courage – Crisbie Coach

Aristotle and the 11 Rules for Living Happily

silhouette photography of group of people jumping during golden time

It might seem strange to think that the wisdom of an ancient philosopher like Aristotle could still resonate in our fast-paced, digital age. However, Aristotle’s insights remain profoundly relevant, offering a blueprint for a fulfilling life even in the complexities of the modern world. If Aristotle spoke of 11 rules for living happily, it’s because he believed there is indeed a path to eudaimonia—a term that encapsulates the highest human good, often translated as “flourishing” or “happiness.”

At first glance, it may appear absurd that the thoughts of a man who lived centuries ago could reflect the reality of our rapidly evolving society. However, Aristotle understood the human condition in a way that transcends time. No matter how much trends, mindsets, or expectations change, the pursuit of happiness remains a central concern for humanity. According to Aristotle, there are 11 rules to achieve a happy life. If you follow them consistently, happiness will be yours—and not only that, you’ll also unlock the secret to living the best life possible.

What Is Eudaimonia?

How does one achieve a happy life? What exactly is eudaimonia? According to Aristotle, it’s the concept of a life well-lived, where happiness is not just a fleeting emotion but the result of continuous action directed toward a state of well-being and prosperity. This idea goes beyond physical well-being, encompassing what resides deep within our hearts, minds, and spirits.

In his “Nicomachean Ethics,” Aristotle often pondered the question, “What kind of person should I be?”—a far more profound inquiry than the more common, “What should I do to be happy?” A man of his wisdom could not be content with the average view of happiness. He recognized that true happiness involves focusing one’s resources and energy on self-improvement. This focus not only enriches the individual but also positively impacts the world around them, making life truly fulfilling.

Aristotle, who saw humans as inherently social creatures, dedicated to relationships and communities, faced personal adversity, including the loss of his great student Alexander the Great and subsequent political tensions. Despite these challenges, Aristotle considered himself happy because he adhered to these 11 rules.

Are Aristotle’s Rules for Happiness Effective?

The first question one should ask is whether they truly know what they want to be. In many cases, sadness stems from a lack of self-awareness, leading to an absence of goals and a deep sense of frustration. Human beings are meant to explore both the world and themselves. Without a clear path or understanding of who they might become, they cannot know what to do to achieve happiness.

Eudaimonia, the state of living well and thriving, is achieved through virtue. The person you aspire to be is a virtuous one. Virtues are character traits and tendencies that, when practiced consistently, become excellent habits. Virtuous individuals become role models for themselves and others, contributing to a better society. These virtues are the “golden mean,” golden rules that help one attain the ultimate goal.

There are 11 virtues, just like the 11 rules for eudaimonia.

The first is Courage—aware of dangers, one fights for their dreams.
Next is Temperance, which lies between excess and deficiency. For Aristotle, both the man who drinks too much (lacking temperance) and the one who never drinks at all (being overly temperate) are in the wrong. The key is finding the right balance.
Then there is Liberality—giving more than one has to others, particularly in doing good.
Magnificence is knowing you are great and striving for the best without showing off.
Magnanimity involves serving others with kindness without falling prey to pride.
Patience is about avoiding outbursts of anger—venting is fine, but in the face of adversity, remaining calm and serene helps one handle challenges better.
Truthfulness—honesty always pays off, even when it seems impossible and could cause trouble. The truth always finds its way back.
Wittiness and Friendliness go hand in hand, involving the art of social interaction with genuine humor without being vulgar or intrusive.
Shame is about understanding one’s limits—avoiding becoming either shameless or too timid to act.
Last, but certainly not least, there is Justice—the ideal that animates everything, guiding one to act justly.

The key is to apply these rules according to the situation and your own moral compass. In doing so, you can aspire to be the person you want to be—virtuous and happy within the society you live in.

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Living the Day

During these challenging moments, I would like to share with you a paragraph taken from John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath”, which embodies strength and courage, and reflects a profound observation about the differences in perspective between men and women, especially in times of hardship and the passage of time.

Steinbeck is known for the realism of his novels and for the humor that enriches his descriptive narratives. Through his storytelling, he paints a vivid portrait of a vanishing America, yet his works remain infused with a resilient hope in humanity’s capacity for renewal and revival. He also captures the resilience of the human spirit and the different ways in which individuals perceive and respond to life’s challenges.

Our life ain’t over. It ain’t, and that’s the thing a woman knows.

I noticed that.

See man, he lives in a jerk.

Baby born, man dies, that’s a jerk.

Gets a farm and loses his farm, and that’s a jerk.

Woman, it’s all one flow, like a stream.

Little eddies, little waterfalls,

but the river, it goes right on.

Woman looks at it like that.

We ain’t gonna die out.

People are going on.

Changing a little maybe, but going right on.

Everything we do, seems to me, is aimed at going on.

It seems that way to me.

Even getting hungry, even being sick.

Some die, but the rest is tougher. Just try to live the day, just the day.

I think that this passage highlights the resilience and adaptability of humanity. Despite hardships, people persevere and keep moving forward. The narrator emphasizes the cyclical nature of life and the innate human drive to survive and endure, even in the face of hunger, sickness, and death.

What do you think about Steinbeck’s words?

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How and Why You Should Learn to Forget

Letting go of the burden of the past is important to your happiness.

Many people live in the past; they remember what they were, the love stories that did not go well, their failures and disappointments.

Such a burden takes away space and energy from the present, which is actually the only time you can live actively.

I read somewhere that happiness consists in enjoying good health and having a bad memory.

Actually, you should learn to let go of the past, forget about the insults received, the bad events and the mistakes, in short, all the bad memories, and learn to focus more on the present.

Here are some tips you could follow.

The best antidote to guilt, resentment, or anger that takes you back to the past is to devote energy to building the life you want.
Stop playing the victim and become an active protagonist of your life
Your memories change while time passes by, they may distort, and they do not really reflect what happened. Try asking a person who shared an event with you to tell you about their memory and then compare it with your memory. You will see that you and that person remember different aspects of the same fact.
Prioritize your well-being. Life is too short to spend arguing and complaining. What happened could be a source of stress and even discomfort. Continuing to feel anger at a past event drains up your energy. It is more important for your physical and mental health to live quietly than to be right at all costs.

The past, however, also brings with it good memories and lessons learned, which shape your personality.

Have a look at what Buddhism teaches: “Joy and happiness arise from letting go. Sit down and take an inventory of your life. There are things you have been hanging on to that really are not useful and deprive you of your freedom. Find the courage to let them go.”

What about you? Would you find the courage to let go of your past?

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How And Why Reinventing Yourself. Find It Out by Following These 6 Steps

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your life? Have you tried several times but failed? Reinventing yourself professionally or personally can be a challenge but also a great adventure. Follow these 6 steps to succeed.

First step: find or wake up one of your passion.

Concluding one phase and starting another one is not easy. Reinventing yourself requires more commitment than a simple change. Consequences may impact vital aspects of your daily life and a lot of courage and determination are needed.

The pandemic phase has forced all of us to look within and it is possible that many of us are dealing with the need of reinventing ourselves. There will be some who feel empty and need to do something to fill the empty spaces, others who have been forced to reinvent themselves due to the loss of a family member or a friend, others due to difficulties with their work.

For one reason or another, these are times when you need to stop to reflect and make decisions. Let’s see how to deal with this situation.

Reinventing yourself in a satisfactory way presupposes confronting yourself with one of the most uncomfortable emotions that exist: fear. You will be forced to leave your comfort zone and take a leap in the dark. The best antidote to fear is passion. It is the first success factor in a “reinvention” phase. Finding your passion, or awakening it, is only possible if you are honest with yourself. You have to ask yourself questions like:

who I really am;
what I want to do;
which of my passions can help me in this moment.

An honest reflection and re-discovery your old dreams are the fundamental ingredients to neutralize fear and not fearing the future.

The second factor that will help you is not to assess uncertainty as a danger but as an opportunity. It is a question of letting go nostalgia and opening up to the experience of the “new”, so that to focus on what you want and not on what you fear.

To achieve this, you must be willing to learn with humility. If you think you already know everything, it is difficult to be able to start over in any area of your life in a satisfactory way. The success of those who are successful is only the tip of the iceberg, behind there are hours and hours of training and mistakes that are barely seen.

Facing the future and uncertainty also requires a great deal of creativity and imagination. When reinventing yourself, it is important to keep a compass to map the path you are taking. The future is not written anywhere, it is up to you to create it and to do so you need our imagination and hard work.

Reinventing yourself means knowing yourself from another perspective and being surprised by the opportunities that suddenly begin to present themselves. If we want your new self to be successful, you need to go out and make yourself known. For this, it is essential to strengthen your network of contacts.

The final ingredient for your success is to be self-confident, because you are capable of doing things you do not even imagine. But you need to learn to use the resources you have and find others available around you.

To conclude, here are the six ingredients to successfully reinvent yourself:

find / awaken your passion to neutralize fear;
transform difficulties into opportunities;
learn, learn, learn;
use great creativity and imagination;
make yourself known;
be self-confident.

Are you ready to reinvent yourself now?

Coping with Cabin Fever

A few days ago, listening to the news updating on the Covid-19 outbreak in Belgium, I heard that they were talking about the Cabin Fever. Since what they were saying sounded familiar to me, I decided to do some research. Having spent 9 weeks at home, without going to work and without seeing people other than my family, I must admit that I also felt something strange. I don’t feel like going back to a so-called normal life (then I should also know what it is the meaning of this normal life and see if I like it).

Actually, I don’t want to go back to work, I mean to my office premises, as I have been tele-working very well since the beginning of the crisis. It wasn’t clear to me why, so I decided to try to find it out and I drove nearby my office place. I found out with great relief that I did not feel anything in particular, neither stress nor anxiety, or fear.

However, this did not change my wish to continue teleworking.

What is it about?

The Cabin Fever is a syndrome that you may develop as a reaction to being isolated or confined for an extended period of time. It is not a real mental disorder, but it is associated with a particular condition linked to a long period of being lockdown, such as a disease, or a pathological condition, or in the case that we have been just experiencing, with the Coronavirus pandemic. We can feel anxiety, insecurity, fear of the future and of those we don’t know. You don’t want to leave your own place and only there you feel safe.

This syndrome, first described in the early twentieth century, is not fully recognised at a scientific level because there are not enough literature and case studies. At the time, they referred to people who, for example, worked in the high mountains and spent a lot of time within their home. It was discovered that these people found it difficult to go out, because they felt that they could not control the external space. This may also happen to prisoners when they go out of prison (that is why it is also called prisoner syndrome). You may feel infinitely small in front of a big world, out of your reach.

What to do then?

We spent about two months locked in our apartment or house, worried about the spread of the virus, fearing of ourselves getting sick, fearing that one of our loved ones would get sick and fearing of losing our job.

The media have also played a bit with our fears: put on the mask when you go out (but there were no masks available), don’t touch anything when you’re out if you don’t have disposable gloves (also unavailable on the market), above all do not touch your face (do you know how many times are we tempted to touch our face in an hour? On average 60 times, that is once a minute. Try to pay attention to it). It doesn’t matter then if on the street you see people wearing the mask in an absolutely inappropriate way which could also be more harmful than useful (wearing the mask around the neck, putting it on and taking it off maybe with unwashed hands, leaving the nose uncovered – I know it is difficult to breathe with something on your nose and mouth).

And now that, all of a sudden, they tell us that we can get out, we wonder if the danger has really passed. Our mind is still focused on everything that has just happened and it is normal to think that there may be a situation of danger and / or insecurity outside (think only if you have to use public transport for example).

Now, however, it is time to plan the future, calmly. Did you appreciate the quietness found during the time spent at home? I have appreciated it very much and I would like teleworking from home to become a regular working pattern. I wish that we could choose to stay at home to tele-work (it is obvious that it is not a possible option for all types of job, but big companies like Twitter have already adopted this policy and have decided that only those who want will go back to their office). I list only some of the advantages that this choice entails: your ecological footprint will decrease, your quality of life will improve because you find yourself with “freed” time, for example from avoiding the journey home-work-home. This time could be dedicated to your well-being.

Then you can arrange a meeting with some (a few) friends and pay a visit to your family (though without being able to hug each other yet).

A few days ago it has been announced that from June 3 we can return to Italy without having to spend 14 days in quarantine. So, we can start planning vacations. You could start too.

What you shouldn’t do is listening obsessively and compulsively (transforming or even adding obsessive-compulsive disorder – OCD – to the Cabin Fever) the continuous updates on new infections, number of deaths, and the news coming from other continents. Don’t watch catastrophic movies, they don’t help you but rather will increase your anxiety. Then, try to think positive, because as the law of attraction teaches you, if you think negative then what happens to you will be negative. Also be aware that most of the bad things you think won’t happen, and that’s statistics.

Above all, try to be courageous, patient and safe: step by step the world will start to turn again, more or less well, but I hope better than before.

However, if you experience a sense of terrible anxiety, a malaise that paralyses you and you feel like being surrounded by flames, or by monsters, or by dangerous animals, you should go to a professional, such as a psychologist for example, if you don’t want this syndrome to turn into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).