Bringing Positive Changes in Your Life
In your life there are people that you can let go, that you can take the risk of loosing because they bring you mainly negativity.
On the other hand, there are people in your life that you cannot let go, as they bring you love, respect, well-being and support. They are the light of your life. Don’t let them go!
We are all human beings.
How you react to events depends only on you.
The mind is like a garden.
We are in a very nice period of the year: summer holidays are approaching. Summer has been in the air for a few months now and in a few days I will be leaving for Sardinia with my husband and our son, who, even if he is almost 19, still appreciates coming on holiday with us. We will go on vacation in a beautiful village in the Gulf of Asinara, Lu Bagnu. Sea view apartment from two terraces. Not only sea view, the sea can also be felt and heard by opening the window, so close it is. Beautiful sunsets accompanied by an aperitif in an idyllic setting. Not by chance they call it Sunsets Bay. What will I do on vacation? I want to get up in the morning calmly, have breakfast with my husband, get ready to go to the beach to take our long morning walks, which are so good to me. The feeling of my feet on the sand is priceless, it makes me feel good when I put my feet on a soft silky ground, which at that time of the morning is warm. It is an energizing contact that puts me in a good mood. Then go home to pick up our son, who likes sleeping long, and take the car to find a new beach to explore. Lie down in the sun, take a swim in the sea, get dry with the warm sea breeze. Read the books by Guillaume Musso that I have downloaded on the e-reader, practise meditation, listen to music. Eat grilled fish, a good pizza, a special pasta dish. Take a walk in the town centre, eat an ice cream, buy some souvenirs that will brighten the dark winter days. This is how my summer holidays look like. What about yours? Share it with me!
One of my followers pointed me out that in my post “Stay Away From Crabs = Stay Away From Negative People” I refer to success, without explaining what I mean. This could lead to misunderstandings and may make some readers feel uncomfortable.
Most of us actually think that success is having a lot of money, a beautiful car, a big house in a prestigious area, a super gourgeous, nice and rich partner. Usually successful people are also famous, they can be actors, great sportsmen or business people.
We take these ideas from the various media, television in the first place. Advertisements and programs make us see unreal worlds and at the same time they make us want all those things that we think they would change our lives and transform us into successful people.
I think that success is about fulfilling your dreams and living according to your values.
From this point of view, I consider myself a successful person. I have accomplished so many things (and many I still want to accomplish) that I wanted to do since I was a teenager and that match with my values. For example, building up a family: I got married and I’m still married after almost 25 years, I have a son; getting a meaningful job: I contribute to the construction of an increasingly united Europe; knowing different cultures: I traveled a lot, I still want to travel a lot, I studied a lot and I still want to study a lot to learn and better understand the world and their people.
I am not famous but all the things I have done led me to live a pleasant, fun and serene life. Obviously I have my ups and downs and my difficulties like everyone else. But this does not change my idea of being a successful person. I did the things I believed in and still believe in. I went ahead despite the difficulties. This is another meaning of success: the ability to keep going, always, despite everything. And this is also resilience. Think of children when they learn to walk. They fall and get up, again and again but for sure they do not think they will never be able to walk because they have fallen so many times! They keep on going, falling and getting up because the final goal is so important. Maybe sometimes they get hurt and cry, but they don’t give up, they want to learn to walk. And when they succeed, here’s their success!
What is your dream? What are your values? What would you give up to achieve your dream? What would you never give up instead? What fills up your life? What does make sense to you? Let me know!
Every morning at 7, a turkey sees the farmer approaching to feed him. The first mornings it is a bit scared but then it gains confidence until the Thanksgiving day comes…and the turkey is ready for the oven!
This is a cognitive bias or, rather, a bias of induction, that is, a false belief caused by a well-established habit. When you think that something will happen in a certain way because you are used to it, then you believe that that same thing will always happen like that and you don’t think it may change.
Until when it was discovered that black swans existed in Australia, in Europe we used to believe that only white swans existed.
This type of bias has caused (and will continue to cause) a lot of problems to people, including financial ones (think at economical crisis, for instance).
Turkeys and swans remind us that it is better not to take anything for granted as unexpected things in life happen!
One day, after a long walk with his owner, a dog lay down on the floor to rest.
One of his master’s friend passed by to pay a visit and they started to chat. The dog from time to time made some noises and the friend asked the master if the dog was fine. The master answered not to worry about the dog, everything was fine with him.
They continued to talk but the dog did not stop complaining. The friend asked again if the dog was really okay. The master replied that the dog was fine, he was just lazy. Actually, the dog was trying to sleep but he was lying down on a nail. The dog was so lazy to be ready to sleep on a nail, even though it was very uncomfortable for him.
What lesson can you get from this little story?
Spring brings back light. The short winter days are now a memory. It is the perfect time to recharge your batteries and repair your body, your spirit and your soul. Find your energy to get a good start.
Spring is the season of renewal. Every spring day is a new departure. Each morning represents a new chance to reach your goals and follow your dreams.
To get the best out of this spring spirit, here are 5 tips to regain your well-being.
1.Take care of yourself and adopt a healthy sleep pattern. Sleep is essential for physical and mental well-being, specialists recommend sleeping between 7 and 9 hours per night. Feeling rested after a good night’s sleep allows you to better manage your energy during the day.
Tips: Plan your day the night before. In the evening, do restful activities. Create an environment favourable to rest by eliminating strong light and screens (TV, computer but also mobile phone) in your room. Practise yoga or meditation exercises.
2. Energy is on the plate. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. With it, you establish the blood sugar level, avoid the cravings during the morning and give your body the energy it needs to function. Beware of some foods that could be counterproductive. Too sweet food gives you an immediate energy boost but, when over, they will leave you more tired than before.
Tips: Avoid sugars and caffeine in excess and favour food that makes you feel full, such as bananas or apples. Drink large quantities of green tea (which also helps weight loss and prevents cells aging). Buy fresh fruit and vegetables and try to eat less refined food (whole grains would be great). Make the menu of your week and fill up the fridge to avoid coming home hungry and having nothing to eat. By doing so, you will eat what you have and will not order food to be delivered at home. Establish a regular daily meal pattern. Have you ever thought about learning to cook?
3. Meditation is useful for your well-being. We live at high speed. Sometimes this rhythm of life prevents us from fully living the things we do and focusing on them. Many activities can help us take better advantage of the present moment and meditation is at the top of the list. Before going to work, focusing on the rhythm of breathing (inhale / exhale) can help you face the day more calmly. Meditation has beneficial effects on the brain and the general well-being.
Tips: Meditate every day at the same time: wake up your senses by disconnecting yourself for a few minutes. You do not have time? Try meditating in the shower or while you are on the bus or on the metro! It is enough to breathe with awareness. Relax while remaining alert. Follow your cat’s example, if you have one. But don’t meditate while driving!
4. Move to reduce your fatigue. Even if this statement may seem contradictory, sport is the best way to lighten your spiri up, remove your anxiety and regain your energy. Physical activity can stimulate the mitochondria, which are the generators of the body’s energy. So what are you waiting for? Put your sneakers on!
Tips: Walk at least 10,000 steps a day (I know, they are a lot). Try the sun salutation, a sequence of yoga positions that helps you release endorphins in the blood and then help you be in a good mood and spirit and energised. Practise yoga, Pilates, take a bike ride or a walk with your colleagues. Walk with awareness, focusing on each one of your steps and trying to feel the contact with the ground from the top of your heels to the tip of your toes.
5. More balance for more energy We often overlook the importance of emotional balance in everyday life. The harmony of the senses can help us feel better and improve our relationships with others. Pay attention to your emotions and learn to manage them. Do not prevent yourself from expressing them, in the appropriate ways and occasions, of course, otherwise you risk that they would become too intense and then you will no longer take control over them. Take full advantage of positive emotions and try to accept your feelings in moments of sadness or distress. Emotions have their reason for being: they are the ones who determine our actions.
Tips: Try looking at things from a broader perspective: everything in life is useful, even if it does not seem like that. Try not reacting immediately, breathe deeply and remind yourself that it will go away. If you really have to take a position, count up to ten before speaking. Set goals regularly to get the best out of yourself by living again your feelings or thoughts.
Who is happy at work? If you would win € 10 million, would you keep going to work? Not me. I don’t think I would stop working in the sense that I would stop doing any activity, but I would no longer do the work I am doing now. I would dedicate myself to one of my passions, for example travelling. I would also volunteer, I would continue to write this blog and go to Pilates.
In short, I would more or less continue to live the life I am living now without doing the same job and without feeling obliged to earn enough to make my living. This is actually the core issue: in most of the cases we work to support ourselves and our families and not because we like it. So talking about happiness at work is an exaggeration, at least in some cases. Ask an underpaid worker who works on the assembly line if they are happy to go to work. Or to a teacher harassed by the students if their job motivates them. Or a nurse doing stressful night shifts, if they’d rather stay at home to sleep.
The concept of happiness at work seems to me a bit forced, yet a lot of people talk about it, without considering that a large number of employees do not like the work they do but have no other choice, especially in economic downturn such as the current one (at least in Europe). It seems to me a bit like a race towards a goal that cannot be achieved.
Then let’s look at the increase of the cases of burn-out. In Europe, France holds the record with their 10% of active population suffering from burn-out. Is it better in other European countries? Actually, the key question to ask would be if there is a good balance between private life and working life. People are better where Governments implement policies to balance work with life.
The problem of work is therefore the space it occupies in our lives. Attention, space not time. Space means not only the time actually spent at the workplace, but also the time spent thinking about work, the famous work that you take home and that disturbs our private life.
What to do then to change this constant thought that we have towards work?
Have a look at the techniques described in the following posts:
5 Tips to Start The Day Anxiety-Free
5 Reasons Why Hiking Is Good for the Body, Soul And Spirit
How to Relax in 10 Steps: Making Space Within You
Try also to be grateful for what you have without thinking that this means lack of ambition. It simply means to stop chasing a chimera and to seek your well-being in what you have. Well-being, not happiness, because well-being is a state that can become permanent, while happiness is a moment, or some moments, that may fade away soon.
Pursuing well-being means beginning a journey made of small steps that could lead us to happiness but if the longed happiness is not achieved, the most important thing is being well.
Crisbie Coach