Well-being – Pagina 3 – Crisbie Coach

Coping with Cabin Fever

A few days ago, listening to the news updating on the Covid-19 outbreak in Belgium, I heard that they were talking about the Cabin Fever. Since what they were saying sounded familiar to me, I decided to do some research. Having spent 9 weeks at home, without going to work and without seeing people other than my family, I must admit that I also felt something strange. I don’t feel like going back to a so-called normal life (then I should also know what it is the meaning of this normal life and see if I like it).

Actually, I don’t want to go back to work, I mean to my office premises, as I have been tele-working very well since the beginning of the crisis. It wasn’t clear to me why, so I decided to try to find it out and I drove nearby my office place. I found out with great relief that I did not feel anything in particular, neither stress nor anxiety, or fear.

However, this did not change my wish to continue teleworking.

What is it about?

The Cabin Fever is a syndrome that you may develop as a reaction to being isolated or confined for an extended period of time. It is not a real mental disorder, but it is associated with a particular condition linked to a long period of being lockdown, such as a disease, or a pathological condition, or in the case that we have been just experiencing, with the Coronavirus pandemic. We can feel anxiety, insecurity, fear of the future and of those we don’t know. You don’t want to leave your own place and only there you feel safe.

This syndrome, first described in the early twentieth century, is not fully recognised at a scientific level because there are not enough literature and case studies. At the time, they referred to people who, for example, worked in the high mountains and spent a lot of time within their home. It was discovered that these people found it difficult to go out, because they felt that they could not control the external space. This may also happen to prisoners when they go out of prison (that is why it is also called prisoner syndrome). You may feel infinitely small in front of a big world, out of your reach.

What to do then?

We spent about two months locked in our apartment or house, worried about the spread of the virus, fearing of ourselves getting sick, fearing that one of our loved ones would get sick and fearing of losing our job.

The media have also played a bit with our fears: put on the mask when you go out (but there were no masks available), don’t touch anything when you’re out if you don’t have disposable gloves (also unavailable on the market), above all do not touch your face (do you know how many times are we tempted to touch our face in an hour? On average 60 times, that is once a minute. Try to pay attention to it). It doesn’t matter then if on the street you see people wearing the mask in an absolutely inappropriate way which could also be more harmful than useful (wearing the mask around the neck, putting it on and taking it off maybe with unwashed hands, leaving the nose uncovered – I know it is difficult to breathe with something on your nose and mouth).

And now that, all of a sudden, they tell us that we can get out, we wonder if the danger has really passed. Our mind is still focused on everything that has just happened and it is normal to think that there may be a situation of danger and / or insecurity outside (think only if you have to use public transport for example).

Now, however, it is time to plan the future, calmly. Did you appreciate the quietness found during the time spent at home? I have appreciated it very much and I would like teleworking from home to become a regular working pattern. I wish that we could choose to stay at home to tele-work (it is obvious that it is not a possible option for all types of job, but big companies like Twitter have already adopted this policy and have decided that only those who want will go back to their office). I list only some of the advantages that this choice entails: your ecological footprint will decrease, your quality of life will improve because you find yourself with “freed” time, for example from avoiding the journey home-work-home. This time could be dedicated to your well-being.

Then you can arrange a meeting with some (a few) friends and pay a visit to your family (though without being able to hug each other yet).

A few days ago it has been announced that from June 3 we can return to Italy without having to spend 14 days in quarantine. So, we can start planning vacations. You could start too.

What you shouldn’t do is listening obsessively and compulsively (transforming or even adding obsessive-compulsive disorder – OCD – to the Cabin Fever) the continuous updates on new infections, number of deaths, and the news coming from other continents. Don’t watch catastrophic movies, they don’t help you but rather will increase your anxiety. Then, try to think positive, because as the law of attraction teaches you, if you think negative then what happens to you will be negative. Also be aware that most of the bad things you think won’t happen, and that’s statistics.

Above all, try to be courageous, patient and safe: step by step the world will start to turn again, more or less well, but I hope better than before.

However, if you experience a sense of terrible anxiety, a malaise that paralyses you and you feel like being surrounded by flames, or by monsters, or by dangerous animals, you should go to a professional, such as a psychologist for example, if you don’t want this syndrome to turn into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Work-Life Balance

Our well-being should be our priority. But nowadays the society we live in often puts pressure on us so that we reverse priorities in a way that can seriously compromise our quality of life and our physical, mental and emotional health.

According to the international classification of diseases, burn-out is considered to be a work-related phenomenon but this is not the only cause.

With the increasing cost of living and the bills that accumulate, we are increasingly inclined to work harder and harder to earn a salary that allows us to live a decent life. However, this leads us to put aside other fundamental needs.

We spend many hours a day working for a company, or for ourselves, reducing the time for good meals, for resting, for spending time with our family and we do not understand the impact this can have on our life.

Certainly, many among us cannot afford to work less because they are responsible for their family and they shall provide for their needs.

However, even in such cases, a work-life balance should be found, because life is much more than our work.

The excessive time spent at work and the short time dedicated to ourselves practicing sports, walking in a forest or simply being lazy, in the long run will harm our health up to a level that it would be difficult to recover.

More and more often people suffer from post-traumatic stress, over-fatigue, nutrition problems, relationship difficulties due to exhausting and stressful days spent at work that do not leave us time to live and do activities that really make us happy.

If you think you are in this situation, you should understand one thing: no salary is worth your health, no benefit rewards you for the wear and tear you have at the end of a working day that has drained off your energy and your joy of living.

If you currently have no other choice than continuing with your present work, try to do something that is good for you every day to find your work-life balance. If everything you do daily is stressful and exhausting, the time will come when you won’t be able to go on any longer and the consequences will be more serious. It will take you longer to regain your optimal well-being.

Work is an important part of life but of course life is not just work. As you know, there is more: family, friends, health, in short, enjoying life. Don’t let work be your whole life!

Nothing is worth your being unhappy. Your work will continue even without you, while relationships and health must be taken care of, and followed up carefully.

You can find another job, but you cannot replace your family, your friends and above all your health. Remember to take care of yourself in order to live a better life.

4 Tips for Your Wellbeing

Here you go with four tips to kick off the new decade that has just started:

1. Learn to say no: to assert yourself is first of all to respect your own values and to listen to your own needs. While managing your priorities in your private and professional life you become more productive/a but also more available. The result is that there is little time left for what really matters to you.

2. Have more fun: a healthy lifestyle includes healthy eating and also trying to limit sedentary life. What if we put together the useful and the enjoyable? If you want to move, take a nice walk or go dancing!

3. Smile more often: getting angry or criticising? What a waste of time! Do you know that for every minute of anger you spend energy that you will recover in an hour? Cultivate your happiness by relativizing what happens to you and taking advantage of what life offers. Let’s try with an exercise: write on a piece of paper three positive things that happened to you or that you liked each day. Put the paper in a jar and, when you’re down, pick up one and read it again to remind yourself of pleasant memories. How do you like it?

4. Take advantage of the silence: in a very noisy world that constantly urges us to do things, it is important to disconnect by getting rid of the noisesthat surrounds us. Program some moments of digital detox to take advantage of the silence by walking in the woods, taking a a siesta during the work break or enjoying a meditation session. Everything will be all right!

9 Reasons to Practise Mindfulness

Today we speak a lot about Mindfulness. Do we really know what it is and why it is useful?

Let’s start with a small definition. Mindfulness is a mental training that makes you aware of your actions and bring focus on what you are doing in the present moment. It is a concept taken from Buddhism but it has lost the religious component and it is not limited to meditation, though meditation is part of Mindfulness.

Today’s life is sometime difficult and often very busy. We find ourselves more and more exhausted and breathless. Our mind is forced to focus on several tasks at the same time (the so called multitasking), at the expenses of our mental and physical well-being.

Practising Mindfulness helps us for sure with finding a bit of quietness and copying with events’ life differently, both in the work environment and at personal level. Mindfulness helps us with finding our own human and spiritual intimacy.

Practising regularly Mindfulness has a positive effect on stress and anxiety and it also helps us in developing useful mental skills that build capacity for:

Focus
Mental Clarity and Agility
Collaboration
Creativity and Innovation
Emotional Intelligence
Empathy and Compassion
Resilience
Happiness
Overall Well-Being.

Try a simple exercise: eat slowly a fruit, trying to taste it fully, to understand the consistency and find out the feelings it gives you. If you eat like that once a day, you will be on the good path for being mindful!

Summer Quotation (4)

In your life there are people that you can let go, that you can take the risk of loosing because they bring you mainly negativity.

On the other hand, there are people in your life that you cannot let go, as they bring you love, respect, well-being and support. They are the light of your life. Don’t let them go!

5 Skills to Develop to Get Motivation at Work

“How’s at work?” it is a question that is often asked to us by our loved ones and when we answer, we probably think about the difficulties we face or the discomfort/distress we feel towards our work.

If this is your case, don’t worry because you are not alone.

The work environment has changed a lot in recent years and has become a source of stress and anxiety. Lack of future objectives, frequent changes within the organisation with consequent change of bosses, external and internal competition, digitalisation that transforms working methods and requires the acquisition of new skills, managers who sometimes are incompetent but under pressure for corporate objectives, excessive workload and stress can cause toxic behaviours.

People look for motivation at work. Autonomy, mastery and purpose are part of it.

You know what I think about happiness at work, but we can try to develop these 5 skills to feel better at work and find our own motivation.

Accept imperfection: your own, the one of others and the one of the environment. Perfectionism is an important source of our suffering. Being 100% consistent, rejecting your own failures, setting too ambitious goals, all this may lead to a situation of permanent dissatisfaction. A step towards serenity would be accepting the obstacles of everyday life, making choices and compromises, asking what would be the best future path rather than thinking about what could have been (post-occupations, or being worried about something that has already happened and that obviously we cannot change or influence).
Stimulate your own initiative and your ability to act. At work we can decide to be pro-active or reactive. The reactive person is affected by what happens around her and lets herself be guided by the signals of the environment, both negative and positive. The pro-active person takes the initiative and chooses how to respond to the events. Faced with a difficulty, the reactive person will say “I can’t do anything about it” while the pro-active one will say “let’s see what options we have”. For the reactive person, “they” have the last word, while the pro-active one is the one who decides. Developing your own pro-activity means being inclined to action and putting your creativity, intelligence and energy at the service of what you can do here and now.
Strengthen your self-esteem. We are the first responsible of ourselves and the first sponsors of our well-being. This may seem obvious, but it is essential to feel good about yourself, love yourself, listen to your needs (both body and spirit) and try to satisfy them. It is also important to respect yourself in spite of your own defects, fragilities and imperfections, to appreciate and recognise your own values and qualities, to celebrate successes and achievements. Furthermore, in difficult situations, it is essential to protect yourself, to know how to say no, and to communicate your limits, so not to put yourself in danger.
Develop empathy and learn to communicate effectively with others. Most of our difficulties at work are related to others. Whether they are leaders, colleagues, customers or suppliers, the relationship with the others can be a source of frustration and sometimes of real suffering. In order for this relationship to become healthier, more effective and more serene, empathy may be developed. First of all, we have to respect others and avoid judging them. We do not know them, they may have the same or even more serious problems than us. Then try to get in touch with the person in front of you by understanding her experience, her feelings, her needs but at the same time trying to identify the points in common with her. Communicate sincerely also your emotions, and your needs while maintaining an open mind and attitude towards the person.
Cultivate a learning attitude and practise the ability to learn. To face the unexpected and the difficulties that life presents us, it is essential to always learn. The attitude of the person who wants to learn consists in accepting that the learning path always goes through a phase of incompetence and confusion. Before mastering a subject or finding a solution to a problem, it is normal to feel lost in uncertainty and doubt. Therefore, we have learn to manage these moments as calmly as possible. Let us remember that we learn from our mistakes. A failure is not a decision or a judgment, but rather a result, an answer to an attempt we have made. From this unexpected result, we can learn lessons that will serve as a basis for making other attempts that will then lead to the solution of our problem. Let us also remember that we can learn from everyone else and that it is important to accept feedback to improve. Do not hesitate to question yourself, and try to find important or useful information from the exchange with others. The person prone to learning considers all experiences as an opportunity for personal growth, ultimately for their evolution.

Happiness at Work

Who is happy at work? If you would win € 10 million, would you keep going to work? Not me. I don’t think I would stop working in the sense that I would stop doing any activity, but I would no longer do the work I am doing now. I would dedicate myself to one of my passions, for example travelling. I would also volunteer, I would continue to write this blog and go to Pilates.

In short, I would more or less continue to live the life I am living now without doing the same job and without feeling obliged to earn enough to make my living. This is actually the core issue: in most of the cases we work to support ourselves and our families and not because we like it. So talking about happiness at work is an exaggeration, at least in some cases. Ask an underpaid worker who works on the assembly line if they are happy to go to work. Or to a teacher harassed by the students if their job motivates them. Or a nurse doing stressful night shifts, if they’d rather stay at home to sleep.

The concept of happiness at work seems to me a bit forced, yet a lot of people talk about it, without considering that a large number of employees do not like the work they do but have no other choice, especially in economic downturn such as the current one (at least in Europe). It seems to me a bit like a race towards a goal that cannot be achieved.

Then let’s look at the increase of the cases of burn-out. In Europe, France holds the record with their 10% of active population suffering from burn-out. Is it better in other European countries? Actually, the key question to ask would be if there is a good balance between private life and working life. People are better where Governments implement policies to balance work with life.

The problem of work is therefore the space it occupies in our lives. Attention, space not time. Space means not only the time actually spent at the workplace, but also the time spent thinking about work, the famous work that you take home and that disturbs our private life.

What to do then to change this constant thought that we have towards work?

Have a look at the techniques described in the following posts:

5 Tips to Start The Day Anxiety-Free

5 Reasons Why Hiking Is Good for the Body, Soul And Spirit

How to Relax in 10 Steps: Making Space Within You

Try also to be grateful for what you have without thinking that this means lack of ambition. It simply means to stop chasing a chimera and to seek your well-being in what you have. Well-being, not happiness, because well-being is a state that can become permanent, while happiness is a moment, or some moments, that may fade away soon.

Pursuing well-being means beginning a journey made of small steps that could lead us to happiness but if the longed happiness is not achieved, the most important thing is being well.