emotions – Pagina 2 – Crisbie Coach

Why nostalgia is important

Nostalgia is a shield against existential challenges. Evoking positive experiences and feelings from the past can help you cope better with the present and the future.

Nostalgia is a rear view mirror that reflects a particular feeling of a time or place or an emotion that happened in the past. It could be the memory of your first love, a yellowed photograph found by chance, or an object that reminds you of something. The Internet can help make you nostalgic. With one click you can find, for example, the soundtrack of a pleasant moment you lived.

Today, experts tell us that nostalgia is a complex emotion, above all, but not always, positive, which can give you greater sensitivity and can help you understand the present.

The word nostalgia was invented in 1680 by a student (Johannes Hofer) from the University of Basel who combined the Greek word nóstos (homecoming) and algia (suffering). He described it as the pain that the Swiss soldiers felt in battle and that they wanted to go home.

Current studies distinguish nostalgia from melancholy because it has a stimulating effect and does not cause symptoms of illness, rather it tries to fight them.

Could it be said that nostalgia is a source of resilience and wellbeing?

Researchers from the University of Southampton (UK) have observed that nostalgia is a vital component of mental health that motivates us and increases our self-esteem.

Nostalgia also represents a reservoir of emotions that you can consciously access and which you unconsciously use in your daily life to reinforce the feelings of your past that help you cope with the present and the future.

But remember that the past can be recalled but cannot come back. Nostalgia does not give you back what you have lost but it helps you to better manage the life you are living.

Do you think nostalgia helps you with managing your life?

Photo by Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash

Three Tips to Fight Frustration

The pandemic has put us in front of an uncertain future and left us with negative emotions.

We have all experienced as children the disappointment of asking for something that was then denied. It could also happen that we started crying and this drove our parents crazy. They labelled this behaviour as a whim.

Actually, frustration is present in all stages of life and our success also depends a little on how we manage this typical human emotion.

A Zen master summarizes happiness in a simple formula: happiness is the reality that we live less than what we want or hope to achieve.

When what you want outweighs what you have, then you are faced with what Carl Gustav Jung used to say: “Life not lived is a disease from which you can die.”

In our society where competition and instant satisfaction prevail, frustration necessarily accompanies us more or less always, because as soon as we have satisfied a wish, another one comes.

This period of pandemic has made us move from unbridled consumerism to a culture of cancellation (cancellation of holidays, cancellation of dinners with friends, cancellation of medical appointments, etc.).

Has this sudden change affected your life? See if you have any of the symptoms listed below to understand if you have become a frustrated person:

you are often melancholic;
you experience increased irritability, tension and stress. Things that didn’t bother you before now make you jump up;
you have negative thoughts that come back all the time, stealing you energy and sometimes sleep;
you have increased consumption of alcohol and medicines taken without medical advice;
you want to run away.

Photo by Oscar Aguilar Elías on Unsplash

If you recognize yourself in one or two of these characteristics, then it means that frustration has taken over part of your life.

Here are some tips that will help you get through this moment:

cultivate patience. It may seem obvious, but it is very effective. As a child as well as an adult, frustration occurs when you don’t get what you want. If the parents don’t buy you the toy you want when you ask for it, but they tell you they will offer it to you over your birthday, that doesn’t make you feel better. In times of crisis, if we do not know when the situation that creates frustration will end (as now, which the spread of Covid has resumed in a rather important way) we could lose hope. Against this view, only a long-term perspective will help you. Although you don’t know how long the situation will last, knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel helps you to live in the present moment.
analyse what you get from it. Just as energy is not created or destroyed, but it is transformed, even losses can bring you gains. If you could not leave for that trip you wanted so much, think that you have saved some money and as soon as you can leave again, you will have greater financial availability. If you have lost your job because the company where you used to work has closed down, you will be forced to evaluate other possibilities, to get back into the game and maybe you can start an independent business that you never would have thought of before and that finally it is worthy. To fight frustration you have to ask yourself: What do I gain from this loss?
think that everything changes. Nothing we have will last for ever. Even if we could satisfy all our wishes, it would always be a temporary satisfaction. If nothing remains as it is but everything changes, then the frustration loses its meaning.

The following thought is attributed to the painter Eugéne Delacroix: “Desire the best, avoid the worst and take what comes”. If you follow this motto, instead of holding on to expectations, you will take things as they happen. You will feel more in the flow of events, even chaotic, that life sometimes offers you.

Do you feel frustrated in this period of pandemic that is not over yet nor do you know when it will end?

Aromatherapy to Fight Insomnia

Insomnia can have different causes: noisy surrounding environment, excess of light or lack of light, extreme heat or cold, intense rhythm of life that causes stress, anxiety and depression. Good sleep is the cornerstone of a healthy life, while insomnia can cause mental and physical health ailments and weaken the immune system.

Several studies have shown a positive effect of essential oils on sleep disorders. However, if you experience severe sleeping disorders that have a significant impact on any aspect of your well-being, seek professional help.

I have selected five essential oils that I use for myself and my family that I hope will be useful to you too.

Oils that prevent insomnia and calm the spirit by reducing anxiety:

Lavender: relaxes the muscles, has antidepressant, calming and balancing properties. I used it also when my son was little and found difficult to fall asleep.

Roman chamomile: powerful calming oil, helps to manage nervous and anguish crisis.

Bitter orange: calming, balancing, sedative, it allows to fight anxiety, anguish, restless sleep and night time awakenings.

Oils to calm muscle spasms responsible for agitation:

Marjoram: a very powerful anxiolytic, antispasmodic and sedative. In addition to providing a sedative and anti-inflammatory effect, it relieves stiff and painful joints.

Ravensara (Ravintsara): muscle relaxant. Complements and strengthens the marjoram and helps you fall asleep.

This is only a small selection based on my preferences. You can also try mandarin, neroli, hypericum, valerian and lemon scented geranium.

How to use them:

Aroma Diffuser: pour 20 to 25 drops of essential oil into an electric diffuser to avoid combustion and turn it on 5 minutes before going to bed.

Massage: pour 4 to 10 drops of essential oil into a vegetable oil such as argan or hemp. Massage the solar plexus before going to bed. If you have the chance, ask those who live with you to massage your feet, back, legs and belly.

Bath (for an adult): mix 5 to 10 drops of essential oil with unrefined coarse salt (a medium-sized glass) and add it to your bath water just before plunging in. Rest about 15 minutes in the tub and then go to bed. For children use only 5 drops.

Steam your pillow: spray some oil a few times on your pillow before going to sleep.

General tips to improve your sleep:

Avoid noise and light in your room. Deep darkness is optimal for a deep sleep. Keep the temperature between 18 and 19 degrees C, before going to bed open the window for 5 minutes and eliminate allergens (cat or dog hair, dust, pollen, etc.).

In the evening, eliminate exciting drinks like coffee, tea, carbonated drinks and alcohol. Eat light food and do not go to bed immediately after eating, even if you are very tired. Beware if you miss vitamin B, calcium and magnesium as it may be the cause which can cause sleep disorders.

Avoid spending many hours in front of a screen (both computer and television) before going to sleep. Of course, you should also avoid having a television in the room.

Emotions

Anxiety and adaptation to change are two enemies of sleep. Read, drink a herbal tea, meditate. Plan a 30 minute relaxation time to at least calm your spirit and body before going to bed.

Sleep Cycle

Respect your schedules and habits as much as possible so as not to upset your biological clock. Always try to eat and go to bed at the same time. If you suffer from insomnia do not take an afternoon nap because you risk changing your sleeping pattern.

What about you? Do you think that one of those oils may help you improve your sleep?

Empathy: a Link Between Us and The Others

Relating to others may be difficult sometimes. Tensions may arise but they could be turned into opportunities to get to know each other better. The relationship can thus improve and become a source of joy and inspiration.

Empathy is not to show mercy, but it is the possibility that a person tries to put herself in other’s shoes and lives from the inside what the other feels at that moment.

An important thing to know is that empathy is not a talent with which you are born, but it can be learned. Being empathic means first of all feeling somehow involved towards the other from us. Surely it is easier to feel empathy for people who are similar to us than for people who we feel as antagonist.

If we want to be empathetic with our colleagues at work, we could try talking to them more often, asking them what they have been experiencing and the emotions they feel rather than imagining it, which could prove to be absolutely misleading.

A good empathy could allow us to feel the emotions that our interlocutors feel and we could thus anticipate their reactions. When people feel understood, the path of trust and good understanding opens up. True empathy allows you renewing a bond that could have seemed broken.

But be careful: empathy cannot be directed only towards others but it has to be directed also towards ourselves. In order to identify the emotions of others, we shall first know how to identify our emotions and not only the positive ones but also the negative ones such as, for instance, anger, bitterness, shame. The clearer our emotions are, the more we can accept and understand others’ emotions. Understanding why we experience certain emotions will allow us to put ourselves in others’ shoes and understand the reasons why one person was pushed to experience one emotion rather than another. The diversity of points of view can only be understood if we accept that we all are diverse.