After having read a lot about happiness, I found out that you also would need to accept that you cannot always be happy because it will make your life easier.

What is the real meaning of being happy? Is it really necessary to be happy all the time to be successful in life?

Some researchers state that happiness means designing your own quality of life and also finding ways to strive for continuous improvement. They say that we all have a social purpose to live for, that is our mission. If you keep a journal, for instance, you would be able to evaluate the activities that make you happy and compare them with those that make you unhappy. In this way you may have a choice. You can also compare yourself with others’ activities to find out what makes them happy and get inspired. It doesn’t mean that you have to compare yourself with others: you are unique, and  in some cases you don’t even know those people very well.

Moreover, there is not a single recipe to be happy. Not everyone will be happy by practicing meditation or sports, for instance. There are, however, common factors that will influence your happiness:  valuable relationships, a meaningful job,  work-life balance, a great partner and good health. In any case, you may find someone who is not happy in spite of the fact that they have a good job and they get along well with their partner.

Yet, there are also researchers saying that it is not important to target happiness as such, but you would need to to learn how to be unhappy, by accepting the moments of unhappiness without judgement and as part of your life.

Being always positive is not good

Some scientists see with a critical eye today’s trend on being always positive. Avoiding facing distress, sorrow, misery is not a solution. You can’t ignore being unhappy, you have to accept it for what it is. You can also share your negative feelings or emotions with others, it will help you create and strengthen your relationships. When you are worried and you know that someone will listen to you, you may feel a bit better after having shared your distress and discomfort.

Actually, those who pretend to always be happy may end up being alone, isolated and of course unhappy.

Accept what life gives you in the present moment

This sounds like a paradox but if you try to accept your unhappiness as a moment in your life that sooner or later will fade away, you will be more content.

The most important thing is to be happy with the life you live, acknowledging and accepting the ups and downs that are part of your life. As the French say, c’est la vie.