The publication on Facebook or other Social Media provokes a contagious phenomenon. Both positive or negative news generate a reaction from the followers. That’s why I think that sharing little good things would bring positivity to your life.
I rarely publish negative things on Facebook, with the exception of some situations that happen in big cities, like a poor waste collection. I definitely prefer to publish positive news because I think that generally speaking the media report mainly about bad news. I am convinced that both positive and negative things happen in the world. Honestly, I think that more good things happen and that they are worth sharing. By sharing good things, you will help the world be a better place as positive energy will spread all over around you. Bad news attracts the attention of the public because of their morbidity but they only contribute to the creation of a spiral of negativity.
Social Crisis
It is true that our society has been in crisis for many years now and that politics does not offer adequate solutions to problems that are increasingly complex. There are too many homeless people, salaries are low and life is expensive. But despite this I am sure that life reserves us moments of joy that we should not hide, rather we should celebrate!
I am happy about my life overall. Of course, the environment that surrounds me is not ideal; sometimes things do not go as they should; I see injustices, I have my intolerance and suffering, but I don’t let myself be involved in this negative spiral. If I think about the life that our grandparents used to live, then there is nothing else to do than rejoice. We have food every day, running water, electricity and heating in our homes. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs we surely passed the first two levels. What if you were a woman born in Afghanistan and had to wear the burka? Or if you were born in a country at war? Or if you were forced to pay a fortune to heal yourself?
Therefore, do not hesitate to share your moments of joy, your successes, small or big, because this will spread and create positivity all around you. Of course, not every day will be spring, but I’m sure you can always find a small good thing to share.
This does not mean that you should not try to improve yourself, but it does mean that your personal development would be easier if you looked at the glass half full instead of the glass half empty.
When e-mails, text messages, conference calls, Webex, Whatspp, FB, Instagram, Tweeter, Google and anything else from your partner to your boss invade your lives, it becomes necessary for your survival to stop for a while and be silent. That’s why unplugging your mind is crucial.
Our always connected minds take us away from the best of ourselves and our creative potential.
Referring constantly to what one or the other has said, we forget to connect to our essential being, which is unique and precious.
We have become individuals driven by technological change that moved away from ourselves, from our awareness of being human, from the first component of Emotional Intelligence (EI). EI is recognized today as a condition of success in a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous (VUCA) world, as it is the one we live in today.
Refocusing, looking inside, listening to silence and our inner voice. In the depths of ourselves we find an enormous amount of resources and our most authentic creativity: it is our treasure, a unique, rich and colorful, magical place where everything is open and possible.
In this space, we can find synchronicity, messages and insights that will enable us to make the right decisions for our lives. Real relationships can arise, authentic relationships between sincere people who are now masked by the ego that continues to rule us.
What to do then?
Give yourself moments of silence! Be for a while without your mobile phone. Go out for a walk without it, walk with no direction in nature and feel, look, listen, use all your senses to the maximum.
Be present in this unique moment and let yourself be pervaded by the harmony that surrounds you.
Practice your favorite hobby, and if you do not have it, think about finding one. Quietly cooking at home, knitting, painting, drawing, gardening and all the other activities that you may be passionate about.
Stop for a moment and stop moving from one activity to another, from one piece of information to another. Your brain can not take it anymore, it also needs a rest. Give yourself time to deepen the reasons for your choices and discover the reason for your being, your purpose.
People feel lost. Most probably they are really lost: they have disconnected from themselves to live in connection with the social networks.
Therefore, unplugging your mind is very important for your wellbeing. Learn to find some space for yourself and your deeper needs. And live your life fully. You deserve it!
After finishing my training to become a coach (already a long ago, in 2017), I began to recite a mantra that sounds like this:
I love and accept myself as I am.
Every time I argue with my husband, especially when he doesn’t like some of my behaviour, I go with my mantra: I love and accept myself as I am.
What does it mean to love and accept ourselves as we are?
First, it means having a healthy relationship with ourselves, namely clogging the genuine belief that we are enough and not continuing to try to be “validated” by others.
Self-acceptance is not just about your body. Sometimes when we look in the mirror (especially us women) we do not like ourselves, we see ourselves fat, a little older, with dark circles under our eyes and who knows what other defects. Our body is the most visible part of ourselves, and commercials make us see people in great shape, always perfect and beautiful.
But also our personality is important of course, and it is crucial to accept ourselves as we are.
Why is accepting oneself so important?
Research has shown that non-acceptance of oneself or poor self-acceptance can be the cause of depression and anxiety. In addition, a negative image of ourselves can even cause eating disorders that could also turn into obesity.
Although accepting ourselves as we are would make us feel better, it is not easy, because we always seek others’ approval. This is also the result of social conditioning, which pushes us to always seek validation from the group, from the community we belong and feel part of.
Moreover, today, with the massive use of social media, we tend more and more to compare ourselves to others, we want to get as many likes as possible, to feel part of something that goes beyond our identity, and prevents us from achieving a well-being based on who we really are and what we seek in life, our purpose, why we are on this planet, in one word, your Ikigai, as the Japanese would say.
We think that judgment, the approval of others contributes to our well-being, when in reality it is not like that.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Who are these “others” whom you trust so much that you let them judge you?
Do you really know them well?
Why do you trust their judgment?
Remember: accept yourself for what you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.
Make my mantra yours: I love and accept myself as I am.
A few days ago, listening to the news updating on the Covid-19 outbreak in Belgium, I heard that they were talking about the Cabin Fever. Since what they were saying sounded familiar to me, I decided to do some research. Having spent 9 weeks at home, without going to work and without seeing people other than my family, I must admit that I also felt something strange. I don’t feel like going back to a so-called normal life (then I should also know what it is the meaning of this normal life and see if I like it).
Actually, I don’t want to go back to work, I mean to my office premises, as I have been tele-working very well since the beginning of the crisis. It wasn’t clear to me why, so I decided to try to find it out and I drove nearby my office place. I found out with great relief that I did not feel anything in particular, neither stress nor anxiety, or fear.
However, this did not change my wish to continue teleworking.
The Cabin Fever is a syndrome that you may develop as a reaction to being isolated or confined for an extended period of time. It is not a real mental disorder, but it is associated with a particular condition linked to a long period of being lockdown, such as a disease, or a pathological condition, or in the case that we have been just experiencing, with the Coronavirus pandemic. We can feel anxiety, insecurity, fear of the future and of those we don’t know. You don’t want to leave your own place and only there you feel safe.
This syndrome, first described in the early twentieth century, is not fully recognised at a scientific level because there are not enough literature and case studies. At the time, they referred to people who, for example, worked in the high mountains and spent a lot of time within their home. It was discovered that these people found it difficult to go out, because they felt that they could not control the external space. This may also happen to prisoners when they go out of prison (that is why it is also called prisoner syndrome). You may feel infinitely small in front of a big world, out of your reach.
What to do then?
We spent about two months locked in our apartment or house, worried about the spread of the virus, fearing of ourselves getting sick, fearing that one of our loved ones would get sick and fearing of losing our job.
The media have also played a bit with our fears: put on the mask when you go out (but there were no masks available), don’t touch anything when you’re out if you don’t have disposable gloves (also unavailable on the market), above all do not touch your face (do you know how many times are we tempted to touch our face in an hour? On average 60 times, that is once a minute. Try to pay attention to it). It doesn’t matter then if on the street you see people wearing the mask in an absolutely inappropriate way which could also be more harmful than useful (wearing the mask around the neck, putting it on and taking it off maybe with unwashed hands, leaving the nose uncovered – I know it is difficult to breathe with something on your nose and mouth).
And now that, all of a sudden, they tell us that we can get out, we wonder if the danger has really passed. Our mind is still focused on everything that has just happened and it is normal to think that there may be a situation of danger and / or insecurity outside (think only if you have to use public transport for example).
Now, however, it is time to plan the future, calmly. Did you appreciate the quietness found during the time spent at home? I have appreciated it very much and I would like teleworking from home to become a regular working pattern. I wish that we could choose to stay at home to tele-work (it is obvious that it is not a possible option for all types of job, but big companies like Twitter have already adopted this policy and have decided that only those who want will go back to their office). I list only some of the advantages that this choice entails: your ecological footprint will decrease, your quality of life will improve because you find yourself with “freed” time, for example from avoiding the journey home-work-home. This time could be dedicated to your well-being.
Then you can arrange a meeting with some (a few) friends and pay a visit to your family (though without being able to hug each other yet).
A few days ago it has been announced that from June 3 we can return to Italy without having to spend 14 days in quarantine. So, we can start planning vacations. You could start too.
What you shouldn’t do is listening obsessively and compulsively (transforming or even adding obsessive-compulsive disorder – OCD – to the Cabin Fever) the continuous updates on new infections, number of deaths, and the news coming from other continents. Don’t watch catastrophic movies, they don’t help you but rather will increase your anxiety. Then, try to think positive, because as the law of attraction teaches you, if you think negative then what happens to you will be negative. Also be aware that most of the bad things you think won’t happen, and that’s statistics.
Above all, try to be courageous, patient and safe: step by step the world will start to turn again, more or less well, but I hope better than before.
However, if you experience a sense of terrible anxiety, a malaise that paralyses you and you feel like being surrounded by flames, or by monsters, or by dangerous animals, you should go to a professional, such as a psychologist for example, if you don’t want this syndrome to turn into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Crisbie Coach 