportunities “A person who does not fail has never tried anything new”. This quote from scientist Albert Einstein perfectly expresses the indispensable nature of these vectors of change.

On the other hand, these “negative attitudes” are exactly what we need at a point in time before we realize that this state of mind no longer suits us.

In addition, we shall start questioning ourselves, to be able to make the adjustments that may help us meet our expectations.

When we become aware that our mistakes are not obstacles but opportunities to learn, then we start the path towards the achievement of the dreams of our life. We open our eyes and grow.

Moreover, this is what leads us to enter within our true self and its never-ending mutations. Pushing ourselves into its entrenchments and the emotions they provoke in us allows us to access our real state of existence and we move away from our old habits.

What is the main obstacle in your life towards towards the achievement of your dreams?

Cultivating Trust in Life

red and green tree leaves on a sunny day

In life it happens sometimes that the difficulties are transformed into problems and that the efforts necessary to solve the complexities that life presents to us are important and sometimes last a long time. Sometimes we feel discouraged, and we feel like saying “Enough, I can’t take it any longer, when will it end?”. That’s how we lose trust in life.

Those who know the universal law of alternation continue to have confidence in life, whatever happens because they know that everything is change, renewal and impermanence. They were able to observe that an expansion necessarily follows a contraction and that after dark the light returns. They are aware that one day things will change, and that life will make them smile again.

The guides who accompany the great expeditions in Kilimanjaro, one of the highest mountains in the world, use a Swahili expression to comfort fatigued walkers: “Polé, polé”, which means “slowly, slowly, one step at a time”.

Without interpreting what happens to us or projecting ourselves into a future that we do not know, we are left with only the concrete possibility of welcoming our moments of misfortune, without resisting them, because all the efforts will only cause loss of energy.

So, go ahead, keep on with trust in life, and slowly, slowly, one step at a time, you will find the light at the end of the tunnel.

You can find more articles on trust here.

brown brick tunnel — Light – Photo by Ksenia I on Pexels.com

A Little Mouse in a Jar

This is a short story of a little mouse who does not want to leave his box.

The box represents your comfort zone. From this story you will understand why you should try to leave your comfort zone.

When a little mouse is in a box full of rice, he thinks life is fun and enjoyable because he has enough food.

Then he will stay in this box and enjoy it until the rice is finished.

One day, however, when the box is empty, the mouse will see that he has been trapped and will no longer be able to get out of that box.

As long as you have the strength, motivation, and health to do so, you can always take risks to try to improve your life.

Do this instead of choosing to stay in your illusory comfort zone.

When you decide to step up and leave your comfort zone, you will discover a completely different and more interesting life.

Also remember that every long journey begins with a first step (Lao Tzu).

Becoming Older, Becoming Wiser

Becoming older means also becoming wiser. You realize what really matters in your life, what you privilege and who you choose to spend your time with.

Priority goes to what really matters in your life

During your youth, you felt almost always excited and you believed that the world was in your hands. You thought you had all the time ahead to realize and live your dreams. Becoming older makes you understand that time is limited and therefore precious.

Because of that, you want to enjoy every minute and every second with what is essential for you. Going out in the evening and getting home very late (or also very early the day after), nights spent drinking, dancing until your feet would hurt, no longer interest you. What matters is enjoying the time spent with your family, dedicating them qualitative time, that is time of exchange, time that counts and that is not forgotten. You realize that time flies, so you want to favour the present moment. Looking at photos together, savouring the small magical moments of hugs, or playing with your children are moments of unforgettable happiness.

Avoiding self-righteous people

Hypocrisy is no longer part of your life as an adult (at least it should be). Sincerity is what you are looking for. Instead of uttering an uninteresting sentence to someone you barely know or don’t particularly like, you’d rather be sincere, kind but sincere. At the same time, you will be attracted to people who are honest in their gestures, words and actions; people who bring a positive note to your life.

Respecting the lives of others.

Time and experience are great teachers when it comes to knowing oneself and the others. Wisdom teaches you to turn away from the problems and conflicts that don’t concern you, so as to avoid getting involved with bad energy. Therefore, respecting the lives of others becomes a fundamental principle.

Restricting your circle of friends

By ageing, the idea of making new friends doesn’t interest you any longer. Your priorities are more related to your family. You seek good friends rather than many friends. You try to build healthy relationships and you want to avoid toxic people.

Becoming older means crossing many paths with pitfalls. However, the difficulties that life presented you, allowed you to become stronger, more determined and wiser.

You have learned to know the difference between a person who is harmful to your well-being and a person full of positive energy who brings you joy and good mood.

Which other advantages would you see in becoming older?