Aristotle and the 11 Rules for Living Happily

It might seem strange to think that the wisdom of an ancient philosopher like Aristotle could still resonate in our fast-paced, digital age. However, Aristotle’s insights remain profoundly relevant, offering a blueprint for a fulfilling life even in the complexities of the modern world. If Aristotle spoke of 11 rules for living happily, it’s because he believed there is indeed a path to eudaimonia—a term that encapsulates the highest human good, often translated as “flourishing” or “happiness.”

At first glance, it may appear absurd that the thoughts of a man who lived centuries ago could reflect the reality of our rapidly evolving society. However, Aristotle understood the human condition in a way that transcends time. No matter how much trends, mindsets, or expectations change, the pursuit of happiness remains a central concern for humanity. According to Aristotle, there are 11 rules to achieve a happy life. If you follow them consistently, happiness will be yours—and not only that, you’ll also unlock the secret to living the best life possible.

What Is Eudaimonia?

How does one achieve a happy life? What exactly is eudaimonia? According to Aristotle, it’s the concept of a life well-lived, where happiness is not just a fleeting emotion but the result of continuous action directed toward a state of well-being and prosperity. This idea goes beyond physical well-being, encompassing what resides deep within our hearts, minds, and spirits.

In his “Nicomachean Ethics,” Aristotle often pondered the question, “What kind of person should I be?”—a far more profound inquiry than the more common, “What should I do to be happy?” A man of his wisdom could not be content with the average view of happiness. He recognized that true happiness involves focusing one’s resources and energy on self-improvement. This focus not only enriches the individual but also positively impacts the world around them, making life truly fulfilling.

Aristotle, who saw humans as inherently social creatures, dedicated to relationships and communities, faced personal adversity, including the loss of his great student Alexander the Great and subsequent political tensions. Despite these challenges, Aristotle considered himself happy because he adhered to these 11 rules.

Are Aristotle’s Rules for Happiness Effective?

The first question one should ask is whether they truly know what they want to be. In many cases, sadness stems from a lack of self-awareness, leading to an absence of goals and a deep sense of frustration. Human beings are meant to explore both the world and themselves. Without a clear path or understanding of who they might become, they cannot know what to do to achieve happiness.

Eudaimonia, the state of living well and thriving, is achieved through virtue. The person you aspire to be is a virtuous one. Virtues are character traits and tendencies that, when practiced consistently, become excellent habits. Virtuous individuals become role models for themselves and others, contributing to a better society. These virtues are the “golden mean,” golden rules that help one attain the ultimate goal.

There are 11 virtues, just like the 11 rules for eudaimonia.

  • The first is Courage—aware of dangers, one fights for their dreams.
  • Next is Temperance, which lies between excess and deficiency. For Aristotle, both the man who drinks too much (lacking temperance) and the one who never drinks at all (being overly temperate) are in the wrong. The key is finding the right balance.
  • Then there is Liberality—giving more than one has to others, particularly in doing good.
  • Magnificence is knowing you are great and striving for the best without showing off.
  • Magnanimity involves serving others with kindness without falling prey to pride.
  • Patience is about avoiding outbursts of anger—venting is fine, but in the face of adversity, remaining calm and serene helps one handle challenges better.
  • Truthfulness—honesty always pays off, even when it seems impossible and could cause trouble. The truth always finds its way back.
  • Wittiness and Friendliness go hand in hand, involving the art of social interaction with genuine humor without being vulgar or intrusive.
  • Shame is about understanding one’s limits—avoiding becoming either shameless or too timid to act.
  • Last, but certainly not least, there is Justice—the ideal that animates everything, guiding one to act justly.

The key is to apply these rules according to the situation and your own moral compass. In doing so, you can aspire to be the person you want to be—virtuous and happy within the society you live in.

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The Trap Of High Expectations

Our brain does not like uncertainty. We are programmed for survival but we cannot move on if what surrounds us is not clear. To reduce the uncomfortable feeling that a lack of certainty generates, we create expectations. However, relying on our expectations does not always help us feel better. Our expectations affect us more than we imagine. They affect our learning, our perception, and how we treat those around us.

Our expectations can become a source of frustration. For example, you definitely want to see a movie because you have heard great comments about it but after watching it you find out that you actually did not like it that much, so you feel disappointed. If you go to eat in a famous restaurant, then the food does not seem to you so well prepared, you are disappointed (and you may have spent a fortune).

Expectations are said to be anticipated resentments, because when reality does not match your expectations it causes you frustration.

In marketing, customer satisfaction is defined as the result of perception minus expectation. The higher the expectation, the higher you will have to set the bar of experiences or relationships in order to be satisfied. This is an unconscious mechanism, but there are ways to act on your way of thinking, so that it could play in your favour.

Let’s see how they can help you in the context of the current pandemic.

1. Trust that soon the pandemic will end, thanks to the progress of vaccination. Do not get obsessed by setting an end date though. Now in Europe they are talking about mid-July, but can how you be sure? Do not let your happiness depend on the end of Covid.

2. Replace expectations with gratitude. Be grateful that you did not get sick, that you have a house to live in, that someone loves you. Look at the little details of your daily life and you will surely find something to be grateful for.

Living without so many expectations is easier because you value what happens to you in that moment without being influenced by the idea you created before. This does not mean abandoning your dreams or desires. You must keep them as a beacon that guides you in the decisions about your future, but you shall not make your happiness depend on external factors that are beyond your control.

Can you let go any of your expectations?

Photo by Cortney Corlew on Unsplash

Three Tips to Fight Frustration

The pandemic has put us in front of an uncertain future and left us with negative emotions.

We have all experienced as children the disappointment of asking for something that was then denied. It could also happen that we started crying and this drove our parents crazy. They labelled this behaviour as a whim.

Actually, frustration is present in all stages of life and our success also depends a little on how we manage this typical human emotion.

A Zen master summarizes happiness in a simple formula: happiness is the reality that we live less than what we want or hope to achieve.

When what you want outweighs what you have, then you are faced with what Carl Gustav Jung used to say: “Life not lived is a disease from which you can die.”

In our society where competition and instant satisfaction prevail, frustration necessarily accompanies us more or less always, because as soon as we have satisfied a wish, another one comes.

This period of pandemic has made us move from unbridled consumerism to a culture of cancellation (cancellation of holidays, cancellation of dinners with friends, cancellation of medical appointments, etc.).

Has this sudden change affected your life? See if you have any of the symptoms listed below to understand if you have become a frustrated person:

  1. you are often melancholic;
  2. you experience increased irritability, tension and stress. Things that didn’t bother you before now make you jump up;
  3. you have negative thoughts that come back all the time, stealing you energy and sometimes sleep;
  4. you have increased consumption of alcohol and medicines taken without medical advice;
  5. you want to run away.
Photo by Oscar Aguilar Elías on Unsplash

If you recognize yourself in one or two of these characteristics, then it means that frustration has taken over part of your life.

Here are some tips that will help you get through this moment:

  1. cultivate patience. It may seem obvious, but it is very effective. As a child as well as an adult, frustration occurs when you don’t get what you want. If the parents don’t buy you the toy you want when you ask for it, but they tell you they will offer it to you over your birthday, that doesn’t make you feel better. In times of crisis, if we do not know when the situation that creates frustration will end (as now, which the spread of Covid has resumed in a rather important way) we could lose hope. Against this view, only a long-term perspective will help you. Although you don’t know how long the situation will last, knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel helps you to live in the present moment.
  2. analyse what you get from it. Just as energy is not created or destroyed, but it is transformed, even losses can bring you gains. If you could not leave for that trip you wanted so much, think that you have saved some money and as soon as you can leave again, you will have greater financial availability. If you have lost your job because the company where you used to work has closed down, you will be forced to evaluate other possibilities, to get back into the game and maybe you can start an independent business that you never would have thought of before and that finally it is worthy. To fight frustration you have to ask yourself: What do I gain from this loss?
  3. think that everything changes. Nothing we have will last for ever. Even if we could satisfy all our wishes, it would always be a temporary satisfaction. If nothing remains as it is but everything changes, then the frustration loses its meaning.

The following thought is attributed to the painter Eugéne Delacroix: “Desire the best, avoid the worst and take what comes”. If you follow this motto, instead of holding on to expectations, you will take things as they happen. You will feel more in the flow of events, even chaotic, that life sometimes offers you.

Do you feel frustrated in this period of pandemic that is not over yet nor do you know when it will end?

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash