Life – Pagina 16 – Crisbie Coach

4 Tips for Your Wellbeing

Here you go with four tips to kick off the new decade that has just started:

1. Learn to say no: to assert yourself is first of all to respect your own values and to listen to your own needs. While managing your priorities in your private and professional life you become more productive/a but also more available. The result is that there is little time left for what really matters to you.

2. Have more fun: a healthy lifestyle includes healthy eating and also trying to limit sedentary life. What if we put together the useful and the enjoyable? If you want to move, take a nice walk or go dancing!

3. Smile more often: getting angry or criticising? What a waste of time! Do you know that for every minute of anger you spend energy that you will recover in an hour? Cultivate your happiness by relativizing what happens to you and taking advantage of what life offers. Let’s try with an exercise: write on a piece of paper three positive things that happened to you or that you liked each day. Put the paper in a jar and, when you’re down, pick up one and read it again to remind yourself of pleasant memories. How do you like it?

4. Take advantage of the silence: in a very noisy world that constantly urges us to do things, it is important to disconnect by getting rid of the noisesthat surrounds us. Program some moments of digital detox to take advantage of the silence by walking in the woods, taking a a siesta during the work break or enjoying a meditation session. Everything will be all right!

Let’s Try to Love Ourselves in 2020!

Say stop to resolutions that soon turn into constraints!

To avoid bad habits coming back, don’t set objectives that are too ambitious.

Consider your resolutions as a positive challenge to make your life more enjoyable! It is useless aiming at changing all in once. Use a stop-by-step approach and set a list of priorities among your resolutions.

Start with simple things, like sorting your clothes and choose the ones you have not been using for the last two years (and give them away. This is a good practice according to the Feng shui). Then replace a bad habit with a good one, like drinking more green tea instead of coffee.

Be kind to yourself and indulge yourself from time to time. The goal is not to become more stressed but to love yourself.

Happy 2020!

Indian Proverb

If you see all grey, move the elephant!

2019 is almost over and we will want to make a balance of what has been for us the closing year. Our successes, the difficulties we faced, what we would have liked but did not happen, what we would do differently. But is is also the time to think at the coming new year, what we would like to do, new projects, new perspectives. Maybe you could think at a meaningful phrase that you would transform into a mantra to take it with you all along the year, reminding you about the intentions you set but that you may forget.

I have chosen this Indian proverb. I know, the elephant is a big animal, very big indeed, it will be very difficult to move it! But I may look for someone to help me and then with a joint effort we could make it!

What about you? Would you think about choosing a leitmotiv for 2020!

But now let’s celebrate.

Happy New Year!

Four Tips for Fitting Self-Care Into Your Busy Schedule

No matter how busy you are, it is important that you take a little time for yourself. This is called self-care, and far from the extravagant images the phrase may call to your mind, the practice is about providing you with the energy and stability to live your best life every day. This often consists of the basic needs you may take for granted (and often skip past after a stressful day), like taking breaks and getting enough sleep. The good news is it can be easy to incorporate self-care into your busy life, whether you use a device to track how many steps you take in a day or take a quick nap during your lunch break. Here are some ways you can incorporate self-care into your day in a way that will actually help you when you need it the most.

Enhance Your Fitness with a Tracker
Many who lead busy lives believe that there just isn’t enough time in the day to exercise. The reality is you can squeeze it into your schedule, and you should. Exercise can make you feel more relaxed and less stressed, and it can provide an energy boost to help you get through your day. If you don’t know which workout to try, start by adding more walks into your schedule. Take a stroll through your neighborhood after dinner, or park farther away from the supermarket. Be creative and look for more ways to walk and take the stairs instead of driving or riding the elevator.
Make the Most of Break Time
Breaks are critical for your emotional health throughout a work day, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice a portion of the time you have to accomplish your tasks each day. Instead, use the time you already have set aside as a time to do double duty. Most people take the time, whether it is a quick 15 minutes or an extensive hour, to have a healthy lunch in the middle of their day. You can take this one step further by using your lunch break as a break in the larger sense of the word. Do not take a work project to the deli with you, and don’t bring back a sandwich to eat while you make the finishing touches on a report. Instead, use your lunch break as a time to distance yourself from work and clear your mind.
Use Your Breaks to Evaluate Your Workload
Your daily breaks can also help set you up in the right position to be healthier in a well-rounded kind of way. Taking breaks from the constant stream of work can give you an opportunity to go over your current workload in a more analytical way. For instance, if you feel like you never have enough time to spend time with family or friends, or even to take care of yourself, you may need to practice saying “no” more frequently at work. Saying “no” is not intrinsically a bad thing, in fact, it can be very healthy, as turning down projects means you are self-aware enough to understand you cannot take on any more projects without sacrificing your health. If you constantly feel stressed, there is a chance you are trying to do too much.
Support the health of your gut
Finally, when you cook your meals each day, you can make them even better for you by focusing on the health of your gut. Gut flora, the bacteria that live inside your digestive system, are critical for maintaining healthy levels in your body. You can help keep them healthy and support good bacteria by eating (or abstaining from) certain food or by including certain supplements into your diet. Bacillus coagulans, for instance, support intestinal health, while
saccharomyces boulardii protect against harmful microbes.

By making the most of your break time and regulating the amount of work you take on each week, you can help take care of yourself without even changing your schedule.

The Challenges of Communicating Across Cultures

I live and work in an real multicultural environment.

The city where I live is Brussels that hosts about 150 different nationalities. The place I work with is the European Commission where all the 28 European Union nationalities are represented.

Sometimes it is difficult to communicate to each other, as you have to pay much attention to other’s sensitivity, emotions and feelings.

Day after day, I learned that each culture has their own approach to communication.

I found a very interesting the book of the anthropologist Edward Hall, Beyond Culture. He identified the importance of context in communication and raised the attention on the “invisible” type of communication, by which groups of people understand and interpret the world.

The framework proposed by Hall for approaching intercultural communication is high-context and low-context cultures, which refer to the values cultures place on indirect and direct communication.

It is important to note that no culture is completely high-context or low-context, since all societies contain at least some parts that are both high and low. For example, the United States is a low-context culture while doing business, but during family gatherings tend to be high-context.

Let us see now the main features of the two cultural types.

High-Context Cultures

A high-context culture relies on implicit communication and nonverbal cues. In high-context communication, a message cannot be understood without a great deal of background information. Asian, African, Arab, central European and Latin American cultures are generally considered to be high-context cultures.

With people belonging mainly to high-context cultures, you may encounter the following:

Misunderstanding when exchanging information
Impression of a lack of information
Large amount of information is provided in a non-verbal manner, e.g. gestures, pauses, facial expressions
Emphasis on long term relationships and loyalty
Unwritten rules that are taken for granted but can easily be missed.

Low-Context Cultures

A low-context culture relies on explicit communication. In low-context communication, more of the information in a message is spelled out and defined. Cultures like the Germans, Scandinavians, Americans and Australians are generally considered to be low-context cultures.

Dealing with people belonging mainly to low-context cultures, you may find the following:

All meaning is explicitly provided in the message itself
Extensive background information and explanations are provided verbally to avoid misunderstandings
People tend to have short-term relationships
People follow rules and standards closely.

To avoid “diplomatic incidents”, I try to pay much attention to my interlocutor languages and “imitate” them using the technique of the mirror, namely, repeating the body language, the type of words they use, how they overall handle the conversation.

What about you? Which culture do you think you belong to? Which technique do you use to better communicate across cultures?

I Keep The Mug!

1990, Cornell University, United States. A professor distributes pretty mugs to some of his students. A general tour of coffee? Not really…

The professor is Daniel Kahneman, a psychologist who works on behavioral economics: he studies how individuals make their decisions to consume, buy, sell, invest.

With his mugs, he does a little experiment. Half of the students receives one, the other half does not receive anything. Then, the professor asks each group at what price they think the mug could be sold: those who have the mug said they are ready to sell for 7 dollars. And those who do not have it are ready to buy it for 3 dollars.

According to the economic theory, mugs should trade around 5 dollars: it would be a middle ground, the price which mug sellers (supply) and buyers (demand) would agree, after negotiation.

This is called the equilibrium price, which sets the value of the mug in the mug market. But Kahneman tries something else: he proposes to the students without a mug to receive either the mug, or 5 dollars. He offers to the students with a mug to buy them, also for 5 dollars. The choice is the same for everyone: a mug or 5 dollars.

The result is that the students who do not have a mug accept the money but the students who already have the mug refuse to give it away.

Why? The reason is the so-called endowment effect: we give more value to something that we already have and we are not ready to give it away to its real value on the market.

Because of this psychological bias, people have a hard time getting rid of a piece of furniture, their old car, or a house, because they overestimate the value.

But this bias that can also be useful for trading: when a seller offers us for example a subscription, a mattress or ... a mug to test for free for a while, it is because they hope that in the end we will be willing to pay to keep it!

And you, have you ever kept anything offered by a seller?

A Poem: Die Slowly by Martha Medeiros

He who becomes the slave of habit,
who follows the same routines every day,
who never changes brand,
who does not risk and change the color of his clothes,
who does not talk to people he doesn’t know
dies slowly.

He who makes television his guru
dies slowly.

He or she who shuns passion,
who prefers black on white,
and the dots on the “i” to a whirlpool of emotions,
precisely those that recover the gleam of the eyes,
smiles from the yawns,
hearts from the stumbling and feelings
dies slowly.

He or she who does not turn things topsy-turvy,
who is unhappy at work,
who does not risk certainty for uncertainty,
to thus follow a dream,
those who do not forego sound advice at least once in their lives,
die slowly.

He who does not travel,
who does not read,
who can not hear music,
who does not find grace in himself,
dies slowly.

He who slowly destroys his self love,
who does not allow himself to be helped,
who spends days on end complaining about his own bad luck,
about the rain that never stops,
dies slowly.

He or she who abandon a project before starting it,
who fail to ask questions on subjects he doesn’t know,
he or she who don’t reply when they are asked something they do know,
die slowly.

Let’s avoid death in small doses,
reminding oneself that being alive requires an effort far greater than the simple fact of breathing.

Only a burning patience will lead
to the attainment of a splendid happiness.

Martha Medeiros

The Wonderful Rooster: a Fable from Africa

It was about sunset, the time when the sky gets orange-coloured. Close to a little river, an old man next to death called his son and told him: “Listen my sweet creature, I will leave soon this world to re-join my ancestors. As a legacy, you will receive this wonderful rooster that made my father’s fortune as well as mine. It can secure your wealth too. Thanks to it you will have a happy life, lack nothing and also help the poorest. It is not a common rooster. For generations, it has been handed over from father to son. You will watch over it with great care from now on”. Then he died. The son organised the funeral and he invited relatives and friends.

The mourning period passed, the young man decided to participate with his rooster to fighting tournaments and for many years the rooster won all the fights, giving his owner luck and consideration. All the kings wanted that rooster, but the man did not want to get rid of it even though they would pay gold. He became powerful and rich and built a huge palace, where many servants worked. He also gave work to those who could not make their living. He built up schools where children could learn many disciplines.

His success aroused much jealousy and one of his neighbour, envious of his happiness, decided to make his life harder. She had the idea of giving her corn to the rooster. She fed it so much that it became so fat that after some time it could barely walk.

It was at that point that the cruel woman went to visit her neighbour and told him: “Your rooster stole my corn and I have nothing left to eat”.

The young man, embarrassed, replied: “Dear friend, calm down, I will pay you for your corn!”

She reacted angrily saying: “No, no, no! I want my corn back, the corn that your rooster has eaten. Kill it and give me back my corn.”

The atmosphere was tense, full of electricity, like when a storm is about to break out. The woman was full of anger, blinded by greed, and adamant. The young man offered her all his wealth, his palace, his gold, his diamonds and jewels but the woman did not change her mind. She considered her decision non-negotiable. The problem was brought before the Jury of Wise Men, and they listened to the discussion. Jealous as they all were, the members of the Jury condemned to death the poor rooster that was sleeping in the garden with a full stomach. They went there, they got it and they killed it.

The corn grains were returned to the woman. The young man suffered from this injustice and perished very fast. Struck by grief, he was devastated and became sadder day after day. He buried secretly the body of his rooster behind his palace and, wounded in the depths of his soul, he locked himself up for a long time in his palace. One day, in the place where the roosted was buried, a mango with beautiful fruits was born. The envious neighbour, who was greedy and bold, went to ask the young man one of the mango fruit. The man did not refuse but the woman called also his son and wanted him to eat those tasty fruits too. They took a lot of fruits instead of some, as she had asked.

The next day, at sunrise, the woman’s son went back to the mango tree and started to eat as many mangoes as he could, without asking permission to the owner. He climbed up the tree, chose the more mature ones and ate them. The tree owner saw her neighbour’s son up on a branch tree eating his mango fruits. He chewed and let the kernels and the peels fall on the ground, indifferent to his presence. Suddenly a mango, fell off from his hands and hit the owner’s head. Furious and thirsty for revenge, the man called for justice and gathered the village people and the Jury together.

As soon as they gathered, he declared threatening: ”Whoever ate my mangoes, must return them to me!”, All the presents approved, also the Jury. The culprit’s mother appeared completely breathless and said to the owner: “ I will give you back your fruits”. But he remembered the unfair death of his rooster and replied: “ Oh woman, since your justice was good for the past, it will be good again today. I claim back the fruits that your child has eaten”.

The Jury of Wise Men decided that the man was entitled to ask for fair justice. Crying and pleading with her neighbour, the woman offered him all her possessions in exchange for her son’s life. Though, according to the decision, the boy had to suffer the same fate as the poor rooster.

However, the man declared that he was ready to forgive all the past wickedness. Then, he went back to his palace, leaving his neighbour’s son alive.

Shocked by all the confusion, spared by fate but ashamed, the woman realised that her son owed his life to that man. She then pleaded with heaven to free her from her jealously and her past misdeeds. Destiny had given her a painful lesson and she finally understood that envy destroys those who feed it.

9 Reasons to Practise Mindfulness

Today we speak a lot about Mindfulness. Do we really know what it is and why it is useful?

Let’s start with a small definition. Mindfulness is a mental training that makes you aware of your actions and bring focus on what you are doing in the present moment. It is a concept taken from Buddhism but it has lost the religious component and it is not limited to meditation, though meditation is part of Mindfulness.

Today’s life is sometime difficult and often very busy. We find ourselves more and more exhausted and breathless. Our mind is forced to focus on several tasks at the same time (the so called multitasking), at the expenses of our mental and physical well-being.

Practising Mindfulness helps us for sure with finding a bit of quietness and copying with events’ life differently, both in the work environment and at personal level. Mindfulness helps us with finding our own human and spiritual intimacy.

Practising regularly Mindfulness has a positive effect on stress and anxiety and it also helps us in developing useful mental skills that build capacity for:

Focus
Mental Clarity and Agility
Collaboration
Creativity and Innovation
Emotional Intelligence
Empathy and Compassion
Resilience
Happiness
Overall Well-Being.

Try a simple exercise: eat slowly a fruit, trying to taste it fully, to understand the consistency and find out the feelings it gives you. If you eat like that once a day, you will be on the good path for being mindful!

A Lesson from a Horse

Somewhere in the countryside of a country of this world, there was a farmer who owned a very beautiful and strong horse. One day, one worker reported to him that his beloved horse, that had also a great value, fell into an abandoned well.

The worker was very sorry for that bad accident, because he knew that the well was very deep and not accessible. He called some other workers but they could not get the animal out, despite all possible efforts.

The farmer went to see the horse in the well and realised that there was nothing left to do, in spite of the fact that the horse was not injured.

He thought it was not worth saving the horse, the needed efforts would have costed more money and time than buying another one.

So the farmer decided to let the horse in the well and ordered his workers to cover the poor animal with earth, so to bury it. Then he left to go on with his business.

The workers started to throw earth in the well, according to the farmer’s orders. To their surprise, each time they shoveled earth, the horse shook the body and the earth fell to the ground under its legs. The horse walked over it while the well was filling up with earth.

A couple of hours later, the horse had its head out of the well and after some more shovels it jumped out happily.

Although sometimes it seems that some people want only to throw earth on you to make you collapse or desist, you have the same intelligence and willpower to go forward, just like the horse.

When someone tries to discredit you, shake yourself, walk above the earth and come out of that imaginary well. Stop and think why this is happening. Think about the good things of your life. Free yourself from those who want to leave you at the bottom of the well. Act like the horse!