Archivi dei tag: empathy

The Story of the Mouse and the Trap

Do you know the story of the mouse and the trap? It’s a tale that teaches a lesson about community, the importance of heeding warnings, and empathy.

A little mouse once discovered that a trap had been set in the farmer’s house. Alarmed, the mouse ran out to inform the other animals on the farm, hoping they would understand the danger and help find a solution.

The mouse first approached the chicken and warned, “There is a trap in the house!”

The chicken clucked and replied, “I am sorry, Mr. Mouse, but it is no concern of mine. It doesn’t affect me directly, so there’s nothing I can do.”

Next, the mouse went to the pig and repeated, “There is a trap in the house!”

The pig sympathized but said, “I am very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it. It doesn’t affect me directly.”

The mouse then turned to the cow and told her, “There is a trap in the house!”

The cow said, “Oh, Mr. Mouse, I am sorry for you, but it doesn’t bother me at all. There is nothing I can do.”

Dejected and alone, the mouse returned to the house, knowing that he would have to face the danger alone. That night, the trap snapped, but it wasn’t the mouse that was caught. The farmer’s wife had heard the noise and went to check the trap. In the darkness, she didn’t see that it had caught a venomous snake by the tail. The snake bit her, and she became very ill.

To care for her, the farmer slaughtered the chicken to make soup. Despite the efforts to nurse her back to health, the woman did not recover. Many people came to the house to pay their respects, so the farmer had to kill the pig to feed all the visitors. Eventually, the farmer also had to slaughter the cow to provide enough meat for everyone.

The little mouse watched in sorrow as all the animals who had refused to help him met their fate due to the trap that they had thought did not concern them.

The moral of this story is that danger to one can be a danger to all, and the importance of helping others in times of need, as a threat to one community member can ultimately affect everyone.

In the end, “The Mouse and the Trap” illustrates the interconnectedness of all community members and the vital role of empathy. Each animal’s initial reaction of indifference underscores a lack of empathy for the mouse’s plight. By ignoring the mouse’s warning, they failed to understand and share in its fear and concern.

True empathy involves recognizing that the struggles of others are significant, even if they do not seem to directly affect us. The misfortunes that befell the chicken, pig, and cow serve as a poignant reminder that a lack of empathy can lead to unforeseen consequences. Had they empathized with the mouse and taken action, they might have prevented the ensuing tragedy.

Thus, the story encourages us to practice empathy by listening to and supporting those around us, understanding that their troubles could one day become our own. By fostering a compassionate and responsive community, we can collectively safeguard against dangers that any one member might face.

Would you agree that this fable teaches us the good implications of being empathic?

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Empathy: a Bridge to Foster Connections

Sometimes, relating to others may feel like navigating a complex labyrinth where tensions surface. Empathy would emerge as the thread that weaves the fabric of understanding, which helps to transform difficulties into opportunities for profound connection and mutual understanding. Thanks to its transformative power and pivotal role in forging meaningful connections, empathy may become a source of joy and inspiration.

Empathy: The Art of Walking in Another’s Shoes

Empathy is more than a mere display of mercy; it’s the art of stepping into someone else’s world and experiencing their emotions from within. Unlike a predefined talent, empathy is a skill that can be learned, honed, and applied to enhance our relationships.

Breaking Barriers: Empathy in Action

Being empathic involves a profound sense of connection with others. While it may be easier to empathize with those who share similarities, the true challenge lies in extending empathy to those we perceive as antagonists. Workplace relationships, for instance, can benefit immensely from empathetic communication. Engaging in open conversations, understanding colleagues’ experiences, and acknowledging their emotions can bridge gaps and pave the way for trust and collaboration.

Empathy’s Ripple Effect: Renewing Bonds

A wellspring of empathy can unlock the ability to sense the emotions of others, offering a glimpse into their perspectives and enabling us to anticipate their reactions. When people feel truly understood, the path towards trust and deep understanding unfurls. Empathy is a potent force capable of renewing bonds that may have seemed strained or broken.

Looking Inward: The Dual Nature of Empathy

However, empathy is not a one-way street. To extend understanding outward, we must first direct it inward. Acknowledging our own emotions, both positive and negative, is crucial. Identifying and embracing feelings such as anger, bitterness, or shame allows for a deeper connection with ourselves. The clarity gained from understanding our emotions becomes a foundation for comprehending and accepting the diverse emotional landscapes of others.

Nurturing Empathy to Build Richer Human Connections

Empathy serves as the vibrant thread that binds us all. By cultivating this transformative skill, we not only enrich our connections with others but also foster a deeper understanding of ourselves. As we start the journey of empathy, let’s remember that embracing diversity, both within and around us, is the key to unlocking the true potential of human connections.

Do you also believe in the power of empathy to build bridges among people?

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Why You Would Need a Range of Influencing Tactics to Better Communicate

The modern workplace is constantly changing, and you may sometimes struggle to convince your boss or your colleagues of the merits of your idea. This means that you would need a range of influencing strategies, to ensure that you become comfortable with influencing different people at different times and in different situations.

You can use more than one way to convince your colleagues of your idea’s strengths. You can use both logic and emotion strategies or you can demonstrate both the positive aspects of the plan and the negative aspects of the alternatives.

Therefore, you may like to follow one (or more) of these four strategies:
  1. Investigator
  2. Calculator
  3. Motivator
  4. Collaborator

1. Investigators draw on facts and figures to support a logical and methodical approach. To become adept at this style of influencing, it is important to feel comfortable handling data, finding information that supports your strategy, and then using it to form a convincing argument.

Information gathering is the first step. Effective influencers of this type collect two main types of information: background data, which informs their view of the world, and task-related data, that is for a specific purpose. Be sure to chunk your information before delivering, to avoid the audience stopping listening. And sure be also not to pass too many information.

2. Calculators tend to use logic to influence.

This strategy depends on giving time and effort to in-depth analysis and the creation of a well-structured argument. Skills associated with this approach include the ability to weigh options, the capacity to provide feedback, and the understanding of when to offer concessions.

Stick to the facts so that you keep your credibility, but remember to compare your proposal’s benefits with the risks of inaction in a way that your listeners can relate to.

3. Motivators use emotions and the “big picture” to communicate compelling visions of the future. While some people seem to be natural motivators, there are some simple lessons that anyone can learn to influence through motivation.

You can add structure to your enthusiasm, and maximise the impact of any presentation you have to give. You may use the Monroe’s Motivated Sequence. In five steps you will gain your audience’s attention, and leave team members with specific actions that they can take afterwards.

You might think that you lack the natural charisma to be a motivator, but the good news is that this skill can be developed. You can learn to be more engaging, likeable and inspiring. Concentrate on your body language, help others to feel good, and show empathy, assertiveness and confidence.

4. Collaborators use motivation too, but they persuade people by involving them in the decision.

Collaborators are great team builders. They engage people’s hearts and minds. This helps people to own the process of change for themselves. In these circumstances, your role is to be a facilitator rather than trying to convince team members logically.

To be a collaborator, you likely need: the ability to share power, the capacity to listen actively, and the willingness to communicate openly.

Which one of these influencing strategies you think would be the most effective for you?

Human beings have only one great desire: to love and to be loved

It is clear to all that the world in which we live is not perfect, and that indeed there is still a long way to go to improve. Humanity has made incredible technological advances but many of us still live in fear and sorrow. But people have a great common desire: to love and be loved.

The world is plagued by war, diseases, famine, natural catastrophes, corruption, racism, inequality, and mankind has learned little from the thousands of years of civilization of which we are the heirs. We really live in difficult times. But the human being has a resource of inestimable value, love.

To achieve this, you should begin to celebrate life, its magnificent diversity, and make kindness and compassion your priorities. We are all very different, but the human heart needs to express itself by loving and being loved.

I hope to inspire you to offer your contribution to building a better world by opening your heart. Speak and listen to people with empathy, make a difference and never take anything for granted.

Opening your heart to others is not only about giving a precious gift, but it’s also about creating a bond, offering a positive experience, and building a bridge between you and a different world.

So, if you only have one thing to offer, offer an unforgettable experience to leave an unforgettable memory. Or offer forgiveness, or time and attention. And above all, be kind and compassionate.

Let me have your comments!

Would You Recognize Anxiety in One of Your Friends?

If you have been lucky enough not to have suffered from anxiety disorders, you may not understand what it means to be in such a situation of psychological distress.

Family or friends, mostly out of fear, tend to think that the person suffering is not strong enough or determined to get out of it.  However, no one chooses to be anxious or depressed, and no one has the magic wand to put an end to such suffering.

Moreover, people who suffer from anxiety are not as easily spotted as you may think. Many victims of anxiety often wear an unconscious mask of confidence and apparent happiness.

They want to hide a disorder that is very difficult to live with because they feel the constant apprehension of revealing it to their loved ones. Anxious people would not want to cause additional worries that could be difficult for their family and friends to deal with. They are also afraid that the relationships could be strongly impacted.

Therefore it may be difficult for families and friends to detect or recognise anxiety disorders.

However, if one of your friends in distress would end up speaking to you about their true condition, then you could try to provide appropriate support. Dialogue, emotional presence and referral to health professionals such as a psychotherapist who would help identify the basic problem are some of the first steps towards healing.

Would you like some tips on getting rid of anxiety? Have a look here!

Non-Violent Communication

Non-Violent Communication (NVC) developed by Marshall Rosenberg is a form of philosophy of life that seeks on the one hand to strengthen relationships (starting with the one with yourself) and on the other it is a way to begin a dialogue favouring mutual understanding, open mind and kindness.

NVC aims to connect people in a peaceful way, using words without offending people, without attacking them and at the same time without annihilating yourself. It is an assertive way of communication. We listen to understand.

In these times of uncertainty and difficulty due to the persistence of the Covid emergency, we are super stressed and sometimes we can have excessive verbal reactions, which we may regret later.

We can consider the NVC as a real tool for maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves and with others. Who hasn’t ever wanted to express themselves so as not to hurt or attack the other?

NCV consists of a simple method of clear and empathic communication, based on these four steps.

Observation of the facts.

Try to identify the fact without expressing any judgement. E.g. “It’s two o’clock in the morning and I hear music coming from your room” (fact) is different from saying: “It’s too late to make all that noise” (judgement).

Feelings.

Express the feelings that accompany the observation. Or, imagine what the other person feeling is and ask them. E.g. “You are about to take an exam and I see you walking back and forth (observation). Are you nervous?”

Recognition of needs.

Express the needs that give rise to certain feelings. E.g. “I am a bit upset and would like to talk. Is this the right time for you?”

Formulation of requests.

Ask clearly and precisely what you want. E.g. “I noticed that you are very silent today (fact). Are you bored? (feeling).” If the answer is yes, try to communicate your feelings and make a proposal: “Well, I’m bored too. How about going out for a walk?”.

Finally, the ultimate purpose of NVC is to find a way in which each person can express what they consider important without blaming, humiliating, embarrassing, or threatening others. It serves to resolve conflicts, get in tune with people and live in a conscious and attentive way of their needs, finding a compromise with your own.

NCV helps us to discover our experiences and our aspirations and to express them with firmness and kindness.

Furthermore, it also allows us to make ourselves better understood and to understand others better, by easing intra and interpersonal tensions. NVC offers keys to understand our limits and to welcome the actions and reactions of others without letting ourselves be overwhelmed!

Thanks to this tool you can lose the fear of expressing yourself and gain more confidence in your abilities.

What do you think about NVC?

ground group growth hands
Trust – Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Why Being Curious Is Worth

We are all born curious. Think about when you were a child or at children you know. They are extremely curious, aren’t they? They ask a lot of questions and they put themselves in dangerous situations.

Curiosity has great benefits: from rejuvenating your minds to helping you cope with change successfully.

However, we don’t all experience it the same way. There are those who are fascinated by Instagram to look into others’ lives, and there are some people who focus their interest on getting to know how things work, like for instance a car engine.

In both cases they are curious people.

However, the latest research shows that there are different types of curiosity which influence our personality and abilities.

Let’s look at the typology proposed by Todd Kashdan, of George Mason University, and other authors:

Joyful exploration: this is the classic type of curiosity. You look for something related to new knowledge or information, from learning how to cook a dish you liked to knowing who built a particular building. This curiosity, as the name indicates, is linked to the joy of learning something you did not know before.

Anxiety caused by missing something: this dimension has a different emotional tone. While the previous one gives you joy, in this case you get stressed or anxious to know how to solve a problem during an exam or to remember something that does not come to your mind, for example.

Tolerance to stress: it is activated when you accept doubt or anxiety facing new, complex or unknown events. In some ways, it helps reduce resistance to change. It allows you to ask yourself what there may be beyond fear, for example when you experience changes in your job.

Social curiosity: if you are socially curious you tend to observe what others think, or how they behave. It is the desire to learn about others’ lives through the press, TV or social networks.

Thrill-seeking: This is the dimension that leads people to take any kind of risks to seek out new experiences, such as practising extreme sports or travelling to dangerous countries for the pleasure of the adventure.

According to a research conducted in 2018 on over 3,000 workers in the United States, Germany and China, 84% recognized that curiosity allows them to generate new ideas and 64% that it helps them to get a job promotion. Furthermore, according to the study’s conclusions, the first four dimensions of curiosity improve outcomes at work while people with high social curiosity are best at stirring up conflicts and gaining trust.

Ultimately, you can have one or more of the previous dimensions and, depending on this, you will  be a joyful explorer, or you will be more inclined to solve problems, or, thanks to your social curiosity, you will be more empathetic.

Which category do you think you belong to?

black and white boys children curiosity
Children Are Extremely Curious – Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

How to Identify a Narcissistic Personality

The common definition of narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s idealised self-image and attributes.

Narcissists are people who believe be unique, superior to others and masters of a wonderful existence that no one can imagine. As a result, they may be bully and arrogant. They need constant admiration and always want to be the best. Therefore, they may become extremely competitive. In their view, they are the only ones capable of achieving results in life.

They also think their experience is more valuable than that of others and feel they need to set an example for those around them. They do not do it to give advice but to be at the centre of the attention. Because of that, their social relationships deteriorate fast and they need new people to admire them, even if, over time, they will be left alone.

The world of narcissists is small, it is limited to what they think and do. In their their mind there are echoes of their thoughts. They do not listen to others because they don’t care about anything. Their greed for admiration leads them to believe that there are no ordinary events happening in their life, their existence is just wonderful and successful.

Photo by NASA on Unsplash

Envy prevails in their personal and social relationships, both what they feel about others’ success and what they think other people feel about their fantastic life.

Caution is the norm if a narcissist approaches you, because they want to excel and they will not hesitate to crush you. They are the worst acquaintances you can have because their lack of empathy makes them unable to help and support.

They live in a parallel reality, in a dream world where they want to exert power over others. Whatever they do is addressed to achieve success at any costs.

They have a vivid imagination that leads them to lie often, and they may tell amazing things they have done, even though they are difficult to prove. Remember that they cannot fail, failure does not belong to their world.

Narcissists need to hide their flaws and turn their insecurity into a false security. In order not to show their vulnerability, they will do anything necessary, such as talking excessively, changing the subject in order to shift attention to them, and belittle others by pointing out their flaws.

Narcissists are control freaks and try to bring every situation to their own ground, where they feel safe. If they are managers, they will micromanage.

They must constantly feel euphoria not to show their discomfort, because the narcissistic person do not want to feel frustrated. A common way to avoid frustration is addiction, whether it is shopping, alcohol, drugs, sports, sex, or gambling.

Another characteristic of narcissists is that they tend to take advantage of others. For example, they will partner with well-positioned people to earn their trust and use them to help them grow. They will also take credits of others’ success to advance their career or social ladder.

Narcissists master the subtle art of manipulation. They are always on an alert mode, ready to redirect those who try to say or do something they do not like, or that does not allow them to show their greatness and power in front of others.

If after reading this article you think you are a narcissist, don’t worry as a true narcissist will never identify with these traits. For a narcissistic person, aspirations are never excessive. If they are the centre of attention it is because they think they deserve it. It is ridiculous for these people to try to identify themselves in any profile. The narcissist is unique, in no way you can compete with him or her.

Have you ever dealt with a narcissist?

Photo by Marina Lakotka on Unsplash

Empathy: a Link Between Us and The Others

Relating to others may be difficult sometimes. Tensions may arise but they could be turned into opportunities to get to know each other better. The relationship can thus improve and become a source of joy and inspiration.

Empathy is not to show mercy, but it is the possibility that a person tries to put herself in other’s shoes and lives from the inside what the other feels at that moment.

An important thing to know is that empathy is not a talent with which you are born, but it can be learned. Being empathic means first of all feeling somehow involved towards the other from us. Surely it is easier to feel empathy for people who are similar to us than for people who we feel as antagonist.

If we want to be empathetic with our colleagues at work, we could try talking to them more often, asking them what they have been experiencing and the emotions they feel rather than imagining it, which could prove to be absolutely misleading.

A good empathy could allow us to feel the emotions that our interlocutors feel and we could thus anticipate their reactions. When people feel understood, the path of trust and good understanding opens up. True empathy allows you renewing a bond that could have seemed broken.

But be careful: empathy cannot be directed only towards others but it has to be directed also towards ourselves. In order to identify the emotions of others, we shall first know how to identify our emotions and not only the positive ones but also the negative ones such as, for instance, anger, bitterness, shame. The clearer our emotions are, the more we can accept and understand others’ emotions. Understanding why we experience certain emotions will allow us to put ourselves in others’ shoes and understand the reasons why one person was pushed to experience one emotion rather than another. The diversity of points of view can only be understood if we accept that we all are diverse.

9 Reasons to Practise Mindfulness

Today we speak a lot about Mindfulness. Do we really know what it is and why it is useful?

Let’s start with a small definition. Mindfulness is a mental training that makes you aware of your actions and bring focus on what you are doing in the present moment. It is a concept taken from Buddhism but it has lost the religious component and it is not limited to meditation, though meditation is part of Mindfulness.

Today’s life is sometime difficult and often very busy. We find ourselves more and more exhausted and breathless. Our mind is forced to focus on several tasks at the same time (the so called multitasking), at the expenses of our mental and physical well-being.

Practising Mindfulness helps us for sure with finding a bit of quietness and copying with events’ life differently, both in the work environment and at personal level. Mindfulness helps us with finding our own human and spiritual intimacy.

Practising regularly Mindfulness has a positive effect on stress and anxiety and it also helps us in developing useful mental skills that build capacity for:

  1. Focus
  2. Mental Clarity and Agility
  3. Collaboration
  4. Creativity and Innovation
  5. Emotional Intelligence
  6. Empathy and Compassion
  7. Resilience
  8. Happiness
  9. Overall Well-Being.

Try a simple exercise: eat slowly a fruit, trying to taste it fully, to understand the consistency and find out the feelings it gives you. If you eat like that once a day, you will be on the good path for being mindful!