determination – Crisbie Coach

How And Why Determination And Commitment May Change Your Life

Paris, 2004. A young man comes out from a building with a smile on his face. He applied for a traineeship and had just finished his interview that did not go as expected.

The young man, named Héritier, is 22 years old and came from Angola at the age of 8, running away from a civil war. He did not speak French but did everything to learn all well in school, also helped by his family and friends. After his degree, he started to look for small jobs, to contribute to the family budget.

He applied for a internship with a cleaning company. The employer, although they found that Héritier had an atypical profile, was very interested in the boy’s dynamism and the interview lasted about 5 hours!

At the end of the interview, Héritier did not get the internship but his first job contract. The company was just established and was looking for young talents like Héritier, who in short time reached the top of his career within the company.

He decided then to go further to make his dream come true. He wanted to create his own company and started up a cleaning company that would use only organic products.

In those years, his career looked interesting to the media because it reflected a reality that was still unknown: the economical contribution produced by migrants in the country that welcomed them.

With his company, Héritier has generated a turnover of 100.000 euros during the first year, a figure that tripled over the following three years.

Héritier managed to find his way thanks to his commitment and determination to succeed.

What have you learned from Héritier’s story?

What I Have Learned From Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo da Vinci was the most creative genius in history. Of course, saying that I learned things from Leonardo is perhaps a bit risky, because in fact Leonardo is the very embodiment of genius.

As we know, Leonardo lived in a particular era for humanity, the Renaissance, when literature, philosophy, science and the fine arts experienced an unprecedented splendour. Italy was in full economic momentum and Florence became the capital of fine arts.

Leonardo was born not far from Florence, in Vinci in 1452. In Florence, he learned painting, sculpture, architecture, music, nature, science, geography, poetry and who knows what else. After all, we know he was a genius, right?

Let’s see some of his main masterpieces:

1. The Last Supper, a mythical painting, difficult to preserve because Leonardo used a technique of his own invention that, however, proved to be inappropriate.

2. The Vitruvian Man, a drawing that illustrates the proportions of the human body.

3. The Gioconda, also known as the Mona Lisa, one of the most famous and seen artworks in the world.

Other works are less famous but not less important:

The Codex Atlanticus, which brings together the largest collection of Leonardo’s writings and drawings.
His futurist inventions such as the helicopter, the plane and the submarine.
The huge statue depicting a horse: 70 tons of bronze and 7 metres high.

Why Leonardo wanted to make these works, so different from each other?

I think he was mainly driven by the curiosity to experiment and discover new horizons. He loved creating and doing things with his hands. He loved dreaming, designing, building and putting wings to his ideas.

Taking care of all his projects, one after the other and sometimes even in parallel, represented for Leonardo his life’s purpose.

The lesson that Leonardo taught me is that in life you have to try, make mistakes, do not give up and start over again to move forward. It does not matter how many difficulties you may face. Surely, Leonardo had to go through a series of failures to achieve his project. I am sure that determination and perseverance were also some of his skills. Look at what he left us, all the works that gave him the title of genius of all time.

You may not forget your failures, but to progress you can learn from them.

What are the lessons learned from your life?

How To Live the Life You Want

Albert Ellis (1913-2007), an American psychologist, developed his own method: Rational Emotive Therapy (RET). The basic principle of this therapy can be summed up in this sentence taken by Epictetus: “People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.” According to Ellis, by finding and changing your irrational beliefs, which are a source of suffering, you can free up yourselves from your internal chains and finally lead the life you want.

Here are 5 tips that you can use depending on the area that you deem most “urgent” (couple, work, family, etc.) in which toxic beliefs are active and, therefore, need to be addressed.

Stop using of the verb “must”. Ellis calls this belief the “musts”. Must-haves can generate emotional disturbances, which prevent you from connecting to your deepest and truest needs and desires. In addition, they also prevent you from finding the resources you need to pass over difficult times. Examples of some thoughts resulting from this belief are: “I have to do everything well otherwise others will not appreciate me (meaning, if others do not like me, I am worthless)”; “The others have to do exactly as I want”. “Circumstances must allow me to get what I want and how I want it”. Whenever you feel trapped in a situation, the “musts” are at work. Identifying them allows you to weaken their negative charge and slowly you will be able to let them go.
Choose your words wisely (remember that words are bricks that build walls, also within you). The words you use not only reveal your way of thinking but also guide your behaviour. How you interpret what happens to you and how you project yourself into an event that has yet to happen affects your emotional state. This generates emotions that reinforce your beliefs. Rather than repeating over and over that you are not lucky or that you are worthless, it is better to say that you did your best, that perhaps you have not been careful or that you were not aware of that thing or fact, but that you will do everything possible to do it better next time. It is not about using the magic wand, but about betting on what helps you move forward rather than following your negative and useless beliefs.
Dare to think about yourself. It is not about thinking only about yourself or thinking of yourself as opposed to others. Judgments, conformism and projections from others (parents, family, friends, society) take you away from what makes you feel good. Ellis believed in the power of determination, even knowing the weight of the unconscious and personal history. He invited his patients to identify areas of life that made them feel good and wanted them to focus on those. We all want to be accepted, recognized for our worth, but sometimes it is necessary to put aside these desires of gratification. You shall focus on what makes the most sense to you, what you feel is the condition for a happy life according to your happiness standards.
Stop blaming yourself. Are you ruining your life by saying “I should have” or “I could have”? Are you spinning around like a hamster on its wheel? Reproaches against yourself represent real sterile and negative self-flagellations. If you have made a mistake, even a serious one, let the guilt go away and then evaluate two rational and productive options: apologize and repair the “damage”. By apologizing, you face the reality and assume your responsibilities. Repairing, on the other hand, allows you to get back into a position of action and makes you regain self-esteem. Stopping self-scolding also helps you take the reins of your life back and move on. If you have made a mistake and you are the victim, it’s just as important to learn to forgive yourself and learn the lesson for the next time.
Laugh more often. Laughing allows you to take distance, to play down, to hold on and to create an environment that is conducive to exchange and sharing around you. Look at the crazy side of situations (there always is), listen to humorists, watch comedies. Laughing is contagious, you know. As soon as you see that you are being a know-it-all, that you want to give lessons, that you are becoming fussy or that you are complaining, stop it! Remember that people do not like when you are like that. Moreover, you might be suffering of stress toxic effects, as you would fail to identify what is important from what is not and, finally, you would be a victim of a perfectionism that may ruin your life and, sometime, even that of the others.

Do you think that any of these tips may help you with your life?

How And Why Reinventing Yourself. Find It Out by Following These 6 Steps

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your life? Have you tried several times but failed? Reinventing yourself professionally or personally can be a challenge but also a great adventure. Follow these 6 steps to succeed.

First step: find or wake up one of your passion.

Concluding one phase and starting another one is not easy. Reinventing yourself requires more commitment than a simple change. Consequences may impact vital aspects of your daily life and a lot of courage and determination are needed.

The pandemic phase has forced all of us to look within and it is possible that many of us are dealing with the need of reinventing ourselves. There will be some who feel empty and need to do something to fill the empty spaces, others who have been forced to reinvent themselves due to the loss of a family member or a friend, others due to difficulties with their work.

For one reason or another, these are times when you need to stop to reflect and make decisions. Let’s see how to deal with this situation.

Reinventing yourself in a satisfactory way presupposes confronting yourself with one of the most uncomfortable emotions that exist: fear. You will be forced to leave your comfort zone and take a leap in the dark. The best antidote to fear is passion. It is the first success factor in a “reinvention” phase. Finding your passion, or awakening it, is only possible if you are honest with yourself. You have to ask yourself questions like:

who I really am;
what I want to do;
which of my passions can help me in this moment.

An honest reflection and re-discovery your old dreams are the fundamental ingredients to neutralize fear and not fearing the future.

The second factor that will help you is not to assess uncertainty as a danger but as an opportunity. It is a question of letting go nostalgia and opening up to the experience of the “new”, so that to focus on what you want and not on what you fear.

To achieve this, you must be willing to learn with humility. If you think you already know everything, it is difficult to be able to start over in any area of your life in a satisfactory way. The success of those who are successful is only the tip of the iceberg, behind there are hours and hours of training and mistakes that are barely seen.

Facing the future and uncertainty also requires a great deal of creativity and imagination. When reinventing yourself, it is important to keep a compass to map the path you are taking. The future is not written anywhere, it is up to you to create it and to do so you need our imagination and hard work.

Reinventing yourself means knowing yourself from another perspective and being surprised by the opportunities that suddenly begin to present themselves. If we want your new self to be successful, you need to go out and make yourself known. For this, it is essential to strengthen your network of contacts.

The final ingredient for your success is to be self-confident, because you are capable of doing things you do not even imagine. But you need to learn to use the resources you have and find others available around you.

To conclude, here are the six ingredients to successfully reinvent yourself:

find / awaken your passion to neutralize fear;
transform difficulties into opportunities;
learn, learn, learn;
use great creativity and imagination;
make yourself known;
be self-confident.

Are you ready to reinvent yourself now?