Whether you went through depression or have a loved one who suffers from it, we all know that depression is not easy to live with. And what makes the situation worse is often the feeling that people around us don’t understand our being unwell and try to minimize the importance of this disorder.
I explained it in my last post on Wise&Shine last week.
Therefore, I would like to list here some phrases that you shouldn’t tell to depressed people:
1. “Focus on getting better.” We tend to forget that the state of depression affects us physically and psychologically. It is not enough to get out of bed, get some fresh air and take a walk to get rid of it. If this were the case, depressives would be the first ones to do so, without your advice, because it is very likely that they want to get out of this state.
2.”It will be better tomorrow.” This phrase could worsen the condition of the depressed person. They may expect to get better the next day, but depression cannot be treated overnight.
3.”Just be happy” For a depressed person, being happy is inconceivable because their disorder alters the image they have of reality. Talking to them about happiness will not improve their disorder, on the contrary. You cannot talk to them about things they are unable to do and sometimes even understand.
4. “It’s your fault.” Often, when something negative happens to our life, we imagine that it is our fault, and that we deserve it. This kind of approach can aggravate the situation of the depressive person.
5. “Don’t be so negative.” Negativity is part of how depressive people see life. It doesn’t make sense to tell them something like this. Most probably they will not understand.
6.”Stop complaining, there are people who have a more terrible life.” This is what I hate the most. It’s not by comparing to some other people that a depressed person would feel better. Being unable to get out of their depression, they would feel even more guilty and miserable for being unwell when they see that terrible things are happening around them. Depressives have very low self-esteem, and this kind of sentence will only increase their self-hatred.
Remember that we all may face difficult times in life. Try to be compassionate with anyone who is suffering also making a good use of your words.
What about you? Do you feel compassionate when someone is suffering?